Gut Rumbles

June 08, 2005

i've been robbed!

Okay... I'm through bragging about what a crime-free neighborhood I live in. Sometime over the past two days, some shit-ass stole my propane cooker, my turkey-frying pot and my low-country boil pot. Right out of my driveway, next to the garage.

That stuff has been there for three years, used only when I wanted to fry a turkey or boil a bunch of peanuts. All together, it's probably about $100 worth of stuff, and the propane cooker needed a new regulator, but the principle of the thing really rips my ass. I've got no goddam use whatsoever for a thief.

Plus, that was one dumb sumbitch who did it. He (or she) must have hit while I wasn't at home--- because if I had heard them or seen them, they'd get a taste of a few imaginary gunshots. Would YOU risk your life for a propane cooker that didn't work right, an empty propane tank and two cheap-ass stainless steel pots? Some dumbfuck did.

I discovered this theft today when I was starting to assemble my moonshine still. I needed the low-country boil pot and I was going to buy a new regulator and a fresh tank of propane for my cooker. Every bit of that stuff was GONE, with only stains in the driveway to show where it had been.

I KNOW I saw that stuff a couple of days ago, because it was on my list of distilling equipment. At first, I figured that my neighbor, Henry, "borrowed" it without telling me. He's been known to do that before. I saw him come home today and walked across the street to ask him about it. He didn't have a clue. He's been in North Carolina for the past six days.

Big deal. I'll go into Rincon tomorrow and buy a brand-new outfit. But when I'm through using it this time, I'll store it in the garage instead of in my driveway. My "brandy" should be ready to cook on Friday.

Maybe somebody took it while I was visiting Catfish last week. I'll wager that it was some fucked-up kid, now that school is out. I hope the little bastard enjoys the fruits of his crime, because he damn sure didn't get much, at least not money-wise.

But he damn sure got my goat. I don't like it when people steal from me.


Use mine mostly to fry fish. Also keep it under cover-somenut wants to steal it he won't get much except the tank is fairly new. But, keep it under cover to keep the rain off the burner. Down here on the coast the damn rain has salt in it I guess because anything that gets wet and can rust-will.

Posted by: GUYK on June 8, 2005 06:29 PM

Stealing pisses me off as much as lying. I don't care if you just stole a single dollar from me, it is MY dollar, not yours.

I hope you somehow find out who did it.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on June 8, 2005 06:47 PM are PISSED, and rightfully so...but wait till some ass-hat tells you its YOUR fault cuz it wasn't locked up! ITS STILL A THEFT!!!!!!! and I know where you're coming from.

Posted by: johndeerebilly on June 8, 2005 06:53 PM

I had a really nice van in great condition the motor and tranny were recently over-hauled and the interior was laid back with captains chairs, a bed and a awesome stereo. One night it was broken into and the stereo was stolen. Very little damage to the van but i could not ever drive the thing again cause i would slip into a rage every time i got in it and saw the hole where the stereo used to be. I had to get rid of it cause i felt so violated and i swear if i ever find out who did it i`m gonna give em a old fashioned ass whuppin.

Posted by: arathorn on June 8, 2005 07:12 PM

Sounds like this happened right about the time you went and pissed the cat off.
Shoulda' killed the little sumbitch.

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on June 8, 2005 07:52 PM

Didn't people used to leave their bikes outside back several decades ago, without fear of them being stolen. Now in some parts of town, I can't even chain mine to a bike lockup, because some of these fuckers are packing heavy-duty plyers and shit to cut the chains with.

Posted by: JG22 on June 8, 2005 09:39 PM

Yes Johnderrebilly! That's pisses me off more than the theft. I hate locking shit up. Had a friend once who locked his Chevy convertable. One day it was gone and they found it with an empty gas tank and the top slashed. Locks only keep out honest people.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on June 9, 2005 09:10 AM

Don't get mad, get even. Whoever took your shit will be on the lookout for more goodies in your driveway. Leave them something very tempting to steal, but make sure it has a very nasty suprise for the thief.

Use your imangination. I'd like to read about it in the papers!

Posted by: Ed on June 9, 2005 09:43 AM

Years ago when I worked up at a ranger station in the High Sierras, someone kept stealing wood from my woodpile.
I burned about 10 cords a year, and if you ran out in the winter, your were absolutely fucked.
I asked everyone close to stop doing this. All were innocent.
So I bored out a 1 inch hole in a nice log and stuck in a 1/2 stick of Hercules dynamite with a short fuse and sealed the hole up with a piece of limb wood.

About 3 days later, at about midnight, a humongus BOOM went off in the cabin 3 cabins away.
Blew the inside stove all to hell, blew out the front windows, and even busted up some furniture close by the stove.
No human injury.
No one ever complained about anything.

Last piece of wood ever stole from me ever again.
In fact, the petty thieving stopped altogether.


Posted by: mrchuck on June 9, 2005 11:42 AM

MRCHUCK, I salute you! I see you know exactly what I was talking about!

Posted by: Ed on June 9, 2005 11:57 AM

Good idea Mr. Chuck and gets the point across rather nicely too!

Posted by: Maeve on June 9, 2005 12:01 PM

I have an air compressor in my driveway that I have tied down with a heavy cable tie and lock. Twice now in the last few years I've found it pulled out and left at the end of it's rope.


Fuckers! Ha!

Posted by: Desert Cat on June 11, 2005 01:07 AM
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