Gut Rumbles

February 24, 2005

buying sexy things

I used to enjoy buying teddies and sexy night-clothes for Jennifer. She liked them and I liked the way she looked in them, so I made an occasional stop at Victoria's Secret for a surprise present. I usually don't like to shop, but I enjoyed doing it there.

Here's a tip, guys. Go in there and look really confused, as if you don't have a clue what you're doing (which isn't difficult for most guys). You'll have a good-looking salesperson at your side right away. Explain that you want to buy your lady something sexy, something like that thing on the rack right there, but you can't remember her size.

If you play your cards right, you'll end up with half the wimmen in the store strutting in front of you to give you an idea of what size to buy. "Well, she's about YOUR height.... and her bust is about the size of YOURS.... and YOU'VE got exactly the same hips... and her legs look a lot like YOURS. They'll huddle together and come up with a size 7, 36-B cup, which is what Jennifer wore.

You get to buy the right present and flirt with a lot of wimmen at the same time. TRY IT! You'll LIKE IT!


The BEST option, one that I had when I was much younger, is to actually date one of the women that work there. On occasion, they'll have a special "guy night", with lingerie models strutting around who'll put on ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING they sell. Remember when George Costanza got into the secret supermodel city? It was just like that, but I got to take my favorite model home.

One of my favorite nights ever. Plus I got the employee discount.

Posted by: Alan S. on February 25, 2005 12:21 AM
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