Gut Rumbles

August 13, 2005

I'm ready to go--- anytime

I once took a lot of pride in my body. Even at the age of 50, I could walk young bucks into the ground on stairs. I was tough.

I don't feel that way anymore. I can barely hobble to my mailbox and back every day. The vertigo is getting worse and I'm damn nearly afraid to drive a car anymore.

The swelling in my feet came and went--- then it came back again. I can't put on a pair of shoes today. I hurt all over and I think I'm becoming dependent on pain medication to get me through a day. This ain't no fun at all.

I can't walk down to the creek to shoot anymore. I can't make it there and back, even though it's a beautiful place. My mind still feels sharp, but my body is quitting on me.

I ain't livin' long like this.


yeah, I know. But I figure we all gotta croak sometime and it is what we do with the time we got left that counts. Damn few of will make a mark big enough that anyone but our grandkids will ever remember us and there kids will just say "Grandpa Guy? I guess he was a craky old fart." But, what the fuck. There have been a billion people on earth that no one has ever heard of and I will be no different. But you could be-write that greatsouthern novel about growing up and getting screwed, blewed, and tatooed in southern Georgia. You have the ability and story to tell. maybe a hundred years from now someone can say, yeah i read his book. he was a great writer but a cranky old fuck. But at least they remember you.

Posted by: GUYK on August 13, 2005 04:26 PM

Can I have your new 8 track mixing board?

Posted by: rightisright on August 13, 2005 04:39 PM

Count your blessings, now. You haven't hit 60 yet. It gets worse...sorry.

Posted by: Bonita on August 13, 2005 04:45 PM

I know you like to think of yourself as old, but you are truly too young to be falling apart already. Pain when walking may be due to "intermittent claudication", and it, plus the swollen feet, may indicate a heart and/or vascular condition. You may be able to feel a whole lot better just by taking a loop diuretic daily, but you need to go see a good doctor to get examined first. Please go, for the sake of Quinton.

Posted by: Renee on August 13, 2005 05:27 PM

Go the doctor for your sake too. You are much too young to not be able to walk to the mailbox.

Posted by: Kim on August 13, 2005 06:00 PM

Get off your ass and exercise! I know it hurts at first, but in the long run you will feel better. If you want some help with some good heart pounding exercise, make a trip to Wisconsin before it gets cold ya old fart.

Posted by: livey on August 13, 2005 06:04 PM

Livey, you need a BOB.

Battery Operated Boyfriend.

Posted by: rightisright on August 13, 2005 06:08 PM

She has one. And you need to learn manners, wrong is wrong. Rob...we talked about this, GO TO THE DOCTOR!! Don't wanna drive? I'll take ya, Nathan and I are available this week, Noni starts school right down the road from you...First, when ya wanna go?

Posted by: Kellie on August 13, 2005 06:13 PM

I recently started reading your rant and I cannot tell you how much I've been entertained. I feel as though I know you after reading your wonderful prose, ( I am being kind) but I just can't imagine that you want to give-up-the-ghost.

I truly haven't ' walked a mile in your moccassins, but your zest for life and great seafood tells me that you ain't ready to go yet.

Stick around Acidman; I'm just getting to know you.

Posted by: Roger .45 on August 13, 2005 06:57 PM

You go ,and the troll has won...

Posted by: dom on August 13, 2005 07:37 PM

Damn rightisright, I was talking about splitting firewood, wtf were you thinking?


Posted by: livey on August 13, 2005 08:05 PM

Don't talk like that Rob! Come on man.

I wonder how long it'll take for one of your trolls to come by and say that you're fishing for compliments. I've giving them a pre-emptive "Fuck Off!"

Take care of yourself A-man. Go to the damn doctor for crying out loud! I don't like it either but damn, sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

Posted by: Leuthen on August 13, 2005 08:20 PM

Oops. I've = I'm

Posted by: Leuthen on August 13, 2005 08:20 PM

One thing I think might help you is swimming. Just go do some easy strokes and nothing too fast, I think you'd be suprised at how much good it actually does you.

I know that you live out in the middle of nowhere, and you problably have no access to it, but internal martial arts like Tai Chi and Ba Gua are the best medicine anyone could ever take. I've seen elderly chinese that can do the splits because they do internal martial arts. I've told my dad to start doing it, and I personally guarentee the foot exercises would sort out your swelling better than any pill ever could.

And for chrissakes don't go jogging (although it sounds like I don't need to tell you that!). That just churns all your guts inside you and it screws up your joints something terrible.

Posted by: Roy on August 13, 2005 08:49 PM


HEY, I resemble that remark, Livey.

Posted by: rightisright on August 13, 2005 09:44 PM

And your doctor's appontment is when............???? I am an OB nurse. My stepson is in Iraq. Before he left, I told him that he had better not get hurt or he'd be looking at ME as his nurse. He asked ne how long it had been since I had done anything other than OB. I told him 18 years (and he was 19 years old at the time). He said "Oh, shit! I'd better take care of myself!" So, I'll make the same offer to you. I know lots about birthin' babies. It has been a loooooong time since I took care of crusty old farts, though. Don't make me have to come down there!!!!!!! If I can handle laboring women, I can handle you!

Seriously, though, please get your ass to the doctor!

Posted by: Robin on August 13, 2005 11:22 PM

Rob, I feel for you. I really do.
I hurt like hell from a broken back years ago. At a few weeks shy of 51, it's getting worse and worse.
HOWEVER, you can go to any doctor, get any treatment you please.
I can't.
I make bullshit money, no insurance, and sometimes miss a day or two (unpaid... sick pay what? What's that?) because I can't get the fuck outta bed.
Arnold Palmer's pitch on TV for the motorized wheelchair is beginning to look good.
To paraphrase Danny Glover (piss on his communist manifesto) in Lethal Weapon, "I'm too young for this shit". Really.

Pain is a constant. I'm used to it. Unmedicated. I sure would like a creek to walk down to and look at tho. While I'm young enough to walk.
Getting old is a bitch, ain't it? Especially when it's a few, like 20, years too early on the body?

Posted by: Horrabin on August 14, 2005 12:42 AM

... damn, man... give me a call if you need anything...

Posted by: Eric on August 14, 2005 07:36 AM

OMG, I hadn't been here to visit in awhile (okay, a couple of years) and this is what I come back to??? Where's the tough old mean bastard I knew and loved???

Hopefully this was just a bad day....I'll keep reading... :)

Posted by: Lisa on August 14, 2005 08:42 AM

My feet swole up week before last after I went on an unplanned hike and decided the shoes I wore on that hike didn't treat my feet well. So I started in again wearing a pair of Rockports I'd had for a couple of years but not worn in about a year.

My left foot swelled up like it'd been bee-stung, and stayed that way.

Yesterday I bought a pair of Dr. Scholls sneakers and after wearing them for only a few hours the swelling is almost gone.

What shoes are you wearing, Rob?

Posted by: McGehee on August 14, 2005 09:06 AM

Whatever is ailing you, IT IS NOT OLD AGE.

The leg swelling might be a number of things. Go see a good doctor and get this straightened out.

I remember how "old" I felt when I was in my forties. My teeth hurt and I was out of shape. I was losing interesting in life. After a couple of root canals and some exercise and weight lost, I felt fine.

I'll never forget how old I felt in my early 30's when I realized I was losing interesting in women. I thought I must be going through some early male menopause. My "problem" was solved when I got my eyes checked and got a pair of glasess.


Posted by: joel on August 14, 2005 09:21 AM

I don't know if a doctor is as necessary as a good lovin' woman. It sure works for me. I totally got saved by one.

Oh and if you do go to Wisconsin (beautiful state btw) please stop here in Ohio on your way and I'll cook you up a fine mess of Bass, Bluegill and frog legs fresh from the pond out back. Maybe even some snapping turtle soup if we're lucky. And yep, I'll have some of that Shiner Bock on hand as well.

Posted by: marcl on August 14, 2005 11:39 AM

I hope you do it up right, like my brother did. He was ready to hang up his tennis shoes a day or so before he died and he did go pleasantly (I hope) in his sleep with his family by his side and his wit intact. That's the only way to go: When you are darn good and ready.

Posted by: Joni on August 14, 2005 06:09 PM
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