Gut Rumbles

April 19, 2005


I don't like wild card games. I like straight-up poker, whatever the game. Most people don't understand that you're playing your OPPONENT, not the cards and I like to have a sense of the odds when I gamble. That's why I "cogitate" over my hand before I bet, or fold.

I not only consider my cards, but I consider my opponent, too.

I'll bet you that I know the kind of poker she plays. I can hear it now. "Okay, my deal. One-eyed Jacks, sixes and deuces are wild." I wouldn't bother to ante for that game.

To me, poker is a lot like chess, only with money involved. It is a game of strategy, intuition and skill (yes, luck is involved, but not as much as most people think). A good poker player will beat a poor one 99 times out of 100.

I know the game and I play it straight. When some dipstick starts calling half the deck wild cards, I drop out, because I've lost my ability to calculate the odds. I KNOW how most wimmen play poker. The more wild cards, the better.

Only idiots do that.

If I offended anybody with this post, you can kiss my Cracker ass. I paid my poker dues in the back room at Johnny Gannem's Restaurant for many a year, and I wasn't playing my cousins there. I played with guys who brought a wad of money and toted pistols when they arrived for the game.

Talk shit to ME about playing poker. I didn't win that game at Jekyll by accident.


No one HAS to read anyone's blog, so go away and no one will care. For your information, this man is a very sweet guy, crusty edges and all!

Posted by: Michele on April 19, 2005 05:03 PM

Deal me in! Straight poker is the way to go! My brother must be part woman...he likes all that pansy ass poker the game the way it's meant to be played! Don't waste my time!

Posted by: The Wizard on April 19, 2005 05:06 PM

While I GOT to call you out for picking on my girl - AGAIN - honestly, quit dippin' her pigtail in the inkwell - I have to say, fuck OFF, Veronica.

Rob can be a real shit on blog, and we all know it. But until you meet the man behind the mouth, shut your fucking tater-hole. You know nothing, and it shows.

Ahem. So, yeah. Quit pickin' on Key. You guys will have the opportunity to put your money where your mouths are soon enough. I'm busy scouting the next location.

Personally, I'm not ashamed to admit that I suck at poker. I'll kill ya at Gin Rummy, though.

Posted by: Kelley on April 19, 2005 05:07 PM

When I lived in Florida, I played poker every Friday night with a group of friends. The men gathered to play poker, smoke cigars and tell lies while the women went to see a movie. It was all pocket change betting. The evening wasn't about the game as much as it was about bonding with friends. I miss those days.

Posted by: oregano on April 19, 2005 05:09 PM

What is poker a control freak game?

Newsflash, honey... dealer calls the game. period. Doesn't matter how gay, padded, or retarded you think it is. You don't fucking like it, don't fucking you said. I can call twelve card fucking stud if I feel like it, and you can think what you will, but you can't change my mind. Dealer calls it.

Personally, I have resented throwing in an ante for 10 card peak. I think it's damn stupid to be expected to toss in a bet when you have no fucking clue what's in your hand.

But you know what Acidhead, frustrating though it may be, in this game of life, we don't always get to call the game.

Now. Get the fuck over it, or take it offline. If you can't find me, I must have given in to this darkness tugging at my senses.

(Think I have a concussion...)

Posted by: Key on April 19, 2005 05:49 PM

Remember those big games at the Savannah Mafia Inn? We had the 10 most wanted men by the FBI in Savannah for a while, they lived in those cabins around the Hotel. During the day, the gang played golf, early night it was to Dino's Den, quess who owned it, and later that night, played all types of cards for some big money and yes people, this was no friendly game, these crooks wanted to win and for you to owe them, see what I mean? Cat

Posted by: catfish on April 19, 2005 05:55 PM

I bluffed you well, but just not all the way. Next time, you're mine.

Thanks for the game, I enjoyed it.

Posted by: Barbie on April 19, 2005 07:31 PM

*pishawwwwww* all this muttering and sputtering about poker. Who gives a rip? Old fashioned pinball is THE game to play. I'd beat ya butts at pinball any day.

Poker. *pishawwwww*


Have a nice day, now kiss and make up you two!

Posted by: PattiG on April 19, 2005 08:20 PM

Fucking harsh.

Kill 'em with kindness, Acidman.

Posted by: Velociman on April 19, 2005 09:24 PM

I'll play it straight or as wild as you want. "Follow the Bitch" and "Low Hole Roll Your Own" are tough to beat, or how about "Five Card Stud Low Hand?"

Posted by: Ed on April 20, 2005 09:36 AM

Most of the poker I've played was during 26 years U S Air Force. Table rules were universal: One joker, good for aces, straights, flushes or any card in lowball. No other wild cards. No arguments about what's what. No derisive hoots about fours, whores and one-eyed jacks. Walk up to a table in any USAF officers', nco or enlisted club and know the score. Almost as good as straight poker.

An interesting little tidbit about odds of improving a hand: with two pair odds of improving the hand are better drawing three cards than drawing one. However, two pair will win more than half the time in draw. Food for thought.

Anyone who wants to sharpen their game at no risk should check out Let me know when you are coming and I'll show you how to get more (monopoly) money than they start you with.

Posted by: Larry on April 20, 2005 10:29 AM

Larry, what you say about two pair is true, but I've always believed that if I have two pair, I ain't gonna bust 'em on the hope of a draw.

Two pair ain't a bad poker hand.

Posted by: Acidman on April 20, 2005 10:51 AM

What's the worst poker game ever?
"Seven Card No Peek!" Ugh!
I MIGHT play if I'm third to left of the dealer. Any other position and I'm folding at the first opportunity. The dealer's got the worst seat in this game, so why be a fool and call it?
Beats me, but there's usually a fool or two at the table. These are generally my favorite players!

Posted by: Ed on April 20, 2005 03:26 PM
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