Gut Rumbles
 

May 28, 2005

blackberry "brandy"

That chemistry experiment in my kitchen has simmered down somewhat from the way it started. Now, it's sounding like a clock with a second-hand that ticks about twice every second into the blow-off can. Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! So far, so good.

I like the color. It's dark and murky and looks exactly like.... BLACKBERRY JUICE, with lots of foam on the top and bubbles in it. I figure that in about a week, it'll be ready for the finishing touches. (Heh. Some of you people probably thought that I was making this shit up. Well... I AIN'T! Oh, I'm making the shit up, all right, but this is NOT a fantasy.)

My Uncle Virgil was at mama's house today and when I told him what I was doing, he insisted that I save some for him. He always liked my home-made beer and wine. He never tasted any of my moonshine, but HIS DADDY (MY grandfather) taught me how to do it, so I suppose that I owe him a slash or two.

I have no idea how this chemistry experiment will turn out. If all goes according to plan (which it has, so far), I should be able to make close to a gallon of brandy, once I water it down to around 100 proof and if I don't blow up my got-dam still in the cooking process. I should have about 20% alcohol in the mash (I put 10 pounds of sugar in there) when it's through percolating in that 5-gallon carboy.

I bought twelve Mason jars on my last trip to Wal-Mart, which will be MORE than enough to catch my squeezin's when I perform the ILLEGAL part of my plan, probably sometime around next weekend. I've got the still ready, just not fully assembled yet. If the cops raid me tonight, I am doing NOTHING against the law.

Right now, I'm making home-made wine and THAT'S not illegal.

When I get ready to run it off, I know what to do. The trick to making good stuff rather than bust-head is to toss what comes out of the worm onto an open flame until it explodes like gasoline instead of making a steamy hiss when it hits the fire. Then, allow about half a Mason jar to go to waste. That's the BAD alcohol that evaporates first. That's what will give you headaches, make your hair fall out and cause you to go blind.

After that, catch it all until you throw some on the fire and it hisses again instead of exploding in a bright, blue flame. Quit when that happens. You're done.

Of course, I'm lying about every bit of this. But if I WERE going to do such a thing, that's how I would do it.

Comments

I'm getting thirsty....My dear mama just poured out a half gallon of Kentucky shine ,. I shit myself . Here in Oklahoma, we just grow good smoke. Wanna trade?

Posted by: murry on May 28, 2005 11:46 PM

Hey -- if the feds ever do come knocking, it sounds like you have the beginnings of a great crab cooker there.

A good resource is here:
http://homedistiller.org

(give the site a few seconds to let the yellow bar menus develop across the top of the screen.)

If this were legal, I would have run off a few batches myself... Pity it isn't.

Posted by: DaveH on May 29, 2005 12:03 AM

Sounds promising. Love that "Georgia Wine."

Posted by: Jim - PRS on May 29, 2005 02:34 AM

Part of the trick is when you cut it. Don't use tap water unless you have a good well with pure untreated water. Damn chlorined tap water will fuck up the taste.

Posted by: GUYK on May 29, 2005 06:28 AM

Thanks Rob for the memories of my grandfather's blackberry brandy. Mom tells me that during the 30's, he loaded his stuff in the back seat of a Model T, threw a blanket over it and had the kids sit on top of it so he could deliver it.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on May 29, 2005 07:41 AM

If you were to actually distill this fine blackberry wine you are making, which of course you won't because it is illegal, how would you finish it? Obviously you dilute it, but to you filter it, age it, or flavor it somehow?

Posted by: Scott on May 31, 2005 09:24 AM

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Posted by: Mortgage Refinancing on June 5, 2005 05:48 AM

Mortgage Quotes |
Home Mortgage |
Second Mortgage |
Home Equity Line of Credit | HELOC |

Posted by: Mortgage Refinancing on June 5, 2005 05:48 AM

hmmm, we have some wild blackberries that grow up at Ft. Leavenworth - and we can go and pick as many as we want - how much do I need to make a blackberry wine? I usually just wash them and put them in cream and eat them, but blackberry wine and brandy sound pretty durn good.

Posted by: Beth Donovan on June 8, 2005 10:41 PM

hmmm, we have some wild blackberries that grow up at Ft. Leavenworth - and we can go and pick as many as we want - how much do I need to make a blackberry wine? I usually just wash them and put them in cream and eat them, but blackberry wine and brandy sound pretty durn good.

Posted by: Beth Donovan on June 8, 2005 10:43 PM
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