Gut Rumbles

July 06, 2005

i don't believe it!

I went out to conduct some business this morning (part of which involved buying another mandolin--- a genuine Washburn, from my friend willy and I also found a FINE Washburn guitar for jimbo. I talked to him on the phone and told him that if he didn't like my selection, I would buy it back from him for the price he paid. Hell--- I came close to buying the thing myself. I LIKED it. I believe that he will, too. And if he can beat the price ANYWHERE, I want to know where he did it.)

Anyway, when I arrived back at the Crackerbox, I didn't recognize where I was. Sam and Stacey CLEANED MY HOUSE!!! They had vacuum cleaners, carpet-steamers and all kinds of elbow-grease going on and the place looked... downright respectable. I've TOLD you people before that wimmen have a "cleaning gene" that men simply do not possess, and I have proof in my house now.

They were on one hell of a roll. Now, they want to paint my walls to get rid of all the dirty fingerprints Quinton and Jack left there (okay... some of those fingerprints are MINE, too) and put up attractive borders in my bathrooms. Change the shower curtains, get some new towels and re-paint my front door. They've been watching a show called "Redecorating On a Dime" and they intend to practice what they've learned.

I am NOT going to stand in their way. In fact, I asked them what they thought it might cost to finish their plans and Sam replied, "Daddy, we can do it for about $100 dollars." I gave them $200 and sent their happy asses to Home Depot.

I didn't ASK the girls to do this. I told them that they were on vacation, so they should enjoy their time here. Piss on going to work for me. Go to the beach. Go visit Mommie. Go have some fun.

Stacey said, "You don't understand, Rob. This IS fun for us and we want to do it."

The only thing they INSISTED upon is that I keep it looking good once they finish all their drudge-work. I agreed.

Just Damn! I once offered $1,000 to a dead-beat whiner to do exactly what those girls are doing for free, and the whiner didn't want the job. Fuck him. Sam and Stacey make a good team and the Crackerbox ALREADY looks 500% better than it did yesterday.

Painting should begin in about an hour.


I share your enthusiasm!! I know what that means to you! And, its true, most women love to tend the nest. It is creative and satisfying. Bless them, Stacy and Sam...

Posted by: Bonita on July 6, 2005 02:45 PM

If the girls REALLY want to have some fun, I'll fly them to Smith County, Texas and pay them 1,000.00 to scrub around here!

Posted by: robert on July 6, 2005 02:53 PM

Good gawd, that's just what I've been doing (not by choice, however) on my week's home vacation! Right now I have new baseboards painted and drying, ready to be installed. Anyone handy with a nail gun???

Posted by: Michele on July 6, 2005 02:59 PM

Just make sure they are ready for a drink this afternoon...I didn't get rid of my damn rugrats to not meet SavannaSam, Acidman and Stacy....and to have alcohol...I have a new mantra..."This would taste better with vodka..."

Posted by: Kellie on July 6, 2005 03:01 PM

That is so sweet! What a wonderful father you must be. Which is precisely why it's so fun for them.

Posted by: Kelly on July 6, 2005 03:17 PM

I LOVE home depot!
Screw diamonds and fancy jewelry, give me the money and set me loose in one of those home improvment stores ANY day!

Posted by: Maeve on July 6, 2005 05:39 PM

being a bachelor myself...that is precisely the reason I have no problem spending 200 bux a month on a professional (female) housekeeper to keep my house clean.

Lord knows I won't do it. I tend to live like a bear that owns furniture.

Posted by: marcl on July 6, 2005 07:07 PM

Hey Robert, email me and I'll take you up on that offer!

Posted by: livey on July 6, 2005 08:57 PM

And they will do a much better job than the whiner would have because they're doing it out of love.

Posted by: Juliette on July 7, 2005 01:36 AM

Methinks they have a money-making idea and should invest in a large van to travel from place to place. i.e.: Is North Carolina too far north???

Posted by: Indigo on July 7, 2005 11:06 AM

Please send Sam and Stacey to my house. Please. Please, please, please!

I'll give them the bedroom so they can be comfy, And they can do whatever they want with my house.

Posted by: Da Goddess on July 7, 2005 03:56 PM
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