Gut Rumbles

June 08, 2005


I am proud to live in the great state of Georgia and to call myself both a Cracker and a Bulldawg. But sometimes, I feel as if I owe the entire nation an apology. I never voted for the bastard, not for governor or as President, but he came from my state and I somehow feel responsible for his assholery.

Jimmy Carter is a shit-stain on the fabric of my state. Why can't the drooling cretin just keep his mouth shut?

"The U.S. continues to suffer terrible embarrassment and a blow to our reputation ... because of reports concerning abuses of prisoners in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo," Carter said after a two-day human rights conference at his Atlanta center.

Wrong, Jimmah. The United States suffers embarrassment every time YOU spout off in front of the cameras. You were the worst President of my lifetime and you've done absolutely nothing to redeem your reputation as a weak-kneed butt-kisser since you left office. Bejus! I cannot STAND that man.

I would recommend wrapping his head in duct tape, but he'd probably just grin and chew his way out of the gag and start talking again. I cringe every time I see him today. And I have good reasons to feel that way.

As we say in Georgia, "That boy ain't right in the head."


Maybe we wouldn't be doing this if...

1) They'd hadn't declared war on us back in 2001.

2) They had the courtesy to avoid chopping off civilians' and aide workers' heads in retaliation for a few of our guys doing an S&M photo shoot in which the "victims" got little more than their honor damaged.

3) They'd stop fucking planting bombs and shooting our guys (would we need to still be in Iraq if the fuckers we're fighting suddenly stopped and realized that deliberately blowing up unarmed people and kids with the objective of creating a mirror-image of Iran's current government might not be as worthwhile as Zarqawi says it is?)

Jimmy ought to watch a human being get their head slowly but steadily sawed off (It was ten times worse than any of the "torture" we did) and then get back to us on this. has the videos.

Posted by: JG22 on June 8, 2005 09:18 PM

The only difference between a Georgia cracker and a Florida cracker is the state line.

Daily Pundit is running a contest to see who has the best idea for stopping up Carter's mouth. I suggested stuffing a Koran in it. But, I think the winner so far is the suggestion to fill his mouth with Hillary's butt!

Posted by: GUYK on June 8, 2005 09:25 PM

Aw Jesus, Man! You'd need a fucking car-jack to fit that mass in there! Go easy on the man!

Posted by: JG22 on June 8, 2005 09:31 PM

Too many peanuts, too much of Billy's Beer and NOT enough Playboy -- the man needs a better hobby, something that makes him chew so he doesn't say anything.

Posted by: Jo on June 8, 2005 10:16 PM

Fuck Jimmah. A disgrace to the fine State of Georgia, and America. Preening, pompous asshole. Imprimatur of fraud elections. Prince of moral equivalency. Cocksucker.

Posted by: Velociman on June 8, 2005 11:55 PM

but what do you really think velociman? LOL

Posted by: Robert on June 9, 2005 12:24 AM

His actions, or rather his lack of actions, during the Iran hostage situation only encouraged the Islamofascists to do what they have been doing ever since. They've seen us as a paper tiger ever since.

Thanks, Jimmy.

Posted by: StinKerr on June 9, 2005 02:46 AM

I know the feeling of having to apologize to the entire nation for a snake oil peddling politician from my home state. As a six-generation Texan, I didn't vote for the bastard, not as Governor, nor as President, but I can at least escape responsibility for the assholery of George W. Bush since he was actually born in Connecticut and he is no more than a yankee-ass transfer, Texan- wannabe. Using daddy's money to buy a baseball team and a ranch here don't make you a proud native of the Lone Star State. And I can certainly say the same about this AWOL loser when I say the United States is not only embarrassed, but damaged further in reputation when he spouts off his mouth in front of the cameras. I cannot STAND this worthless excuse for a man either.

Posted by: PJ on June 9, 2005 05:46 AM

He's President of the Hate America crowd....the president who brought us 21% inflation and three hour gas lines.

Commie bastard.

Posted by: Maggie on June 9, 2005 07:19 AM

As a native Georgian, I had 8 opportunities to vote against Goober - and took advantage of each one of them.

I refuse to accept any responsibility for his actions. Despite the horrible decisions made by Johnson and Nixon, and the froliganting of Clinton, Carter may well turn out to be the worst president of my lifetime.

Don't forget he's the one who gave away the Panama Canal, now operated by the Chinese Army. What consequences will that have for our future?

Posted by: Juan Paxety on June 9, 2005 08:14 AM

Let's see if Bill Clinton will put his dick in Jimmy Carter's mouth. I wonder if Carter likes cigars. Would he stop talking if he had a cigar shoved up his ass?

Posted by: assrot on June 9, 2005 08:39 AM

When Ronnie took over it was easy to think of Jimmah as a nice guy in the wrong job, but he has since disproved that impression.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on June 9, 2005 08:49 AM

I have a confession to make. I was 18 and a hippie when he ran for office. He was the first and last dimocrat I ever voted for. I couldn't buy a car because of the double digit inflation and my 67 Galaxy 500 chic magnet couldn't compete preppy boys.

I see PJ has learned brevity, but he still doesn't have a clue. Instead of a man who served his country honorably, I get the impression he would have liked the traitor from the Peoples Republic of MASS with the dishonorable dischage to be president.

Posted by: Ed on June 9, 2005 09:30 AM

"I feel as if I owe the entire nation an apology."

Not unless you're Miss Lillian in drag.

Posted by: Juliette on June 9, 2005 03:19 PM

I voted for him too, Ed when I was nineteen (1980). Thanks God I didn't get my way.

Posted by: Juliette on June 9, 2005 03:21 PM

You are right - Georgia does owe the country an abject apology. However, I have to apologize for my current state, even though I hate living here. We stuck the country with Hillary as our senator and I really do sincerely abjectly apologize for my fellow New Yorkers. I knew better but these fools believed her when she said all the things she would do for them. Of course, she did none of them but they will still believe her when she tells them that one again. No fool like an old fool and there are a ton of old fools here.

Posted by: dick on June 10, 2005 12:57 AM

Always was better out of office. He needs to stick to Habitat.

Posted by: Nancy on June 10, 2005 01:54 PM

Something tells me that it wasn't just your 67 Galaxy 500 that kept you from gettin' laid ED. That was obviously the least of your problems.

Posted by: PJ on June 12, 2005 02:27 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.