Gut Rumbles

April 05, 2005

acidman's advice to trolls

I've studied you people for a while. Interesting. Kinda like looking at worms crawl out of puppy-turds. Watching that nature in action riff is about as intresting as reading your comments.

Lemme give you some advice if you want to be a good troll:

* Try so stay somewhat on topic, even though you don't understand the topic.

* DO NOT resort to mindless insults as a way to make your salient intellectual points.

* Look up the word "Salient" in the dictionary, if you own one. That act might increase your vocabulary by at least 50%.

* Use a real email address, you cowardly bastard.

* Ask yourself a serious question--- why do I get my jollies being a complete prick on other people's blogs? Did you start out by writing grafitti on bathroom walls?

* Get a fucking life, you pathetic loser. Try some Clearsel. Bathe once in a while. Try sex with a REAL woman once in your life.

And move out of your mama's house. Do something really unthinkable, such as get a job.

That's MY Humble opinion.


You lost Beth at "salient." Write slower.

Posted by: DONGER on April 6, 2005 12:47 AM

If you obeyed all those rules, you wouldnt be a troll.

Posted by: dee on April 6, 2005 03:12 AM

You either are terminally fucked, or you have to admit it and shape up. You can't win. It's just not fair.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on April 6, 2005 07:13 AM

1. I've got a job. YOU are the one who doesn't. Remember? They sacked your ass long time ago.

2. YOU use mindless insults. That's why I do the same. It's the only way to get your attention. Pigs like shit, donchaknow.

3. You think I'm stupid, but I'm not. That's why I don't give an email address. I get enough spam as it is.

4. It's not my intention to be a prick. I only make observations about your boasts and claims. YOU just can't stand to take the same kind of abuse you dish out to others.

5. The rest of the puerile sex references and bathroom observations only go to prove my point. YOU are 53 years old! When do you intend to grow up.

6. Get out of the house more often, stay off the internet, get a job, be a good father, do something for others, the community, stop being so self-centered and self-pitying.

7. Oh, I am not a troll. I read your blog everyday and comment only when you've done/said something really outrageous. Delete me if you must but you can't ban me from reading.

8. Sam is a dimwitted skank who ought to be in anger management classes, 'tho lord knows she's got reason to be so angry. Don't tell her I said 'tho, otherwise she'll come after me with a ball-peen hammer to teach me how much she loves her family. Yech!

Posted by: Guess Who on April 6, 2005 05:43 PM

anyone else think that may be the BC or her bf?

Posted by: livey on April 6, 2005 09:42 PM

I was really liking my "Dude" theory but I must admit your hypothesis has merit there LIVEY....Hmmmmm.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:06 AM

"I am not a troll" is about as convincing as "I am not a crook." You don't leave your email because you are gutless, and your rationalization is bogus. Buffoon.

Posted by: Chris on April 7, 2005 12:20 AM

Here's the bottom line question, Beth-troll: Why do you read this blog daily?

What attracts you--like a moth to a flame--to a site where you find "puerile sex references", "bathroom observations" and other stuff "really outrageous", that you simply must comment on?

What compelling interest do you have in Rob's site, that you cannot seem to help yourself?

Why read it if you find it outrageous? Are you some kind of control freak IRL? A little obsessive compulsive maybe? Do the people around you tolerate this behavior? Or do you find yourself mostly alone?

I'm betting on the latter.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 8, 2005 01:22 AM
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