Gut Rumbles

February 08, 2005

the cabinet grows

I am proud to announce two new members to my "REPROBATES IN 2008" fascist regime Presidential administration. First, I'm gonna put steve in charge of The Bureau of Indian Affairs. That may sound like a small-time position, but he has BIG plans. I like ambition, as long as it isn't coupled with treachery.

Second, I need to make my cabinet look "more like America." I don't have enough minorities on board, but I'm working on that. I'm gonna make this guy Chairman of my Council of Economic Advisors. He walks on crutches, so that'll look good when anybody talks about "diversity" (ALL HAIL DIVERSITY) and he doesn't like seeing government piss money away. Plus, I think he can be trusted to handle the White House Slush Fund as long he gets a fair slice of the pie.

As long as I'm at it, I'm going to hire this one. this one and this one as speech writers and associate keepers of the Presidential blog-fires.

What? You thought I'd quit blogging just because I became LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD???? Fuck that idea. I can do both with a little help from my friends.

There is ONE DETAIL that I'll run by the selection committee before they rubber-stamp my choices for me. If my CC of EA gets a wild hair up his ass and starts cat-bombing the Presidential blog, he will be immediately dragged off and shot as a terrorist spy.

It'll be part of his contract.


You okay for white man.

Posted by: Steve H. on February 8, 2005 09:47 PM

I thought you were going to fire me. I needed the severance to pay for the shaved Asian slurp sluts. Damn you!

Okay, I'll stay, but I need my own personal advisor. Appointed at your indulgence. You know my prerequisites.

Posted by: Velociman on February 8, 2005 10:56 PM
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