Gut Rumbles
 

May 29, 2005

possums

I totally agree with this guy. I've seen a LOT of possums in my life and I believe that they are absolutely disgusting animals. They have some really bad habits, one of which is to freeze dead still when a light hits them in the night.

That's why I see so many of them dead on the road around where I live.

Maybe possums live in a strange warrior-type society, where the only way to possum heaven is under the tires of a passing automobile. A possum who dies of old age is not a true possum. He will spend his eternity at the gates of Possum Valhalla, never to sup at the Warrior's table.

I agree with the writer on another point, too. NOBODY calls them "Opossums" in the South. That's a fucking "possum," by damn! And about the only creature more stupid on the highway at night than they are is an armadillo, which is affectionately known as "possum on the half-shell" where I live.

Which reminds me of a couple of jokes Quinton told me the last time I saw him.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

To show the armadillo that it COULD be done!

"Why did the skeleton NOT cross the road?"

He didn't have the guts!

"Why did the bubble gum cross the road?"

It was stuck to the chicken's foot!

That's my son, the Young Comedian.

Telling those jokes yesterday caused my brother to recall a commercial he SAYS that he saw once, although I don't recall it. It started with a shot of a chicken standing on the side of the road, clucking and carefully looking both ways. Then the chicking goes running across the road. The camera pans back to show a bar with a big neon "Budweiser" sign flashing over the door. The chicken crosses the road and runs inside the bar.

Cut to two old men sitting in rocking chairs on a country porch while they drink Budweiser beer. One looks at the other and says.... "Well.... now we KNOW."

Did YOU ever see that commercial? If my brother hallucinated that one, he needs to sell the idea. I thinks it's very amusing.

(I stole the possum link from here.)


Comments

Yup...there's a budweiser commercial about the chicken here:
http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=19888

Posted by: Chablis on May 29, 2005 12:47 PM

I remember it, too. Think it premiered during a Super Bowl.

Posted by: Jennifer on May 29, 2005 03:15 PM

Commercials are the only thing Budweiser is good at. Their beer sucks.

Posted by: Chablis on May 29, 2005 03:41 PM

Possum?? Heck, I live on Possum Trail...try telling that to someone not from here...I always say it's right next door to the Clampetts. Love the blog!

Posted by: Kellie on May 29, 2005 05:57 PM

What did Col. Sanders say when told of the chicken crossing in the road?

"Damn! I missed one!"

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on May 29, 2005 08:00 PM

How many War Eagles does it take to eat a possum? Three. One to watch one way up the road................................

Posted by: Larry on May 29, 2005 09:28 PM

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