Gut Rumbles

July 21, 2005

pet owners

A lot of pet owners claim to love their darlin' pets, but they don't take care of them. They ALSO seem to believe that because THEY love their pets, you should, too. Well--- I DON'T.

Sam and Stacey came home while they were here to see me sitting in the grass repairing my mailbox. (At first they were frightened. They thought I had fallen down and couldn't get up.) One of my asshole neighbors takes his dog for a "walk" (read: go shit and piss in somebody else's yard) every day and that dog had pissed on my mailbox so many times that the legs were rusting off of it.

I found an old pair of horse-shoe stakes in my garage and made a jackleg repair to my mailbox by hammering the stakes into the ground and attaching them as new legs for my box. It ain't pretty, but it'll at least keep the mailbox up for a while.

Two days ago, I came home from the store and CAUGHT that inconsiderate fucker AND his floppy-eared basset hound doing their thing. The dog had its leg cocked sideways and was pissing all over my new repair on my mailbox while the guy stood there acting as if nothing was happening. The dog was on a leash.

I jumped out of my car and confronted the asshole. I told him flat-out: "Mister, I like dogs as well as any man does. But you'd better be ready to buy me a new mailbox or haul a dead dog home if you EVER let that shitass piss in my yard again. It's YOUR dog, so let it piss and shit in YOUR yard. I've got no problem with that. But if I EVER see that dog pissing on my mailbox again, I'm going to shoot it. If you don't believe me, TRY ME."

He hauled ass, looking over his shoulder fearfully.

THAT'S what pisses me off about a lot of pet owners. It's not the PET that makes me angry--- it's the total disregard some pet-owners have for other people's property. Would you turn your CHILDREN out and tell them to go piss and shit in a neighbor's yard to save money because you didn't have to flush YOUR toilet so often? Some pet owners seem to think that way.

For those of you who want to know, Oddball went back to the pound from where she came. I couldn't break that dog from too many feral habits, and I wasn't going to inflict that failure on my neighbors. I hope to hell that chewing, shitting, disobedient, digging, barking-at-nothing, garbage-can-raiding animal ended up in the gas chamber. That's where she belonged.

If I sound harsh, that's because I am. Sam and Stacey found fossilized Oddball shit in the back of my CLOSETS when they were cleaning up my Crackerbox. That dog KNEW it would get in trouble if it shit in the house where I could find it, so it went off to hide it. Did a good job, too.

I got rid of that dog.

I damn sure never led it around on a leash and let it fuck up somebody else's stuff on PURPOSE. Too many pet "owners" do that.


Lots of people don't get it. Having a pet is like having a child. It's a responsibility and a job. But then again there are alot of people who treat their kids like animals.

Posted by: gravdigr on July 21, 2005 04:26 PM


I got two indoor cats....and a sweet little Sheltand Sheepdog (mini collie) who has never left my property. (And she gets upset when any of us do, as its the herding instinct, I am told) She stays put.

She is such a homebody that people assume I have one of those invisible fences (I dont)

But as much as love my own animals, I dont want anyone elses trespassing, killing chipmunks, birds, etc.....and messing up my property.

Keep your dogs and cats home. Period.

Posted by: Ruth on July 21, 2005 04:27 PM

You got that right, boss. Bet that freakin' dog lover was a homo too. Ana liberal.

Ya gotta standup to these homo liberals or they be taken over the whole freakin world.

Posted by: Earl on July 21, 2005 04:38 PM

Remind me not to piss on your mailbox...or hubcap.

Posted by: Elisson on July 21, 2005 04:39 PM

The mainstream media in this country are dominated by liberals and homos.

I was informed of this fact by Rush Limbaugh. And Thomas Sowell.
And Ann Coulter. And Rich Lowry. And Bill O'Reilly. And William Safire.
And Robert Novak. And William F. Buckley, Jr. And George Will.
And John Gibson. And Michelle Malkin. And David Brooks. And Tony Snow.
And Tony Blankely. And Fred Barnes. And Britt Hume. And Larry Kudlow.
And Sean Hannity. And David Horowitz. And William Kristol. And Hugh Hewitt.
And Oliver North. And Joe Scarborough. And Pat Buchanan. And John McLaughlin.
And Cal Thomas. And Joe Klein. And James Kilpatrick. And Tucker Carlson.
And Deroy Murdock. And Michael Savage. And Charles Krauthammer.
And Stephen Moore. And Alan Keyes. And Gary Bauer. And Mort Kondracke.
And Andrew Sullivan. And Nicholas von Hoffman. And Neil Cavuto.
And Matt Drudge. And Mike Rosen. And Dave Kopel. And John Caldara....................

Posted by: Ralph on July 21, 2005 04:40 PM

Where's Beth now to psycho-analize the statement that people who let their dogs piss on their neighbors mailboxes are butt-pirates.

Posted by: gravdigr on July 21, 2005 04:48 PM

I am with you all the way on this one! We have 3..yes 3 big dogs. But, we try to be very careful about being considerate of others when it comes to our animals!

If we have company over the dogs go outside. Because even though I love my dogs...I know not everyone else will!

When we take them for walks they are NOT allowed to shit or piss on ANYONE else's lawn!! We walk them on the side of the road until we hit the open fields where they are allowed to walk around and do their business without fear of it bothering anyone else.
We NEVER let them go at a park or anywhere else unless we have baggies to clean it up. There is nothing more irritating then to take your kids to the park and have to dodge Dog Shit!

If our dogs are outside and they begin to bark too much, their asses get hauled inside...or they get reprimanded (which usually shuts them up!) I DO NOT abide annoying barking dogs!

These are NOT tough things to do, it's simple responsible pet ownership! Or in simpler terms...NOT BEING A COMPLETE ASSWIPE!

Posted by: Wendi on July 21, 2005 04:59 PM

I agree with you in principal but why shoot a perfectly good hound for something his master is causing. Shoot the got-dam idiot that brings the dog over to piss and shit in your yard and on your mailbox. Better yet, yank the got-dam mailbox out of the ground and beat the fuck out of the idiot while his dog watches. I think they would both get the idea then. I love basset hounds. I have 3 of them. They are only allowed to shit and piss on my fenced in property.

Posted by: assrot on July 21, 2005 06:08 PM


it's a tough thing to do, to get rid of a dog. I'm looking at doing the same, as the dog my dad had has now become my own due to his death.

The thing is, she's a sweet Springer Spaniel purebred, and she's been my shadow for at least two months, but, now that I've got to get on with my life, and there is property to be sold so us six kids can receive our inheritence, I'm looking at giving her to one of the brothers.

It's going to be a little difficult to do.

Posted by: KenS on July 21, 2005 07:46 PM

So here was a neighbor, and his animal, that had annoyed you for a while. Then you caught them in the act.

And what did you do? You WARNED them, which is right and proper. Under the circumstances, I think the guy should have properly repaired your mailbox. But I notice you didn't start by blowing anybody's brains out.

My shitty neighbor has a big dog that gets out and tears stuff up. I don't love my neighbor's dog; that dog is a waste of oxygen. But I don't have a problem; the dog stays away from my place, because he's scared of me. The first time he came around, I gave him the hairy eyeball and started walking toward him, fast. He ruffed up for a second, then ran away with his tail between his legs. The second time he came around, I did the same. After that, for the last couple years, that dog has stayed on the other side of the street. The hairy eyeball might not work on every dog, but it worked on this one.

So, has that cat you shot with the pellet gun been back?

Posted by: dipnut on July 21, 2005 08:32 PM

I'm with Assrot.
I carry those lovely little blue baggies where ever I go when I have have my dogs out for a walk.
NOTHING pisses me off more than some dumbfuck letting their dog (or cat who WILL become coyote chow in my 'hood) run around to shit on every one's lawn.

Posted by: Maeve on July 21, 2005 08:35 PM

And Maeve, when your dog sees you putting his poop into a plastic bag (and then taking it home) well, you know he just HAS to be thinking, "If I'd known she wanted to SAVE IT, I would have shit on the carpet before we left the house".....

Posted by: Ruth on July 21, 2005 08:46 PM

RE: Beth the phony psychologist
After reading Beth's comments about cat shooting a few posts down I couldn't resist commenting. From what she's written on various topics I would bet just about anything that she is not a psychologist. At most it sounds like she's had a few undergrad psych classes or maybe even has a BS in psychology. Although there is some variation by state, a person generally needs a Ph.D. or Psy.D. in order to be called a "psychologist." People with undergrad and masters degrees are limited to job titles such as counselor, therapist, or social worker if they work in that type of field.

I have a BA and MA in psychology and in the past I've done some HR consulting work. I wish I would have been able to officially call myself a psychologist because it would have increased my hourly rate.

Posted by: Kirk on July 22, 2005 10:32 AM


We once had the neighbor whom prohibited his dog from spoiling his grass but it was fair game for it to go in any other yard. Our young daughter was invited to swim in their pool one afternoon. I put her life jacket on her, walked her across the street and made sure there was adult supervision. I also reminded my daughter to have supervision while crossing the street when she returned home.

As the story goes, my daughter asked permission to use their bathroom and she had to "poo." She was told she couldn't go inside. She asked for assistance crossing the street and was told to hold it. She got out of the pool and shit in their yard. She was the neighborhood hero after that and received a supervised escort home.

If you can't beat em, join em!

Posted by: Susie T on July 22, 2005 02:05 PM

File this under "Couldn't Resist"

, , , ,

Iraqi citizens, after years of being pissed upon by Saddam, and 3 years of a lack of bladder control by the bush administration . . .

are willing to shoot the pissing dog, be he Saddam or bush.

After all, it is their yard, not Saddam's or Bush's

Rob--will you get this, or will you suck the Bush dick some more?

Posted by: jb on July 22, 2005 11:47 PM

Ralphie Boy

10 years ago that was an impressive list of people--today they are a boring list of little dictators.

Telling you to obey government. Uh, big shit. LOL

People telling you to obey those YOU are supposed to rule, but YOU let THEM rule you.

Hope is ever present, but stupidity is forever!

Which are you? Hopeful, I hope.

Posted by: jb on July 22, 2005 11:59 PM
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