Gut Rumbles

June 05, 2005

statutory rape

What would YOU do if you met a waitress in a bar, had a brief fling with her and then ended up with her moving into your house for about six months? That doesn't sound like a bad thing, does it? I didn't think so at the time.

What happens when she tells you that "Today is my birthday!" and you decide to buy her some flowers and take her out to eat? Still doesn't sound bad, does it?

Then... just suppose that you make a totally unchivalrous mistake and ask her how old she is on this birthday? What if she says, "Seventeen years old today!"

How would YOU feel when you suddenly realized that you had been sleeping with a SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD GIRL for the past couple of months? The fact that she lied about her age to get a Health Card and a job in that bar has nothing to do with the fact that YOU have been engaged in vigorous sexual activity with a MINOR!!! YOU are guilty of Statutory Rape under Georgia law.

I'll tell you what I did.

I gave her flowers, fed her a nice dinner, then took her back to my place and balled her brains out all night long. I figured that as long as I was guilty of consorting with a minor, I couldn't get any more guilty than I already was. She certainly didn't seem outraged by my behavior. We had a GRAND birthday celebration.

What is the statute of limitations for statutory rape? That happened more than 30 years ago. Am I STILL a criminal? Did I just confess something that can have me thrown in jail today? Would a judge buy my next statement?

Honest, people... she looked older than 16 at the time.


And then what happened?

Posted by: ken on June 5, 2005 06:29 PM

Wow, 30 years later... it's just a good story.

Posted by: Sean on June 5, 2005 06:32 PM

Just damn Gut!

This brings up old memorys. A very simular thing happened to me around 30 years ago also. Met her beside a Holiday Inn swimming pool in Huntsville Alabama. I was working the gin joint in the motel at the time. To the naked eye, she was not 16. I found out about a month later. I tell you, I have found very, very few “grown” women who had her talents. She must have started when she was 4. I banged her one more time and dropped her like a hot rock!

Posted by: James Hooker on June 5, 2005 07:00 PM

LOL only you, my dear....only you.

And I'm sure the statute of limitations is up, but this just begs the question: Why are you worried about this now?

Also, I think we can all agree that you ARE criminal...but not necessarily A criminal LOL.

Posted by: Chablis on June 5, 2005 07:39 PM

I was 22 when I had my run-in with a 16-year-old. Lord, I was shook up when I found out. Almost as shook up when she told me that little-round-container of birth control pills I spied in her purse had been empty for months ...

Funny thing is, I kept sleeping with her for about a month after that.

Thinking with the wrong head, I guess. The truth be told, she was a mousy little thing with an overbite. I've always been attracted to that type ever since. But I usually ask to see ID is there's any doubt ....

Posted by: Bill Dennis on June 5, 2005 08:17 PM

aww that was so sweet of you to buy her flowers! You are such a gentleman!

Posted by: livey on June 5, 2005 08:20 PM

16 is legal in NJ.

Just sayin'...

Posted by: rightisright on June 5, 2005 09:03 PM

Age of consent in A LOT states is 16 (including Georgia)

See charts at this website...

Posted by: Ruth on June 5, 2005 09:30 PM

I wouldn't even take the chance. They might have VD without even knowing it, and condoms CAN break, people.

Besides, my religion (which is whatever caffeine-riddled liquid I just spend the past half-hour gulping) dictates that huggin' n' kissin' can be MUCH more enjoyable than pumpin' n' suckin' (assuming that she shares the same mindset, of course).

Posted by: JG22 on June 5, 2005 09:35 PM

Bah, VD ain't shit.

Its the AIDS and the Hep C ya gots ta be worried about nowadays.

Posted by: rightisright on June 5, 2005 09:46 PM

Sorry about grouping VD and the Serious Shit (TM) together; the caffeine apparently ain't lettin' me think straight tonight.

Posted by: JG22 on June 5, 2005 09:55 PM

Would you consider me a pervert if I thought your lil' story was hot? LOL
Yeah, I am a sick little monkey. *big sick grin*

Posted by: PattiG on June 5, 2005 10:34 PM

If it's old enough to bleed, it's old enough to breed...

Posted by: Bane on June 5, 2005 10:53 PM

If there's grass on the field, play ball!

Posted by: chrisg on June 5, 2005 11:59 PM

THAT is fucking funny!
I can just see the look on your face. You shrugging a shoulder and fucking her sensless.

Posted by: Maeve on June 6, 2005 12:44 AM

Ask yourself the same question. Would you find it funny later if some asshole didn't bother to ask your teenage daughter how old she was when he talked his way into her panties? Especially after you found out that he kept on balling her after he realized what he did was wrong AND illegal?

Posted by: PJ on June 6, 2005 03:18 AM

Whats with you americans and your daughters, if your daughter enjoys sex, why should the father have anything against it?? This is not a "i hate America" post, I seriousely wonder? For the record, i like America.

Posted by: warthog on June 6, 2005 05:45 AM

Wellllll, there might have been one in Galveston many years ago. I didn't ask, she didn't tell. Come to think of it, a shipmate was there before I was. That Cajun sure charmed her.

Posted by: StinKerr on June 6, 2005 05:54 AM

My daughter is a lesbian. I've never asked any questions about her sex life after she flew the coop and started living on her own.

In MY humble opinion, it's none of my business.

Posted by: Acidman on June 6, 2005 10:48 AM

Acidman, the question was not aimed at you, I have followed your blog long enough to get your take on my question!

"Ask yourself the same question. Would you find it funny later if some asshole didn't bother to ask your teenage daughter how old she was when he talked his way into her panties? Especially after you found out that he kept on balling her after he realized what he did was wrong AND illegal?"
Posted by PJ at June 6, 2005 03:18 AM

Well, maybe its illegal, in some states, but who said anyone need to talk himself in your daughters panties? Girls like to have sex too. My question stands.

Posted by: warthog on June 6, 2005 11:17 AM

Crap. I hope there's a statute of limitations on that activity.

Of course, I was in a different country then... and the age of consent was lower... but until age 20 I think every single girl I made love to was under 18.

Yeah, I know, I'm a bastard.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on June 6, 2005 02:29 PM

When I was a wee lad in Kentucky, they used to say the girls were old enough if, when they stood up in the rain barrel, their head stuck out. If it didn't, they cut the rain barrel in two and started over.

Posted by: Larry on June 7, 2005 09:32 PM
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