Gut Rumbles
 

April 04, 2005

wonderful advice

I want to thank everyone who has told me to "get over it" with Jennifer and the loss of my son. That's what a man has to do, and its just all so simple. Faggetaboudet. The boy will come around someday, and you just can't keep letting this shit keep eating at you. Move on.

Move on to where? If I end up with a willing bedmate who likes to tangle the sheets with me, then all my problems are over? I'll forget all about Quinton because I'm getting laid regularly? Hell, that's all a man really cares about, right?

You people are full of shit.

Comments

Buncha twats.

They're not living it, like you are.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 4, 2005 02:59 AM

Bullshit. I was taken for my ride eight years ago, and you never, EVER get over that shit, no matter how much better things get. Yes, a guy can eventually get to where it don't twist his guts out over a hot fire, but he NEVER forgets.
On the other hand, those who are telling you to move on are doing so, I think, out of love and respect. They want you to feel better, is all.
Do what you have to do, A-man. Write what's real, cause that's all that counts. If it don't meet their standards, they know what they have to do.

Posted by: Stoney on April 4, 2005 06:11 AM

Been there, Rob. Done that.

Be a Daddy first. That is the most important thing in the world. Go to games, send cards, leave messages, but be a Daddy. The boy will come around. One day the light will come on in his eyes, and Daddy will be close by. That is a great day.

In the meantime, live your life, but be a Daddy.

Posted by: Dennis on April 4, 2005 06:53 AM

The next self righteous prick who says "move on" or "get over it" to me after any of the small personal kicks in the guts that life deals out is going to hospital.

No threat -promise.

Go and get your Uncle Virgil to deal with these shiitheads A-man.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 4, 2005 07:30 AM

I held off commenting on your previous post but to all those mis - informed people who said let it go/just walk away from it/thats just the way it is. BULLSHIT. Never ever give up on trying to get with your son . Your son needs and wants you in his life. We can't know what your ex is filling his head with,But, we do know that there is always a place in a childs heart for their parent.If you give up then your ex will have such a easy time proving you weren't interested and that is bullshit too. She Will pay. Time wounds all heels and by gum she will get hers. Continue to persue your son and someday it will all become evident to him.

Posted by: arathorn on April 4, 2005 07:39 AM

I hate to be blunt, but you got three choices:

1) Wallow in self-pity
2) Get over it
3) Do something about it; get custody

I opted for door number three. It can be done, but is not for the faint of heart!

Posted by: Ed on April 4, 2005 08:10 AM

I can't imagine the type of person that would advise you to "get over it"... That's crappy advice at best. That does not mean to mope about. You probably need to be upbeat and positive and agressive in life. If your son seeks out dad, he's not gonna want a sad sack negative guy. Moping will get you nothing... (This comment from a guy with no kids so take it for what it's worth...)

Posted by: Yarbz on April 4, 2005 08:29 AM

The Idiots who just said..."get over it"...need to get a life!

Posted by: Wendi on April 4, 2005 08:38 AM

My Daddy always used to tell me that presentation is 99%. It's the difference between what you say and what you mean. Move along and get over it is a poor choice of words but finding the right words to express what's in your heart can sometimes be a very difficult thing to do. I think those that say it's time to move along and get over have good intentions for you.

You can't change these bumps in life that you've experienced and they are very hard knocks. I don't think that anybody implies that at all. I personally keep wondering at what point you'll turn the corner and write about finding peace and moving forward despite them? You have no control over the people whom have hurt you but you do have control over how you react. What are your reasonable choices and what's the best you can find it in yourself to do?

I'll continue to read along for many reasons with hopes that a new road comes along in your life that gives your more contentment than it does grief.

Posted by: Susie T on April 4, 2005 08:56 AM

If you are worth your salt, you won't get over your son. Whoever said that, either didn't mean it, or it is a fucking immoral ass.

Do whatever it is that you can do to be with your son. You may have to wait until he is old enough to make the decision about where he wants to live, but in the meantime, just be cool and use your head.

Posted by: Dawn on April 4, 2005 09:03 AM

Isn't one of the purposes of having a blog is to release some anger? Exspress your emotions? Rant all you want, spew what you have, if they don't like it, they don't have to read it. Don't ever stop trying to see your son. I agree with the man who said "Take door #3". That bitch is going to slip up soon and you will be there to get your son. Have you thought of calling social services on her ? Do you have ANYTHING on her that can nail her skanky ass to the wall? Fight for you son and DON'T you EVER give up!

Posted by: Maeve on April 4, 2005 09:38 AM

Take it from your favorite red headed Southern blogger: don't give up on your son. You and he are worth it.
Remember how many folks are on your side. Not all of us have been in your shoes, but I know that if someone I loved was being kept from me, I'd be pretty damn pissed off too.
Things will come around. Remember, karma is a bitch.

Posted by: UziQ on April 4, 2005 10:16 AM

hang in with the boy Rob mine has just come around he going on 20 now and was a royal pain in the ass from the time he was 13. Now we hang out on a weekly basis it was worth the wait

Posted by: ccracs on April 4, 2005 11:39 AM

Didn't you get visitation rights to Quinton in the divorce?? I know that visitation rights doesn't mean that mom won't find some excuse why you can't see him. If it were me I would petition the court to enforce those rights.
It's highly unlikely that you could take custody from The bloodless cunt but I'd be damned if she'd stop me from seeing my kid.
Quinton might not even be keen on the idea from the get go considering what lies his mom is probably feeding him but it's damn time that he find out for himself that you are a good daddy and you do love him. Push for your rights as a father.
Best wishes.

Posted by: dawn on April 4, 2005 12:22 PM

I gave my Dad a pretty hard time after my parents divorced. My mom filled me full of venom every chance she got. I lived with her so that's all I heard. 2 weeks in the summer was not enough time for my Dad to "undo" all of that. But he never gave up. He'd offer his hand I'd slap it away, he'd offer it again. Point is, when I did began to think for myself and realized he hadn't betrayed me, I had an open door at his home. Had he closed that door and given up, I assure you I would have never knocked. Never give up. Blood is thicker than venom.

Posted by: DONGER on April 4, 2005 12:43 PM

After reading all these replies, I went back to the 'Of Mice & Men' post to re-read the comments. I couldn't find ONE that advised Acidman to get over losing his son. That WOULD be immoral and insane. What I saw was a few posts like "Get over Jennifer" & "people can only hurt you if you let them". Unless I missed something (and I may very well have), I think people were telling Acidman to stop whining over an evil woman who did him dirty, and to move on. I can't say I disagree with any of that. Everybody in this thread is correct... be a father first, and never give up on your son... BUT... get over the bitch-ex, and stop moaning about it. To me, that sounds like good advice that I'd give a friend, and would appreciate getting from one. Ain't nothing wrong with a little tough love telling us all to man-up when we need it. Again... If I missed something, I apologize.

Posted by: Amerikan on April 4, 2005 12:45 PM

I would like to believe that anyone who said get over it was only talking about the BC not your son. You're a good man, you're a good dad, keep trying no matter what.
But let go of the anger you feel toward her, remember she is and always will be his mother. Make peace, as difficult as it will be, you will have to swallow your pride and play her game if you want to see your son. I know it sucks but life is never fair when you have to deal with a BC.
Be the man you want your son to know. Try to look at the big picture through his eyes. Remember children are very impressionable. Impress on him how to deal effectively with women like that so he doesn't make the same mistake you did. In the end you will be the winner.
You haven't lost yet.

Posted by: Livey on April 4, 2005 12:47 PM

HERE HERE, Livey! Well said.

Posted by: DONGER on April 4, 2005 02:26 PM

I'd like to know who told you that getting laid regularly was the answer to all of your problems.

I'm cryin' bullshit. I don't think anyone told you that.

Wonder what you'd find if you treated each intriguing woman that you meet as a potential companion, rather than a possible lay.

Posted by: Key on April 4, 2005 02:28 PM

"Move on to where?"...that is a VERY IMPORTANT question. Bon Voyage!

Posted by: Bonita on April 4, 2005 03:13 PM

I think a "piece of ass" (regular piece of ass) would solve alot of problems! 'Course I'm a pig!

Posted by: DONGER on April 4, 2005 03:50 PM

Amerikan: and if he's *not* over it, what do you propose he do? Just shut up, so it doesn't make you uncomfortable?

Saying "get over it", is completely useless. You (and whoever else) are making a judgement from your comfortable seat on the other side of the blogosphere that he is just "whining". But you don't know that, and unless you are in his shoes (or a whole helluva lot closer to them), you aren't going to know.

Men are always told to "stuff" their emotions. That's bullshit! And "stuffing" the kind of anger and hurt expressed in the referenced post is just about THE most harmful thing a person can do to themselves. If he had a counselor, he could unload this shit on him/her. But this blog seems to serve the purpose just fine.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 4, 2005 06:09 PM

Damn, Rob. Given your proclivity for posting on your penchant for purchasing Third World mestizo and mulatto flesh for carnal purposes I can't believe the entire distaff side of blogworld isn't beating your door down with dinner invitations.
Hell, Scott Peterson and Charlie Manson are getting more marriage proposals than you. Maybe we should "rethink the paradigm".

Posted by: Velociman on April 4, 2005 10:51 PM

DESERT CAT: You're absolutely right. Expressing yourself is much healthier than keeping your feelings bottled up. But lamenting to the point that you chastise another for not being humane enough to just put a bullet in your head in order to spare you the unbearable torment youíre going through over a broken heartÖ well thatís either just melodramatic bitching and moaning... or absolutely insane... NOT helathy. And even though I can't know Acidman's thoughts, since I haven't walked in his shoes... I don't think somebody has to experience the EXACT situation to relate or empathize. I've also had my life so turned inside out... to the point that I didn't want to do anything but mope, whine & work my way to the bottom of bottle. Getting off that self-destructive path didn't require friends & family reinforcing and approving of my behavior... I needed a kick in the ass and some good advice to help set me straight. And I'm aware of the trend of emasculating males... plucking their eyebrows... not ashamed to openly cry... carrying a man-purse... don't fight, be sensitive. That's fine, if that's your thing... but Acidman doesn't strike me as the metrosexual type. I think he's just been through some awful shit & is caught in a funk. And a friendly "snap out of it" or "get over her" may be just the medicine he needs.

My apologies to anyone (Acid, Desert, other posters, and metros) who I may have inadvertently offended by my advice.

Posted by: Amerikan on April 5, 2005 07:44 AM

As usual, the Velociman nails it!

Posted by: wmprof on April 5, 2005 01:14 PM

Metrosexuality is a deliberate feminization--not the same as "not stuffing it". In fact, re-reading what I wrote, I have no idea where you pulled that in from. Seems you were extrapolating quite a bit there.

Somehow I don't think your "snap out of it"--coming as it does from a pseudonymous faceless entity on a blog comment--is likely to have much positive effect . Maybe if you were a close friend in real life, with an established relationship for context, it might be just the tonic.

But as I see it, it takes the credibility of a friendship for that kind of "tough love" to have much meaning. In this context, it just comes off as kicking a guy when he's (still) down. Anyone can shout "LOSER!" and walk away with no concern.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 6, 2005 01:22 AM
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