Gut Rumbles

December 17, 2005

eleven days

In eleven days, I will celebrate TWO birthdays. (Well... one will be celebrated. I don't know about the other one.) I started Gut Rumbles on December 28, 2001. This site will be FOUR YEARS OLD in eleven more days.

It's easy for me to remember when I made my first post here. December 28 is my son's birthday. I started this blog in a fit of very hot anger and very deep depression after I tossed Quinton's birthday cake in the trash can that fateful Friday evening four years ago. Here is part of what I wrote:

Today is my son's eighth birthday. This also was my weekend for visitation, according to that very expensive divorce decree I have in my possession. But my son is not here. I have presents and all sorts of nifty things for him, but he won't see any of it today because my disgusting slut of an ex-wife is in the north Georgia mountains shacking up in a cabin with her unemployed, dope-smoking, piece of shit lover, along with my son, who she kidnapped as far as I am concerned. I became aware of this fact when I arrived home from work at 5:30 this evening and checked the messages on my answering machine.

When I heard that message, I threw Quinton's birthday cake in the trash can and I cried for a while. (I cried a LOT back in those days.) Then, I fixed myself a strong drink and started this blog.

I'm 53 years old and no one else I've encountered in life has come even close to being as relentlessly cruel to me as the Bloodless Cunt has been. She DID send me a letter when I was in Willingway. She asked me to sign over my half of our time-share to her, for free of course (I am NOT making this up!), and she even included the form required to get that done. All I had to do was fill it out, sign it and have it notarized. She was kind enough to mention that Willingway probably had a notary public to do the job.

I threw the letter and the form away.

Then, when I got home from Willingway, I discovered the letter she penned (two days before my release, so that it would be waiting in my mailbox) to inform me that she was taking another hostage getting remarried in March. "Quinton really likes him," she said.

Now... I wouldn't accuse her of trying to do something to upset me, wreck my serenity and send me reaching for a bottle on the day I got out of rehab... but I did think that the timing was unusual. Well, it would be unusual for anyone else; that's just par for the course for her.

So, I don't know for certain that I'll see my son on his birthday. The Bloodless Cunt may haul ass with Quinton and shack up with her latest victim husband-to-be in our time-share. That kind of thing wouldn't surprise me. I'll celebrate four years of Gut Rumbles no matter what happens.

I was thinking about the evolution (or mutation) in blogdom that I've seen since I started when I read this post. I agree with a lot of what he says, especially the part about him being embarrassed to visit his own site.

I don't want to piss on anyone's parade, but I've been having the sinking feeling, for some time now, that the vaunted Blogosphere is a sickly puppy, the runt of the litter with rickets, and scabies.

Hear me out: when the World was relatively small, there was much interaction. Give, take, everyone knew everyone. Maybe didn't like everyone, but knew them. Now there are Pajama parties with huge fucking budgets, one is In or Out, it is a fucking abortion of a thing.

Yes, blogdom IS different now, compared to what it once was. The pimps moved in and slutted up the place. I've always contended that if you wrote a good blog, people would find it. (If you build it, they will come.) Now, I'm not so sure. Success is based more who you know and who you blow anymore.

I really hate to see that happen. I always hate to see innocence lost. But what the hell? Life is constant change, so you might as well accept it.

I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing. I'm not in this for the money and I'm probably as tall a dog as I'm ever going to be anyway, so fuck it. I blog because I like doing it. Let the "elite" beat their meat and call it New Media. I'm gonna remember the Good Old Days.

Besides--- I think I've learned to write sober and I'm still enjoying that new experience.


Rob -- you built it, and we came.

As for the rest of the post, wow, Bloodless Cunt is a nice name for the bitch. It's a testimony to your restraint that you never sawed her head off with a hacksaw.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on December 18, 2005 12:18 AM

Oh, and of course: Happy Blogaversary or whatever the appropriate term would be.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on December 18, 2005 12:19 AM

Those of us who do this "blogging thing" for ourselves would rather be the sickly puppy than the big dog in pajamas.

Hang in there, dude. Congrats on keeping this up four years.

Posted by: caltechgirl on December 18, 2005 12:25 AM

Happy blogaversary! And special congratulations on learning to write sober. I hope to regain that ability someday myself; I wrote for decades before, out of some impulse (not profit, I only sold one piece of technical writing to a former boss). You give me a bit of hope that just maybe I'll get the 'spark' back. So thanks for sharing that.

Posted by: Stu on December 18, 2005 01:28 AM

Good grief that woman is evil.

Posted by: blondage on December 18, 2005 02:07 AM

People only have as much control over you as you grant them.

Posted by: Yogimus on December 18, 2005 02:28 AM

if she's in the time share and you didn't give permission, isn't that criminal tresspass?

Posted by: Wildman7316 on December 18, 2005 04:48 AM

I remember going back and reading about all the shit that went on back in the day of the BC. It still hurts my heart to think about it. Wishing you all the best on your blogversary and hope there's many more to come. I could quite frankly give two shits about the "big guys" who blow each other to get the traffic, I read who I like and baby, it's you...(and now a few of your friends... :)

Posted by: Lisa on December 18, 2005 08:43 AM

The Good Ol' Days are only good in nice warm reflective times around the campfire or shooting the breeze with your buddies.

We are living the good old days now. Savour and enjoy, old friend.

Happy blogthingday (or whatever the cyberword is)

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on December 18, 2005 09:52 AM

Good grief that woman is evil.

I'll second that. Goddamn.

Rob, the best revenge is illegitimi non carborundum.

Posted by: McGehee on December 18, 2005 10:32 AM

Pity is, if you'd just killed her, you would have been out of jail by now, probably.

Keep writing. Sober, you're better than you ever were.

Posted by: og on December 18, 2005 10:51 AM

Funny, I don't see much difference between your drunk blogging and your sober blogging. Maybe you're slightly less profane but you're just as acidic as ever. Still burning up the blogiverse after all these years....

Posted by: Libby on December 18, 2005 11:42 AM

Just a thought, but it seems to me that if you have a divorce agreement where in you are authorized certain visitation rights and the BC continually violates these rights, you should be looking to the court to correct this problem. I do remember your writing about the judge who s****** you over in the first place, but unless he has maintained jurisdiction over the case you could (hopefully) find one without the apparent predjudice.

Posted by: emdfl on December 18, 2005 11:50 AM

Sometimes people just won't let'cha divorce them emotionally, specially when kids are involved. Kids know who's playing games and who isn't. Too bad you pitched that birthday cake. Put them in the freezer and when he's old enough to understand, pull them all out so he'll know you thought about him every, single birthday. He doesn't care what she says or does against you and vice versa. He'll only care how you felt about him. It'll heal a lot of hurt. Happy Whatever's.

Posted by: Tessa on December 18, 2005 12:32 PM

If people read blogs solely to acquire news from a non-traditional source, then maybe being "In" versus "Out" might mean something. Speaking for myself, I read blogs for various reasons. I read yours, specifically, for your insights, the way you express them, and your sense of humor. Keep up the good work, and congrats on keeping this thing going for four years.

Posted by: Scott Crawford on December 18, 2005 12:46 PM

Many happy returns on your blogversary,or whatever it's called. And your continued warriorness against stuff.

You make us laugh and think and you're quite unique. The ex-wife, eh. She'll be surfing chamber of commerce meetings for hubs in a few years. That'll fix her.

Posted by: Kim on December 18, 2005 05:03 PM

Not only has your blog touched your life, but countless others, as is evident by your comments. I know it made a big difference in my life. Because of you I started my blog and met some wonderful people and in 11 days I will be in Ga!

Happy Birthday blogdaddy!

Posted by: livey on December 18, 2005 06:09 PM

I feel sorry for Mickey, she did it to two of my friends. She did it too Alltel Terry first and then to bowleggs, one day, she will get hers, Cat

Posted by: catfish on December 18, 2005 06:51 PM

13 days, I'll never be as smart as the Kool Kids. :(
ran outta fingers.

Posted by: livey on December 18, 2005 09:30 PM

Hey Rob,
I first stumbled upon your blog while going through my divorce. Interestingly there were eerie similarities. My ex is sitting pretty and it'll take me years to overcome the financial devastation that resulted. But yes, life goes on and the important thing, as you've discovered is to keep playing your game. Anyway, you've become a daily habit and I just wanted to thank you for having the courage to put it all out there. Keep up the good work. You're an inspiration and you're touching many lives in a positive way.

Posted by: Godfried on December 18, 2005 10:38 PM

Happy Blogday A-man. Still kicking and worth reading.

Now, as far as the "pimped and put on the street" blogs popping up goes. I look at it this way, you pay the bucks and do your thing, on your own, and you last. You're beholden to NO-ONE.
The "pimped" sites have sponsors and crews of geeks to prettify the mess. All fluff, no "stuff". They will eventually burn themselves out. Sure, they will be replaced by others. That is the cycle of corporate garbage. But it is still, "here today, gone tomorrow".
You do what you do best. The only way you'll fold, is if you close the door. You aren't controlled by "ratings". That is how a good site should be, a stand alone.
Yeah, the 'sphere has gotten messy. But I think the smart folk will figure it out.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on December 19, 2005 03:12 AM

One of the things I'd hoped you learned at Willingway is that YOU are responsible for your sobriety and you have to give up a lot of the hate and anger you have toward the BC. Sure, she's a bitch and inconsiderate. But you have the power to turn the switch off when you know she'll continue pushing those buttons.

I'm proud that you've come so far, Rob. You know that. I want you to keep working on it and do whatever you have to in order to succeed.

And, remember, mi casa es su casa.

Posted by: Joanie on December 19, 2005 06:19 AM

Children are smarter than adults give them credit for & they know when they are being manipulated and/or used for revenge...
what goes around comes around...

Posted by: Maxnnr on December 19, 2005 10:52 AM

Keep your chin up bro and happy blogaversary! Know this: Quinton will always be your son. She can never ever change that, no matter what she does or how she acts or what she may ask of you next. Now that you have quit the drink (I am proud for you too!) you may begin to see her and her behaviours in a new alcohol free way, but I doubt she will ever chagne at all.

Posted by: Florida Bill on December 19, 2005 02:02 PM
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