Gut Rumbles

May 29, 2005

dry counties

We still have a lot of "dry" counties in Georgia. If you drive Highway 129 north of Athens, you'd better stop in Arcade to buy any hootch you want, beause it's dry all the way to the North Carolina border from there. Oh, you can take a detour over to Helen and find liquor and beer THERE, but you won't find any on 129.

Of course, as soon as you cross the border into North Carolina, you're in liquor store heaven. If you stop there and check the tags in the parking lot, almost every one is a Georgia tag. This "dry" crap doesn't stop people from drinking--- it just makes them go somewhere else to buy what they want.

That's one reason Randall's Liquor Store is such a gold mine. It's right on the line between Effingham and Chatham counties. You can't buy liquor or mixed drinks in Effingham County. You can in Chatham. Check the plates in Randall's parking lot. EVERY GOT-DAM ONE is from Effingham county.

The Baptists and the holy-rollers think they're keeping people away from sin with these stupid laws, but what they're actually doing is costing Effingham county a lot of money. It's just like the War On Drugs. You're not gonna STOP people from getting fucked-up with any law you pass. YOU may feel all righteous and pleased about the law, but people are going to find a way to get fucked-up anyway.

If they have to drive a little farther, they will. If they have to deal with a shady character or two, they will. But, in the end, they'll GET WHAT THEY WANT! And no law is going to stop them.

Harlan County, Kentucky was dry for as long as I can remember. If you wanted to buy booze or beer LEGALLY, you had to drive 35 miles to Cumberland to get it. Thanks to my cousin's connections, I learned that you could get anything you wanted less than two miles from his house, smack-dab in the middle of Harlan County. Bootleg places were EVERYWHERE around there, and they didn't card, they didn't ask for IDs and they'd sell you anything you wanted if you rode up on a tricycle wearing a set of diapers, as long as you had the money.

My Aunt Netta always said that Harlan stayed dry because the Baptists and the bootleggers BOTH wanted it that way. The Baptists could feel holy and the bootleggers made money. People still got drunk.

I'll never understand idiots who try to deny human nature when they see examples of it every day. The idiots may not want what they see to BE TRUE, but it is. If you know the right people, it's easier to get a drink in a "dry" county than it is in a "wet" one. Bootleggers are already violating the law, and they have no liquor license to lose. They'll sell to anybody, regardless of age.

Buying dope is the same thing. You can get it if you want it. No law will EVER stop that, either. There's just too much money in the business and people like to get fucked-up.

What the laws do is make it easier for kids to get it, when you never know what you're REALLY getting and you have to deal with shady characters to score it. I really don't see the wisdom in that shit. A 13 year-old kid can buy a bag of reefer easier than he can purchase a pack of Marlboros today, and if you think I'm lying about THAT, you've got your head up your ass.

That's what all these "dry counties" and "War on Drugs" laws accomplish. The laws don't stop people from drinking or doping, but they make criminals rich and turn otherwise law-abiding citizens into criminals. You will ALWAYS have vendors and customers in that kind of trade, because the demand has been there since the dawn of mankind.

The same thing applies to prostitution. Wimmen always have been willing to sell pussy and men always have been willing to buy it. No law in the world is EVER going to stop it. In fact, these laws usually make the problem WORSE.

And wasting law-enforcement resources on trying to stop human nature lets a lot of murderers, rapists, thieves and thugs sneak right under the radar screen while the cops are busy busting some poor bastard who solicited an undercover police woman for a blow-job on Friday night.

That crap sure makes ME feel safer in my bed at night.


I found a still in the woods. I was only 12, but I had enough sense to run like hell. I remembered stories my Uncle Albert told about his bootlegging days in South Carolina and I didn't want to go to jail for 10 years, which he did. He did get out though, and after digging up the tax free money he hid, he was known as Uncle Cresus.

Posted by: James Hooker on May 29, 2005 02:19 PM

Great post Bowleggs, you told the God Damn truth about Dry. When I was in Statesboro Ga going to Southern, it was dry as hell and I sold dope. Who needed booze, when they had me, Cat

Posted by: catfish on May 29, 2005 03:22 PM


Posted by: livey on May 29, 2005 03:49 PM

I gave him that name, many years ago. And yes, Rob is bowlegged and could not catch a hog in a pen. See what I mean, Cat

Posted by: catfish on May 29, 2005 03:59 PM

Rob is bowlegged and could not catch a hog in a pen.

ROFL! The mental images I have running through my head right now are priceless.

Posted by: Chablis on May 29, 2005 04:36 PM

Damn acidman, with friends like ole catfish its a good thing you don't have many enemies.

Always figured the best businesss to have would be a bar and sell good bar b que and a whorehouse upstairs. Three things people do and will spend money on no matter the shape of the economy is eat drink and fuck. Get a lock on all three and the money rolls in. And, if I felt lucky run a crap game in the back room.

Posted by: GUYK on May 29, 2005 05:04 PM

Years ago I worked in a dry town. The conversation at lunch one day turned to religion. Herman, one of the mechanics, said, "I don't go to no church. Too damn many hypocrites." Somebody asked him what he meant. He said, "You know Tony Mike's, just out in the county on US 92? I see these babdists sneakin' in and out the back door, totin' little bags and pretendin' not to recognize each other. Me, I go in the front door and I stand up at the bar and have a drink like a man."

Posted by: Ernie G on May 29, 2005 05:25 PM

One reason I oppose drug prohibition is that all the arguments made against the illegal ones can be with justice applied to alcohol. Think the healthists won't give that one another try?

Most of the people I know who drink approve of the drug war, sententiously observing that the law must be obeyed. Oh sure, if alcohol sales (and possession) were prohibited tomorrow, they would never let a drop pass their lips again.

Social reform is not the proper purpose of governments purportedly dedicated to the cause of individual freedom. Persuasion, not force, is the only legitimate tool of those who dream of reforming others. No one speaks for society; one can only speak for some against others.

Posted by: Brett on May 29, 2005 06:46 PM

By the way, Acidman, we who love the South must admit that the propensity of localities in that region to outlaw alcohol is a serious defect.

I was born in Jackson County, Alabama, where we claimed to "stumble to the polls and vote dry." Sheesh.

Posted by: Brett on May 29, 2005 06:52 PM

Just to put in a contrary opinion.

Banning an activity makes it less commonly done. I don't think there is any argument about that. On the downside, driving it underground makes life harder for those who engage in that activity, either as buyer of seller, because it becomes a criminal activity, without regulations.

Most people don't appreciate, because they are never told, that during Prohibition, deaths from liver (alcoholic) cirrhosis dropped. This is a lethal scarring of the liver due to chronic or recurrent hepatitis (liver inflammation), in this case due to alcohol.

The original name for this type of cirrhosis (Laennec's cirrhosis). He was a French physician in the 19th century. The French, famous wine drinkers, had a lot of this disease.

It is common for many rational people to think nothing should be banned. Let adults decide what do with their own bodies.

A contrary view is held by many peopler, who think they are supposed to control the activities of other people. You know who you are. YOU ARE PARENTS.

THESE PARENTS CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THEIR CHILDREN, unlike those rational adults who don't give a hoot about what happens to other people.

That's right, these parents don't want their children to be drug addicts or alcoholics, and don't want them smoking, and want laws passed to make such behavior by their children difficult.

So, as long as we have PARENTS we will have laws to control the use of drugs and alcohol. Live with it. I like parents.

The wise thing to do is to respect their laws as much as you are able, and don't endanger your freedom or wealth by circumventing these laws stupidly.

Posted by: joel on May 29, 2005 08:44 PM

That's right, Joel. Have government become my "parent" and save me from myself. Then, I'll be a good little boy, listening to Daddy Ted Kennedy and Uncle Henry Waxman setting the standards for my personal behavior. Sheesh!

Posted by: Acidman on May 29, 2005 09:31 PM

You tell him bowleggs

Posted by: catfish on May 29, 2005 10:39 PM

Yeah, the stupid blue laws need to be changed! We can't buy alcohol on Sundays here in Columbus, GA so I just buy it on Saturday. These laws are idiotic and outdated. Dry counties! Just some funny FYI - Charlotte Motor Speedway is the only place you can buy alcohol in the county it's located in in North Carolina. The county's dry but you can buy beer at the race track. Amazing. (Disclaimer : I haven't lived in that county since 1997 so the laws may have been changed.)

Posted by: Leuthen on May 29, 2005 11:51 PM

Hell, the right-wing nut, Bible-belt Baptists that don't drink push for these "dry-county" laws, but they always turn out to be the biggest queers, child molesters, or prescription drug abusers around all the while they are out preachin' moral values to everyone else. They need to have a drink and settle down.

Posted by: PJ on May 30, 2005 02:15 AM

I travel in the SE every year and am looking for a dry/wet county list. All I can find is Alabama, Kentucky and Texas. Is there a site that lists all the states? Takes booze to make a restaurant work. Ian, Iowa

Posted by: ian on June 8, 2005 10:36 PM
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