Gut Rumbles

July 05, 2005

he's asking for it

I don't disagree with a word he says but he shouldn't be saying that kind of shit with today's "new" rules. He's in for some flak.

But he seems tough enough to take it, because that's not the first politically incorrect post I've ever read from the man. That's why I like to read what he writes, even if he DOES talk too much about cooking and briny pigs.

Wanna know the truth? (And this fact will be no surprise to my daughter--- we've discussed this subject before.) I was ready to get rid of Sam's mama and Debbie KNEW that I was ready to break off the relationship before Samantha was born. So, she "forgot" her birth control and became pregnant.

That nut-case woman wouldn't even CONSIDER an abortion (although I learned later that she already had THREE of them before), because I just made supervisor at work and I was a ripe meal ticket.

I made the SECOND dumbest mistake of my life. I married her.

See... I had this really malformed idea that we could make a go of things and I could lift her UP from the way she'd always lived--- in a family just as crazy as SHE was--- and I knew that MY family would treat her well. Things didn't work out that way. SHE dragged ME down instead.

She burned down my house. Is THAT crazy, or what? She committed deliberate arson, claimed all sorts of lost property and played the role of the Wounded Woman, hoping to take Allstate Insurance to the cleaners along with me.

Unfortunately, the dingbat used gasoline to start the fire, CHARGED the gas on a credit card at the station less than a block from the house and had three different neighbors watch her haul all the loot out of the house she could tote right before she set the fire.

Allstate paid off my mortgage 11 months later. In the meantime, I kept making payments on a burnt-out house. I never saw a dime out of the deal and pretty much lost everything I owned.

We were divorced, and I got custody of Samantha. Debbie took a mysterious "job" after that, which put her completely out of communication with EVERYBODY for almost a year. I suspect that she was in jail for arson and insurance fraud. People don't just disappear like that for no good reason.

Shortly thereafter, I met Jennifer and fell head over heels in love with that woman. I was 40 years old. She was 26. We were BOTH up to our necks in debt and broke as a pair of worms. But we worked our way out of that mess and became fairly well-to-do in a few years. Did some good real-estate investing. Started to prosper.

I wanted to have a vascetomy. Jennifer wanted a baby. (It was that fucking "biological clock" thing, and I defy ANYONE to tell me that raging hormones don't control a woman's mind.) I thought about the idea and decided that we SHOULD reproduce.

She was beautiful and intelligent, and I thought I had some pretty good DNA to contribute to the project, too. We were doing well in life. Plus, I liked that baby-making practice.

We birthed Quinton into the world. I was the most delighted Daddy who ever lived. I HAD A SON!!! I KNEW that he would be the best of both of us and the Smith family name would not vanish with my death (my brother has no children and never will).

All of that turned to ashes six years later. Marrying Jennifer and siring Quinton was the WORST mistake I ever made in my life. So far, it's damn near killed me and cost almost $60,000. I seldom see my son anymore. I would rather have a thug beat me with a tire-iron than go through what I've endured for the past three years.

Thank you, Jennifer, you bloodless cunt.

I did NOT love Samantha's mama, but I DID love Jennifer. Looking back on it now, I was better off with Debbie. At least I KNEW that she was crazy. Jennifer ambushed me and broke my heart, in addition to taking everything we had together (BULLSHIT! I PAID FOR MOST OF IT!!!) and tossing me in the street with $60 to my name.

Been there, done that. WITH prostate cancer, while Jennifer moved an unemployed dope-smoker into my still-warm bed. I don't want to hear no shit from nobody about wimmen. I KNOW what those bitches are capable of.

Obviously, I picked two wrong ones, but there ain't many out there like my mama. Wimmen are capable of unbelievable cruelty that I don't understand. I couldn't sleep at night if I DID THAT.

But THEY do.


Rob....I cant comment any further on the biracial thing, as I am all tapped out on that subject....and as far as the batshit crazy wimmen you hooked up with....well.....I can attest to being batshit crazy myself, however, I have never torched a house...and I have never left my husband for a newer model...(not that I havent thought about BOTH mind you, I am just saying I NEVER DID IT, is all)

Posted by: Ruth on July 5, 2005 01:16 PM

We're not all capable of evil. I would have been justified when I found out my ex was cheating on me with his ex, his first cousin, and first cousin's husband (you read that right) but all I did was drag his stuff to the curb. No fire, no shouting, no injuries. Just washed my hands of him and moved on.

Posted by: Shamrock on July 5, 2005 01:48 PM

Hell, the first man I loved beat the shit out of me, the second guy I loved tried to involve me in kidnapping his son, lied to me about being engaged to someone else, let me take care of his kid who had been molested (because he couldn't deal with it) then left me and married the chick he wasn't engaged to anyway. Then called me a year later and wanted to get back together because she didn't like men anymore. Boo Hoo. Did I do some mean shit betcha..crazy bitch betcha. Am I proud of it. No, not really. Am I that way anymore. Not a chance.

I'm sorry that stuff had to happen to you. It blows big time. Those people always get what's coming to them. They do...male or female..what comes around goes around. Those kids will hold her accountable. Your son will hold her accountable. Just keep lettin' it out. sorry this was so long.

Posted by: Kelly on July 5, 2005 01:55 PM

That guy is a dumbass dick and if he stays unmarried and alone the rest of his life, I wouldn't be surprised.
You have had a lot of shit thrown at you by women, but you still have great affection for them. I don't know what that guy's problem is.
I predict that he will get the shit kicked out of him soon.

Posted by: UziQ on July 5, 2005 02:26 PM

You know my story, so let's just say that it took being married to only one sociopath to make me learn. That was thirteen years ago.

My reproducing time is running out and I couldn't care less. I love children and am able to have them, but what is, is: I'm not married.

Every boy I know with no father-figure is on the fast to the state pen; every girl is on the the fast track to whoredom.

I'm selfish, but not quite selfish enough to have an illegitimate child, one of the hallmarks of REAL selfishness.

Posted by: Juliette on July 5, 2005 02:29 PM

I'm truly sorry that you've had such ROTTEN luck with women. Not all women are so vicious. I hope you somehow find the person you were looking for here:

Lord knows you deserve it!

Posted by: Jane on July 5, 2005 03:01 PM

A 40 year old man and a 26 year old little hot thing, sounds more like a mid life crisis and gold digger than love. Get the fuck over it.
Admit YOU just have poor taste in women.

Posted by: Troy on July 5, 2005 05:37 PM

16 year age difference between me and my husband and I havent left him, nor burned his house down...(and I gave him two kids) Whats an age difference have to do with anything?

Posted by: Ruth on July 5, 2005 05:45 PM


You really should post Jennifer's picture. I'm DYING to know if she was hot enough to be worth it.

I'll reserve judgement unti then.

Posted by: skippystalin on July 5, 2005 06:46 PM

Troy..Sorry...I agree with Ruth. There is a 13 year old age difference between my husband and I. We have been married for 17 years. We have two kids and pretty much raised his two from a prevous marriage. Age has NOTHING to do with it. We are a perfect example. Ask Rob or any number of the commentors here who have met me.

Before you make a statement like that, make sure you know what the hell you are talking about.

Posted by: Moogie on July 5, 2005 07:05 PM

My spouse and I will celebrate 43 years in Dec. Guess she married me for love because I damn sure ain't good looking and was broke as teaser studs dick.

Posted by: GUYK on July 5, 2005 08:58 PM

I just like older men (wasnt any rhyme or reason or anything nefarious about me picking someone 16 years my senior to marry) I just always had a thing for someone older man (IMHO) is a very sexy creature...

Posted by: Ruth on July 5, 2005 09:31 PM

A-man, marrying Jennifer may have been a mistake but siring Quinton definitely was not. One of these days he'll wake up and realize what his mamma has done to you and she'll be the worse for it. As long as your blog lives he'll have a running history of your life to refer to and know how much you love him.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on July 5, 2005 09:56 PM

I didn't say I wanted him to get the shit kicked out of him soon. I said:
"I predict that he will get the shit kicked out of him soon."
As per the email you sent me, I'm not quite sure why you are pissed off at me. I was simply reacting to what I had read. It was not directed at you at all.

Posted by: UziQ on July 5, 2005 10:30 PM

You have got more baggage than American Tourister Acidbrain. I feel like I am reading a transcript of a Jerry Springer epsidode.

You might want to take a look in the mirror sometime hillbilly. I know it might scare you, but you are gonna have to face it one day. Your anger is within YOU dude. You need to figure out the origin of that anger and come to terms with it. It is NOT the specific people in your life, but YOUR OWN highs and lows that are taking the tolls and making you TIRED.


Posted by: PJ on July 6, 2005 03:36 AM

Always wondered why you never mentioned Samantha's mother in any detail before. Now I know why.

Posted by: big al on July 6, 2005 04:29 AM

Shut the fuck up, PJ!!!!!

Posted by: UziQ on July 6, 2005 07:44 AM

While age doesn't necessarily make a difference, it might make THE difference. It throws a special challenge in there. My husband is 9 years older than me and it does show itself sometimes. Not so insurmountable as to be considered a problem, but it's there.

Posted by: Kelly on July 6, 2005 08:34 AM

Rob - I'm getting a better idea of why you're feeling hateful :-/ Shit, no-one deserves that sort of crap. But I am going to defy you and say that not all women are controlled by a biological clock and raging hormones. Just a lot of them.
Hope things get better and you find someone good for you.

Posted by: Misty on July 6, 2005 11:00 AM

Hell, Misty, don't be too nice to the crazy, lunatic, hillbilly bastard. Just wish him luck on finding that next toothless wonder that won't torch his mobile home while he is passed out from moonshine. That'll be a step up I am sure.

Posted by: PJ on July 7, 2005 03:31 AM

I don't know if you're joking, PJ, or if you're some nasty troll being an asshat. I hope you're just trying to be funny.

Posted by: UziQ on July 7, 2005 10:46 AM
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