Gut Rumbles

February 03, 2005

so clear, so simple, so fucked up

I became a student of human nature many years ago when I ran head-first, blindly into the real world. Trust me--- that was a rude awakening for an idealistic young man. But I paid attention and I learned quickly, and that's how I became the cynical old bastard that I am today.

I read stuff like this and I wonder why some people never grow up. Actually, I wonder how they manage to feed themselves and to remember to wipe their asses, too, but it's that complete naivete that really gets me.

The world is not fair and it should be... just because.

Like our ape-like ancestors, weíre social animals. That means we will construct a sort of society amongst ourselves, even if thereís only two of us, anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. Even if weíre thousands of miles apart, joined only by computers and communications equipment. Itís hard-wired into us. More than that, itís in our hearts.

That's why we have no murders and no wars. We are all one people.

I know this because Iíve become rather isolated myself, over the last few years. I spend way too much time on the computer. Like most time spent anywhere, much of it is wasted. But I have discovered that I do have a few actual friends, in this unreal world. Thatís kind of important to me right now. Iíve recently suffered some setbacks that are proving difficult to overcome. But when I asked for help here on the ĎNet, I actually did get a response. More than any mere financial assistance, that meant a lot to me, the fact that people cared. The worst thing about having your world collapse is how it makes you feel. Pretty much devoid of hope. Paralysed and unable to act. Isolated and powerless.

Break my bleeding heart. The worst thing about "having your world collapse" ( and what exactly happened to YOU, wimp?) is knowing that it's YOUR world and when you're sitting there dazed in the rubble, YOU have to drag your own ass out of it. Sitting there "paralyzed and unable to act" doesn't do much to contribute to society. You become a parasite.

Itís an unfortunate truism that good people never have any money, and people with lots of money tend not to be very good people. Something wrong with the whole system, I think.

You're broke. It's "the system's" fault. Ever tried getting a fucking JOB?

But this is a basic function of human society: To take care of itsí own. Why else put up with all the bullshit? If we canít share the good things about people in the functioning of our government, what good is it? Our government, our society, our technology either represent the best of us, or we have to fix them. Otherwise, they represent the worst of us.

Lemme get this straight... people work hard, pay taxes, abide by the law and try to prosper just so they can spend money on derelects like you. It's that "sharing" thing, where I give the fruits of MY labor to somebody who never hit a lick and doesn't intend to. That may be "the best of us" for you, but it ain't for me. Get a fucking job. Carry your own goddam weight.

You can see some of that, on my blog, right now: The worst of us. Certain anonymous cowards are taking advantage of my situation, and misusing this wonderful technology, to be just as small and as petty and as evil as any sociopath in the real world. Iíve left some of their many ill-intended comments up, so you can see the other side of the Internet. There are some really sick people out there, like Geoffrey, and Gordon. We can only hope that all their worst actions are taking place here in cyberspace, and not out there in the real world.

What? They called you a lazy, worthless, parasitic intestinal worm? GODDAM! The truth hurts, doesn't it?

I'll issue a society challege here, numbnuts. I'll pay you $1,000 in cash to come clean my house. I'll buy you a bus ticket to get you here and back home again. I'll give you a bed to sleep in and I'll feed you, but you're gonna work your ass off, and I expect it all to be done to my specifications in five days. If you pull that trick off, I'll hand you 10 crisp $100 bills and send you on your way. I'll have a clean house and a lot of your troubles will be over.

If you touch my computer, I'll shoot you. You can't be fucking around on the internet when you're supposed to be working. If you get lazy on me, I'll pistol-whip the shit out of you and beat you with my genuine Scottish shepherd's crook. And I don't care what the weather is like outside. You're gonna pressure wash the house, or else I'll shoot you.

Good people always outnumber bad people. And one good person is more powerful than all the bad ones put together, because he is connected to all the other good people, by having a good heart. Even on the Internet.

One person willing to clean my house is worth $1,000 CASH to me right now. Where do you stand, whine-boy?

(UPDATE: YES! This job-offer is open to anyone who wants to take it. I don't expect to hear from whine-boy, because he don't wanna work, but if you do, the job is yours. I won't shit in the sink before you get here, either. It's still gonna be one hell of a job. $1,000 is a fair price. I'd prefer a woman, but I'll take anyone willing to do the job.)


Shit, for $1,000 *I*'ll come down and clean your house.

Posted by: Jay G. on February 3, 2005 02:23 PM

Damn you Acidman,

I lost 3 minutes of my life reading that pissant's screed against capitalism.

Posted by: rightisright on February 3, 2005 02:52 PM

Is that offer open to all, or just the cocknugget in the article? $1,000 sounds pretty good for five days work...

Posted by: ejh on February 3, 2005 02:59 PM

I'll do it in three days for $500. If it's not done to your satisfaction you owe me nothing and I'll make you some good Yankee food, you know, something without pork. You can buy the beer.

You don't even have to put me up and feed me -- I'm thinking I don't want to sleep in any house that will take a full work week to clean.

I'm dead serious. I'll be passing by that way early next month -- so you have plenty of time to make it even worse (shitting in the sink the day before I arrive voids the deal, but short of that, it's all you) at the very least you'll get some good photos and some blog entries out of the deal.

Posted by: Your favorite troll on February 3, 2005 03:06 PM

Heh. I'd clean your house for $1,000.00 and round trip busfare. That's more than I earn in a month at my 45-50 hour a week job.

Not that I'm complaining about my job, mind - that $1,000.00 a month bought me a 3 bedroom brick house, a purty little station wagon, a low end computer and internet service, and it keeps me, the dawgs, and those two homeless people (otherwise known as my kids) living with me fed.

Of course, you probably intend for some slacker to take up your offer just to make a point. That's cool.

Posted by: Noddy on February 3, 2005 03:56 PM

These altruistic philosophers never make the connection between property and life; that's why they feel so benign about dismissing those of us who do as selfish, while they take our property. Oh sure, they always say they don't mind kicking in their fair share, fair to be determined by them. That just allows them to feel good about looting others.

Taken to the logical extreme, if no one can count on government to protect their property rather than loot it, no one will produce much wealth.

Posted by: Brett on February 3, 2005 04:14 PM

HEY! Why didn't you offer me that when Stacey and I were down. I bet for $1000 stacey would have gotten up and helped me clean too. We're coming back down in July. Save it for me!!!!!! I'll just let you deduct some of it off what I owe you, deal?

Posted by: Sam on February 3, 2005 04:28 PM

Having recently lost my job - yesterday - $1000 looks pretty damn good. The pistol-whipping part is - and I'll be honest, here - off-putting. But I ain't lazy.

$1000 and I'll cook you a week's worth of dinners and freeze 'em, to boot.

Posted by: Queenie on February 3, 2005 06:10 PM

Sam don't worry he'll have it good and dirty again by July. Happy late birthday. Ga.

Posted by: ga on February 3, 2005 06:34 PM

How much will you pay me to go kick that liberal whiner in the balls?

Posted by: Steve H. on February 3, 2005 07:12 PM

Please don't judge Sandy and her site by Cosa, Rob. He's just a guest writer.

Posted by: zonker on February 3, 2005 08:17 PM

Thanks got my back man :) Cosa is a guest writer and I don't ask that he run anything past me neither..I let him say what he wants..I let anybody say what they want at my place. I figure if we was sitting around the table drinking beers together..this is what would happen..I like a pot with different ingredients..makes life interesting.

Posted by: sandy on February 4, 2005 02:26 AM

That person is a sensational exemplar of why I stopped paying income taxes in 1977.

I would rather go to prison than give up one single dime of what I produce for something like that just because fucking assholes in government say I should.

Fuck 'em all, right out loud.

Posted by: Billy Beck on February 5, 2005 03:58 PM
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