Gut Rumbles

May 19, 2005

things I don't care about

* The Michael Jackson trial. In MY humble opinion, the people trying to bleed him dry are a band of low-life vampires. You know what Michael Jackson is REALLY on trial for? He's rich and he's weird. That's all I think he's really guilty of.

* The new Pope. I didn't give a damn about the OLD Pope. Why should I give a shit about THIS one? He's nothing special to me. I'm not a Catholic and I think the Pope is an ass. Anybody who wears a funny hat and says that God speaks through HIM is not to be trusted.

* The filibuster. WTF? I am familiar with the old-fashioned filibusters, back during the civil rights movement, when Democrat senators read from the phone book, took leaks in a spitoon and hog-tied the floor with constant rhetoric, no matter how senseless the rhetoric might be, just to stop a vote from happening. THOSE were filibusters.

What we have now is a few pout-bags saying, "I declare a filibuster!" and everybody just goes back to the plush office without voting, shaking their heads and saying, "Just Damn! They played the filibuster card!" It's all a pathetic joke. Besides, can anybody give me an example of when a filibuster actually worked to change anything, instead of merely postponing the inevitable?

* Constitutional Amendments. I don't care how brilliant the idea may sound, I automatically oppose ANY amendment to the United States Constitution. We have too any amendments to that document already, and after the first ten it went downhill, with the government taking more and more of our freedom every time. I don't see a politician alive today who can improve on what the Founding Fathers envisioned this country to be. Those midgets have no business fucking with the work of giants.

* Flushing the Koran. That's another topic that falls into my WTF category. The forces of political correctness have been attacking the Christian Bible, the Ten Commandments, "In God We Trust," and there's always some asshole such as Michael Newdow running around bitching about the Pledge of Allegiance. We're not supposed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore, lest we offend anybody who isn't a Christian. But offending Christians is okay, because they are... well.... mostly WHITE.... and AMERICAN! It's okay to offend those people--- they are no better than cigarette smokers. Wipe your ass on the Bible all you want to. But don't you DARE flush a Koran in front of a terrorist. That's not only TORTURE, it's also...insensitive.

* Where I rank on the TTLB Ecosystem. I was blogging when nobody except my mama read me and I'll keep blogging if all my readers leave tomorrow. What is this "ranking" shit anyway? If people read it, you've got a decent blog. That's all you need to know.

* Hollywood celebrities. I don't CARE what they think. The same thing goes for musicians and "artists" of any kind. What makes them so special? One of the lowest points in my life was when I saw Meryl Streep, Sally Fields and Jessica Lange testify before CONGRESS about a Farm Bill because the three ladies played farm-wimmen in goddam movies. That was like a kick in the balls to me. If Congress wanted to know about farming, those gas-bags should have talked to my grandmother. Or ANYBODY who actually ever farmed in their lives. But celebrities told them what they wanted to hear (Yeah--- I'm not a farmer, but I played one in the movies, and here's what I think...).

Can you see Merle Streep slaughtering a hog? Can you imagine Sally Fields wringing a chicken's neck and then plucking the bird to cook for supper? Can you visualize Jessica Lange actually milking several cows at 5:00 in the morning. gathering eggs from the henhouse and THEN going back inside to cook a lumberjack breakfast for her men before they took to the fields to work? If you can, you have a better imagination than I do.

* I also don't care about Newsweek Magazine. I quit reading that rag years ago.


Have you ever noticed that most legislation violates the Nineth Amendment? Most amendments as well.

We don't need endless legislation simply because we have a legislature. One often hears politicians declare they are doing "the business of the American people." Wrong. The American people are doing the business of the American people. This conceited delusion comes from believing that "government" and "public" are synonyms.

Posted by: Brett on May 19, 2005 05:56 PM

Agreed on: Jackson, Pope, Constitutional Amendments, and celebrities.

I'd like to see the Republicans actually make the Democrats filibuster. That might be fun.

The Koran story/Newsweek is part of a bigger problem with the media, and I love to bitch about them.

The TTLB Ecosystem, on the other hand, is just a sort of fun way to look at the blogosphere, not something I expect anyone to blog about or pay a lot of attention to.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on May 19, 2005 06:12 PM

Anybody who wears a funny hat and says that God speaks through HIM is not to be trusted.

Well, since you don't even believe in God, what's the damage -- right?

Posted by: McGehee on May 19, 2005 06:56 PM

Almost 100% right here. Michael Newdow is an asshole, but he's our asshole. Ya gotta admire his lawyerly skills in getting as far as he did, considering he has no custody of his kid. I wish to hell I had those skills and tenacity. I'd rake the Domestic Relations judge, and the ex over the coals if I did.

Posted by: Cappy on May 19, 2005 07:05 PM


Posted by: torchpraise on May 19, 2005 07:18 PM

Touche, McGehee! Got you there, A-Man. Grin and bear it. He got you fair and square! LOL

Posted by: Indigo on May 19, 2005 07:58 PM

yeah and I would add to the list decaf coffee, snuff in a damn paper pouch that you gotta chew to taste, and fat women in bikinis. Also have no use for preachers, lawyers, and politicians who alternate on my personal shit list depending upon the situation.

Posted by: GUYK on May 19, 2005 08:13 PM

Wrong, Indigo. I don't believe that the Pope is anybody special, but millions of other people do. I still like the old joke about the Italian woman with ten kids who heard the Pope speak about birth control.

"He no play-a de game, he no make-a de rules."

Posted by: Acidman on May 19, 2005 11:01 PM

C'mon Rob,
Yer holdin' back
Tell us how you REALLY feel !

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on May 19, 2005 11:27 PM

If he had been born in America, I'd rather have Benedict XVI as president of the US than the pandering fuckwidgets we parade through the media every four years, but since that'll never happen, Rice will have to suffice (I should make a rap video if she runs).

Posted by: JG22 on May 20, 2005 02:13 AM

You know what Michael Jackson is REALLY on trial for? He's rich and he's weird. That's all I think he's really guilty of.

But let's not forget he likes to kiss and fondle young boys.

Posted by: Twenty Major on May 20, 2005 04:44 AM

Under 30 words...

So do you agree, sleeping with other people's little boys is normal and just a "loving" thing to do? He said it himself!

And women shouldn't have the right to vote?

Well, almost under 30...

Posted by: Jane Blow on May 20, 2005 10:32 AM

Women shouldn't have the power to vote away their fellow citizens' wealth and liberty. Neither should men.

Posted by: Brett on May 20, 2005 01:36 PM

"He's nothing special to me. I'm not a Catholic and I think the Pope is an ass. Anybody who wears a funny hat and says that God speaks through HIM is not to be trusted."

I agree, up to a point. But that last Pope went all over the world busting Commie balls, and for that I'll always be grateful.

Posted by: dipnut on May 20, 2005 01:39 PM
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