Gut Rumbles
 

January 29, 2005

this is sad

Yeah, you can go here and get your shits and giggles by laughing at people less fortunate than you are. You can chortle your ass off the way some people do when they kick the crutches out from under a cripple and watch him fall down on the sidewalk. If you do that, you should be ashamed of yourself. (and you should be, too.)

I've said many times before than an omnipotent God should have a done a better job with men's hair. About the only things he fucked up worse are teeth. But neither one is an impressive engineering feat.

I'll confess: For years, I wore my hair brushed straight back, like a Golden God. My coiff resembled a lion's mane, and I was proud of it. I was Bubba Fabio.

But I started noticing that I developed a part down the middle that I never had before, and that part kept getting wider every day. Sometimes, when I removed my hard hat after some sweaty work, I resembled someone who had been hit down the middle of the head with a hatchet.

I didn't like the way that looked. I got a different haircut and started parting my hair on the side. YES!!! I started a comb-over. But at least I have enough hair remaining to make it appear convincing.

I could NEVER be desperate enough to comb-over three worm-looking hairs from the back of my neck to string them over my bare scalp in an effort to look handsome. I don't go for the coonskin cap look, either.

I'd give up and shave my head first.

Comments

That's what I did, goddammit. Shaved head!

I'm bald and I'm proud!

And lonely. Godfuckit, I'm so lonely...

Posted by: skippystalin on January 29, 2005 10:20 PM

^^^ don't feel skippy...I'm kinda in the same boat. I got about enough hair to do a Donald Trump style comb over, but I absolutely refuse to do it. I just keep cuttin' that shit shorter and shorter and it won't be long until I shave it completely.

Posted by: marcl on January 30, 2005 01:36 AM

ooops...meant to say "don't feel bad" above.

One other thing. Rob talked about people that get entertainment at the expense of others. Well, have a look at this video and tell me that kid's karma didn't make him pay a hefty price for the experience of doing that.

http://www.littlemidgets.com/downloadsnew/sub_1631.wmv

Posted by: marcl on January 30, 2005 01:42 AM

^^^oh crap! Sorry...I screwed up again. That link is no longer direct. Be careful if you go to that site as it's not exactly work safe.

Anyway, it's unbelievable video of a kid I'm sure was killed while trying to knock another (younger) kid off his bike with a car door.

Should be the first video under movies...but I dunno bout my skills no more, so don't hold me to it.

Posted by: marcl on January 30, 2005 01:55 AM

The only thing stranger than men who would do a comb-over is a website devoted to that idiot hair-do.

Grammar check, please.

Posted by: Rivrdog on January 30, 2005 02:42 AM

Shaved head? That'd really be like showing your ass. The only way people could tell the difference is by which way the crack runs.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on January 30, 2005 09:03 AM

A barber told me about something that happened in a shop where he had worked years before. The boss called another barber over and quietly told him he was fired. The barber then walked back to his customer, who was still in the chair. He cut the customer's comb-over off, put his scissors down, and walked out. As he went out the door, he said, "I've always wanted to do that."

Posted by: Ernie G on January 30, 2005 10:11 AM

I had a similar experience with hard hats. For years I was convinced that that damn hard hat was causing my hair to fall out. Then I got a job that didn't require a hard hat. I soon discovered that that damn hat was all that was holding my hair IN. Now when I walk in the sun, I reflect light into all the dark spaces near me.

Posted by: Wyatt on January 30, 2005 01:05 PM

All the Weevil bros are bald, to the point of no chance of comb overs, but I at least am quite interested in observing them.

A coworker of mine, who has some resemblance to Woody Allen, has a terrible combover. During the course of a day, it will get away, and hang horizontally out from his head. This is pretty tough to deal with at work. BTW, I'm pretty sure this guy has a PhD.

Posted by: steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) on January 30, 2005 04:47 PM

When you look at me straight on, I've got the mohawk look. It's NOT intentional.

Posted by: Stan on January 30, 2005 07:16 PM
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