May 29, 2005
I totally agree with this guy. I've seen a LOT of possums in my life and I believe that they are absolutely disgusting animals. They have some really bad habits, one of which is to freeze dead still when a light hits them in the night.
That's why I see so many of them dead on the road around where I live.
Maybe possums live in a strange warrior-type society, where the only way to possum heaven is under the tires of a passing automobile. A possum who dies of old age is not a true possum. He will spend his eternity at the gates of Possum Valhalla, never to sup at the Warrior's table.
I agree with the writer on another point, too. NOBODY calls them "Opossums" in the South. That's a fucking "possum," by damn! And about the only creature more stupid on the highway at night than they are is an armadillo, which is affectionately known as "possum on the half-shell" where I live.
Which reminds me of a couple of jokes Quinton told me the last time I saw him.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
To show the armadillo that it COULD be done!
"Why did the skeleton NOT cross the road?"
He didn't have the guts!
"Why did the bubble gum cross the road?"
It was stuck to the chicken's foot!
That's my son, the Young Comedian.
Telling those jokes yesterday caused my brother to recall a commercial he SAYS that he saw once, although I don't recall it. It started with a shot of a chicken standing on the side of the road, clucking and carefully looking both ways. Then the chicking goes running across the road. The camera pans back to show a bar with a big neon "Budweiser" sign flashing over the door. The chicken crosses the road and runs inside the bar.
Cut to two old men sitting in rocking chairs on a country porch while they drink Budweiser beer. One looks at the other and says.... "Well.... now we KNOW."
Did YOU ever see that commercial? If my brother hallucinated that one, he needs to sell the idea. I thinks it's very amusing.
(I stole the possum link from here.)
All content © Rob Smith