Gut Rumbles

August 16, 2005


One of the few wimmen I ever knew in my life who WASN'T afraid of "risk" was my mama. It took a lot to scare her. Even terminal cancer didn't frighten her. Risk? She married a coal miner. She never hyperventilated and developed the vapors, even after having a son such as ME.

What is it about wimmen and this "risk" thing? Go back and google Al Gore's speeches from the 2000 election. See how many times he worked the word "risk" or "risky" into his speeches. Know why? It was to court the female vote.

The plan worked, too. He didn't win the election, but he got 55% of the female vote. Got-dam! That's pathetic, in MY humble opinion.

Wimmen fear risk. Tell 'em something is "dangerous," and most of 'em will believe you and piss their panties. The hormones kick in and their brain goes away. DANGER??? Gotta STOP THAT!!! It's risky!!!

Sweet Bejus. Getting out of bed every day is risky. Taking a shower is risky. Driving a car is risky.

Of course, growing a 200-pound ass that won't fit through a normal door is risky, too, but wimmen seem to have no trouble doing THAT. I guess the ass is behind 'em so they don't mind 'em. It's those cigarettes 25' away that bother them.

Wimmen. If they didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on those idiots.


Personally, I learned fear from a man. I also gained more fear after seeing some of the injuries my kids, their friends, and husband have come home with..again, a learned response. Now, I give up. I just try to get them to stay safe enough to stay off the evening news and out of the emergency room. And I have a very complete first aid kit on hand at all times.

And, I'm the only one not really allowed to go out after dark alone. It's not because "I'm" afraid....explain that one...

But, in this particular case that you're speaking of, the person in question was merely trying to generate hits for her site and thought that posting inflaming comments would achieve her goal. I'm sure it would..but posting thoughtful comments achieves the same means..that's what happens when people are only thinking of themselves.

Posted by: Kelly on August 16, 2005 02:43 PM

You can kiss my risky ass, Acidman:

1. I barefoot waterski. I actually busted an eardrum doing that and waited 2 days before seeing a doctor. The ONLY reason I went then was I woke up with a pillow soaked in blood and pus.

2. I sliced my leg wide open about a month ago. I went to the ER, the wait was too long, and I went home. I drove by myself the next morning to get the stitches, only after stopping to get some gas and coffee at the convenience store on the way. It took 11 or 12 stitches to suture that gash.

3. I boogie board and surf in the ocean with SHARKS! and RISKY waves.

4. I have ridden more motorcycles than I care to count. I'm itchin' for one again.

5. After my second abdominal surgery, I was writhing in pain for 3 weeks. Again, I went to the ER only to find it packed. I promptly left again. I ended up just treating my own damn self.


Posted by: Surfie on August 16, 2005 02:59 PM

I really wish you wouldn't lump all women into the same category you know...

If I was 'scared of risk' I'd have given up long ago, My ass is the same size as it was when I was 18, I smoke 20 a day and can't use the 'excuse' of crazy hormonal stuff.

D'you want another fight over this or are you gonna start using the words 'some' or 'most' when applied to women? ;)

ps, If you do, can it wait for a bit as I've got to go out for a little while :)

Posted by: Misty on August 16, 2005 03:06 PM

Speaking of Sam....what happened to her blog?

Posted by: hcky on August 16, 2005 03:45 PM

Hey, wimmen! I didn't run the "focus group" studies on wimmen's reaction to "risk." Al Gore's handlers did.

The results are obvious. If YOU are an exception, you only prove the rule.

Look around. Then, tell me that MOST wimmen don't fear risk. Except for when it comes to getting pregnant and hauling a husband into divorce court.

Posted by: Acidman on August 16, 2005 04:01 PM

Would these risk fearing women also include the women who make up twenty percent of our Armed Forces or are they also exceptions?

Posted by: Zappatista on August 16, 2005 04:05 PM

I agree that the exceptions prove the rule, I don't mind risk so much because I'm single and kidless, but once that mommy intuition kicks in its a whole different ball game. My sister went from riding motorcycles to refusing to jaywalk after having kids.

Posted by: Alli on August 16, 2005 05:20 PM

Alli, I'm not sure this is something that is specific to either sex. It could be considered growing up and sensible people don't have children until they themselves are adults.

I know that after I had kids and was actually responsible for somebody other than myself I modified my behavior. It wasn't conscious or an overnight thing but it wasn't long before I started to wonder if free climbing that wall was the best idea and if maybe I should consider a rope.

I still ride, but I find myself skipping a couple of stops on the way home and don't feel compelled to explore "just how fast this fucker will go" each time I sit on a new machine.

Posted by: Zappatista on August 16, 2005 05:30 PM

I see that we're in the feces stirring mood again.

Posted by: Juliette on August 16, 2005 05:31 PM

It all depends on how you want to live when you hit 50. Impaired or vibrant.

A lot of risk-taking behavior in the 30's and 40's leaves permanent damage that you have to live with the rest of your life.

I tell my kids, "you only have one brain and one liver, take care of it, cause there is no reasonable replacement." What I've learned since then, is that most body organs need good care. Women tell that to their kids - a man will tell them to bust loose.

Posted by: Bonita on August 16, 2005 05:50 PM

Yeah but impairments have stories, vibrant is full of missed/almost stories. Its not how long you live, its how well.

Posted by: Alli on August 16, 2005 05:59 PM

I'm not afraid of risk, shit, I have more balls than most men. And I don't give a rats ass what you think about it.
You are very crabby lately, you need to get laid.

Posted by: livey on August 16, 2005 06:03 PM

I have to comment on...
"If they didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on those idiots"
That's kind of harsh, even for you -- calling all women idiots; there are a lot of women out there who read, and agree with a lot of what you write, or just enjoy your stories (and even the rants). Usually, coming here makes me grin, laugh hysterically (even if I don't agree with you sometimes), or makes me feel touched when you talk about your parents or your son. This just felt mean.

Posted by: Lisa on August 16, 2005 07:01 PM

Al Gore didn't put "risk" or "risky" into his speeches to pander to the woman's vote...

You don't have to be a woman, as I've said before, to be a pussy! Gore believed all the crap he was puking out.

Posted by: Maggie on August 16, 2005 07:13 PM

Wow, first time here and ALL the buttons are pushed ROFL Yeah, women suck, yeah they're fearful, but then again, there are some of us who kick ass and take names. Who run the gauntlet and say "fuck you." At least take a sec to recognize (besides mama) that there are some of us out there who will take a hit and keep on rollin' with the blood in the eye and a handgun on the hip.

Posted by: LL on August 16, 2005 08:15 PM

wtf is Al Gore, and what does he have to do with MY life?

Posted by: Misty on August 16, 2005 08:15 PM

Now you know, Women have 95% of the money and all of the pussy (for streight guys) and they still ain't satisfied.

Posted by: scrapiron on August 16, 2005 11:54 PM

PS, Can't get pregnant and don't want to - have no intention of getting married, and scrapiron - what money?

Posted by: Misty on August 17, 2005 03:36 AM

Look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder and you will find Acidbrain's picture next to the definition. That is why he is only concerned with what affects HIM and HIS offspring and no one else (hence the hypocritical outlook just like G.W. Bush's). His occasional rants about wimmen as evil reveal a tremendous anger at women and so many of his posts reveal an unusual closeness to his mother that borders on dysfunctional. His insecurities are met with overcompensation and a need to have control over others in some form or another. He masks a true sense of failure and what he hasn't been able to control, depression and tiredness. Let me know how far off base I am Acidbrain. Set the record straight.


Posted by: PJ on August 17, 2005 03:48 AM

Over here in the UK, PJ's are what keep little boys warm in bed.

Posted by: Colin_in_the_UK on August 17, 2005 11:06 AM

I consider myself a very reasonable women. No fear of risk, no fear of much of anything. My heart is broken that you "lump" all women together, your Momma the exception, of course. My theory is that Momma is the ONLY true women you ever knew. How sad, as there are many of us out there.

Posted by: Anastasia on August 17, 2005 12:49 PM

Not me! Not me!

I personally have no problem accepting true generalizations. The exceptions don't disprove the trend.

Posted by: Brett on August 17, 2005 04:59 PM

I know I'm generally not a risk taker, and I'm not ashamed to say it! Who gives a royal flying ass if I'm too chicken shit to jump out of an airplane, drive fast on the interstate or bungee jump? I am boring as hell and I even like watching reruns of Little House on the Prairie for entertainmnet. I'm not about to try to change some grouchy old man's mind about "wimmen" and all you other gals are wasting your breath trying to brag about your death defying behaviors.

Posted by: Renee on August 17, 2005 08:05 PM

Renee's comment is the best one!

Posted by: Juliette on August 17, 2005 09:46 PM

Second Juliette's emotion.

Posted by: Indigo on August 18, 2005 12:19 AM

PJ, you silly fucking liberal, I wonder if you could handle getting shot in the foot? Murry

Posted by: Murry on August 18, 2005 01:16 AM

Murry, you ignorant fucking right wing nutjob. I wonder if you could handle getting my size 12 boot up your ass?


Posted by: PJ on August 18, 2005 03:52 AM
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