Gut Rumbles

December 14, 2005

i'm better... I think

As you can tell from the post below this one, I'm feeling more like my old self today. I arrived home from Statesboro last night at 8:30, fixed a nice supper--- spinach salad (with mushrooms and croutons), fried shrimp (with home-made cocktail sauce), baked potato (with sour cream and chives), and chocolate chip cookies for dessert, all washed down with decaffinated iced tea. I went to bed after supper and slept for eleven straight hours.

Got-dam! I NEEDED that!

Those weathered old bastards at AA were correct when they told me that lack of sleep had a way of curing itself when the body finally just wore out. I'm not going to say that I slept peacefully, because I had tumultuous dreams and the tangled sheets on my bed suggest that I conducted some kind of multiple-partner sex-orgy last night, but I DID sleep. And I feel pretty good today.

At the risk of boring people who don't give a shit, I'm going to admit something. I haven't had a drink of alcohol in 55 days. That may not sound like much, but it's the toughest thing I've ever done in my life.

My daughter called yesterday to see how I was getting along. I pissed and moaned about feeling bad and not being able to sleep. She said, "I know if ANYBODY has the will-power to stay sober, YOU do, Daddy."

I was happy that she felt that way, but I corrected her common misconception. Will power has very little to do with an alcoholic getting sober. If sobriety were just a matter of will-power, like deciding to get up from the couch and turn off the kitchen light, we wouldn't have so many folks drinking themselves to death. Earth People (non-alcoholics) don't understand this truth, but honest-to-Bejus DRUNKS do.

It ain't easy to re-invent yourself.

I'm beginning to feel more sympathy for fat people and cat-lovers now. Maybe THEY have a mental illness similar to alcoholism, where they are DRIVEN to over-eat or own a disgusting animal because their perversion is hard-wired in the brain. They can't HELP themselves.

Wait a minute. I'm getting carried away with evangelical zeal here. I may be able to sympathize with fat people, but CAT-LOVERS? Naw. That's stretching things too far. Cat lovers still need to be dragged off and shot, along with their cats.

I'm trying to re-invent myself, but I have only so much raw material to work with.

Comments And keep it up (the "cat bashing") and I just may have to print out some more photos of the Moran cats (and send them your way)

Posted by: Ruth on December 14, 2005 11:32 AM

I'm fat in part because I overeat trying to relieve myself of allergy symptoms. I've often thought about how much this pattern resembles alcoholism. Medical doctors, of course, refuse to see any connection.

Posted by: Juan Paxety on December 14, 2005 12:06 PM

Congratulations. And Merry Christmas to you and yours - I bet you're giving your daughter and other loved ones the best present possible - a new and improved Rob who'll be arond for a lot longer.

Posted by: Dan on December 14, 2005 12:13 PM

Then there was my father who spent years complaining about my two cats being nothing but worthless sacks of protoplasm which only ran up food and vet bills. Of course I'd find him lying in bed watching the telly with the one curled up in his arms. And then when I moved out with them he found out damn fast what those furballs had been doing to earn their keep. The lawn went from being flat to a half acre of mole run within two weeks.

I only have one cat right now, the stray we felt sorry for, and he's pretty weird, even for a cat. Won't eat, or even try to catch, anything that isn't tuna, (including the mice who come in in the winter) and is scared stiff of the guinea pigs. Rob, I think even you would find watching a 10 pound (supposed) carnivore jump two feet in the air when a two pound pig comes near him pretty amusing. Would I be forgiven for my strange feline if I sent you toe pictures? I've been told I have pretty feet. 8)

I am SO glad to hear that things are going well for you.

Posted by: LibraryGryffon on December 14, 2005 12:20 PM

ya bastid, i love your zeal but i gotta interject. i was averse to cats for YEARS AND YEARS of my 43 on this earth. read clevland amory's the cat who came to stay and just went pffffttt to the whole thing.

i'm not covered in scratches and bites from my kitty. yeah, i got it out of a relationship, go figure but i miss the black lab more than i miss her. me, a dog person, getting the cat.

so WATCH OUT, or you might wind up with a kitten to help you. God has a sense of humor, you know.

hey, keep fighting the good fight. i tried to quit friday. made it till yesterday. see, you got more guts than you know, bro!

we all like your raw material anyway.

a fat diabetic cat owner who is killing himself.

Posted by: richard on December 14, 2005 12:51 PM

It seems to me that re-inventing oneself requires a tremendous amount of will power.

Will power: The strength of will to carry out one's decisions, wishes, or plans.

I think that encompasses a hell of a lot more than "deciding to get up from the couch and turn off the kitchen light."

You have decided to stay sober, wish to stay sober and have plans to stay sober.

Works for me, anyway.

Posted by: Surfie on December 14, 2005 02:35 PM

WIth your imagination you could re invent yourself everyday of the week. This gift you've given yourself is the best thing in the world, you are precious to Us. Keep up the good work. As always, Treasa

Posted by: Treasa on December 14, 2005 03:11 PM

Are you weighing more that a buck o-five?

Posted by: Juliette on December 14, 2005 03:13 PM

Congratulations! It IS a big accomplishment and you should be proud. You're gonna look back in a few years and have a whole different perspective on things. You're an ace, Rob.

Posted by: Kelly on December 14, 2005 03:36 PM

Keep it up. You give me hope that my uncle may one day be able to remain sober too, (although, I believe you have much more "raw material to work with" then him).

I owe you a red toenail pic.

Posted by: FishOrMan on December 14, 2005 04:22 PM

Beware of saying "Never!" to anything in early sobriety. That ol' Higher Power just laughs and laughs when He hears that. In 5 years you may find yourself attending a household of feline companions, just to make you re-think things once again.

Posted by: Stu on December 14, 2005 04:32 PM

Hey, Rob, I've noticed that your writing has gotten tighter, 'crisper' if you will. While always good, you seemed kind of fuzzy, before. Now it just snaps. Good work.

Posted by: Bane on December 14, 2005 06:21 PM

As one of those "old bastards" (female variety), I'm loving telling you "I TOLDJA SO" !! And as a former cat hater, I now have FOUR!. lol

Posted by: Maggie45 on December 14, 2005 09:53 PM

I wonder what would happen at the Crackerbox on Christmas morning if someone left a cute little kitten with a bow on it outside your door....
Let's do a Dax-like poll on THAT one...
Does he
A. Take it in - somebody's got to look after the damn thing
B. Leave it out there
C. Run out the back door to buy a pit bull
D. Try and remember where the hell his gun is...

I vote big softy...

Posted by: Lisa on December 14, 2005 10:08 PM

She said, "I know if ANYBODY has the will-power to stay sober, YOU do, Daddy."

She's right -- smart girl.

Posted by: McGehee on December 15, 2005 08:49 AM

F*ck cats...I'm going on just about 1095 days and still don't understand cat lovers...

Posted by: rosebudcassidy on December 15, 2005 01:38 PM
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