Gut Rumbles

July 21, 2005

my birds

The young mockingbirds that grew up in my back yard are old enough now to start flying around and feeding on their own. Mama and Daddy mocks still hang around to teach the youngun's, but they're kinda backing off now to allow the little birds to fend for themselves.

I find that a beautiful sight to see.

I am called a "cat-killer" by certain trolls, but I've never killed a cat on purpose in my life. I've hit a few on the road, but I'll be damned if I'll put my car in a ditch and risk my own life to keep from hitting a fucking CAT in the road. If someone allegedly "loved" that cat, they wouldn't have allowed it to be standing in the road at night.

Those birds I see today would not be alive if I HAD NOT popped a cat out of that tree when I saw the sumbitch climbing to eat them. I didn't KILL the cat (I know now that I SHOULD have. If I'm going to be called a "cat-killer," I should at least EARN that reputation.), but I did run it out of that tree.

And I have birds to show for that action today. "Animal Cruelty" to ME, would have been letting that cat eat those young birds.


If I were you, (thank God I am NOT!) I'd smash those birds with an ax handle or the butt of one of your guns.

It would be keeping with your character, Like blowing toads out of your air rifle and smashing ants. These are behaviors that psychologists (like myself) warn about. Cruelty to animals being an indicator of sociopathic (serial killers, et al.) pathologies.

Remember Jeffery Dahlmer? You could be just like him if only your ate the birds while bashing the cats, nailed to a wall, with a ball peen hammer.

Whatever happened to that pretty little dog you got for Quinton and his playmate? Eat her did you?
Roasted like ribs? Washed down with good old fashioned sweet tea and cornbread?

Posted by: Beth on July 21, 2005 09:33 AM

You must be a terrible psychologist than.....either that or about half the population fits into a serial killer profile....I saw my father who is the sweetest man on this earth shoot a dog dead in our yard because he bit my brother...and my husband's grandfather absolutely loves the birds that flies into his yard and he'll kill a cat quicker than snot on account of those birds and he to is a very gentle man...............

Posted by: Sandy on July 21, 2005 10:01 AM

If this is the Beth I know, she is SO SCREWED up that even her "issues" have "issues"....

Posted by: Ruth on July 21, 2005 10:12 AM

Here we have proof that sometimes psychologists can be the balmiest of the lot.

Posted by: Ernie G on July 21, 2005 10:29 AM

Good lord! I spend about $50/month on sunflower seed and bird feed and dearly LOVE seeing the occasional hawk swoop on my very busy birdfeeders. Sometimes the hawk gets lucky.

And I take some measure of enjoyment in using a Gamo air rifle to punch holes in the stupid squirrels who try to filch my sunflower seed. I say 'stupid' because if they don't bolt when I crack open the sliding glass door, they're dead meat.

I guess next thing I know, I'll be buying a freezer for storing my neighbors. Sure hope I don't get mad pyschologist's disease from eating their brains.

Posted by: Arcs on July 21, 2005 10:55 AM

Beth is a dumbass, you never roast dog and its hush puppies not corn bread.

Posted by: james old guy on July 21, 2005 10:59 AM

My dear Chablis. I don't claim to be a psychologist, I truely am one. That's why I'm so smart and insightful about devient human behavior as is so often illustrated on this blog. Rob Smith is merely one among many. I'm surprised you haven't already figured that out on your own. Your lack of observation and empathy is indicative of what we pyschologists call small dick syndrome. There are few remedies for this pathetic disorder, but most sufferers find some relief leaving inane, irrelevant and senseless comments on other people's blogs.

In your case, you might also try to find a job, or other useful activity that would serve to get your head out of your ass, and focus on something else for a change.

Let me know if I can help you further.

Posted by: Beth on July 21, 2005 11:03 AM

yup, its definitely the same Beth I know. Petty, small and ludicrous....(no hope for her)

Even Dr Phil would suggest that she be dragged off and shot...

Posted by: Ruth on July 21, 2005 11:14 AM

So Beth you can read a persons blog and figure out their entire psyche? Wow your good. How much do you charge an hour? Because I think I might need your help. I shot a cat yesterday right in the head it was disease ridden and hanging around my house.You could treat me via e-mail. What do you think can you help me before I move on to humans? Because I know alot of disease ridden humans!

Posted by: gravdigr on July 21, 2005 11:15 AM

Hmmm.....Beth sounds like a morbidly obese androgynist who flunked out after one semester of Psyche 101.

Posted by: Ed on July 21, 2005 11:24 AM

She is overweight...but she blamed it on a glandular thing (you know that old excuse)

Posted by: Ruth on July 21, 2005 11:27 AM

Aaaaah I see...well I'll tell ya what my dear sweet daddy says about MOST psychologist, etc...they go to school to study so they can learn how to fix themselves. :)

Posted by: Sandy on July 21, 2005 11:42 AM

HOT DAMN,, Chablis is a chick with a dick. I learn something new everyday. I already knew Beth was a piss poor troll.

Posted by: james old guy on July 21, 2005 11:51 AM

Sorry about the typo dear. But you really should talk to Rob. Spell checkers were invented a long time ago and are available for most up-scale blog commenting systems. He may need to spent a penny or two of that wonderful abundance--"MORE THAN I'LL EVER NEED IN A LIFETIME" he has stashed. Lord knows, though, he'd be far better off if he had that job he got fired from.

People who pick out spelling errors instead of focusing on what's being said are, in my professional experience, frustrated, low IQ, low social class, angry women who spend too much time at home alone.

Now I could be wrong about this, but I am, after all, a professional psychologist. I get paid for what I do. You may have seen my column in magazines and newspapers where I critique and analyze
the more inane, vitriolic and sociopathological discourse in weblogs and on-line forums.

It's a discouraging and often frightful job--but I'm paid well and is often, as is the case with you, very amusing.

Time to shave the upper lip dear? Bibibi

Posted by: Beth on July 21, 2005 11:51 AM

Who is this bitch Beth?

Damn Rob, you sure do attract 'em.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on July 21, 2005 12:12 PM

Sad, Chablis won't be posting anymore. Here's the link showing common use (in my profession) of the term sociopathological.

Chablis is as good a case as one can find of a low iq white woman too stupid to know she's sociopathologically stoopit! Ha! Howdya like that spelling?


Posted by: Beth on July 21, 2005 12:52 PM

"People who pick out spelling errors instead of focusing on what's being said are, in my professional experience, frustrated, low IQ, low social class, angry women who spend too much time at home alone."

I get paid (pretty well, too) to pick out spelling (and other) errors instead of focusing on what's being said, and I'm none of those things you mention, and I don't do it at home alone (though I'd DEFINITELY prefer to).

Also, truely should be truly.

I'm now afraid of "psychologists", very afraid...

Posted by: Jane on July 21, 2005 01:11 PM

Never had much use for psycholoists-they usually don't practise what they preach. They are supposed to know all this shit about human nature and how people act and react. Then they wind up pissing someone off to get what they want. We rednecks know that to catch a bee use sugar-not vineger.

Posted by: GUYK on July 21, 2005 03:00 PM

Dead On
linked it for friday

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on July 21, 2005 10:07 PM

it was the next one 'ice and desire'

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on July 21, 2005 10:09 PM

"Remember Jeffery Dahlmer? You could be just like him if only your ate the birds while bashing the cats, nailed to a wall, with a ball peen hammer."

Oh yeah, and murder a little boy and have sex with his corpse. THEN you could be just like Dahmer.

You may be a psychologist, but you are sure as hell no logician, Beth.

True statement: all serial killers abused animals.

False statement: all animal abusers become serial killers.

For the record, I once threw a cat about 25 feet because it scratched my weeks-old nephew. Tell me what a rotten person I am, Beth.

Posted by: Tim Higgins on July 22, 2005 02:23 AM

So then .... every person who buys a hunting license is a serial killer? They like killinbg animals ... so then they must graduate to humans in your universe....

Non sequitur, Beth. Try to not be a pathetic PETA retard.

Posted by: Kristopher on July 22, 2005 12:53 PM
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