Gut Rumbles

January 29, 2005

three times

THREE TIMES in my life, I've been stopped at a traffic light and had some idiot rear-end me. THREE TIMES. The first time was some young boy who had just gotten his driver's license and had not yet developed a clear understanding between brake and accellerator. His daddy paid cash to have my car repaired to keep the bill off the insurance.

The second time, a woman was turned around backward in her seat and spanking the shit out a recalcitrant young'un back there when she suddenly spanked the shit out of ME, too. She hit me pretty hard, but I was okay. Her insurance paid for the damage. I often wondered what kind of ass-whuppin' that kid received when mama got him home.

The third time, a car literally CATAPULTED into me, and just barely clipped my rear bumper. But that was an awesome sight in the rear-view mirror. That car was ROLLING down the road, end-over end like a football and I thought I was gonna die. The damn thing almost missed me entirely. It mightily fucked up some other cars, but broke only a tail light on mine.

I may screw up a string of good luck here, but I've NEVER had a wreck that was my fault. A lot of my friends say that I drive like an old woman. Well, this old bitch hasn't caused a wreck yet, I hope to keep it that way.

(Idea stolen from here.)


Christ, I have been rear-ended three times in the last two years. The most recent one gave my wife whiplash. The kid who hit me didn't have insurance and he ran off after hitting me. Thanks to a witness, he was caught within an hour of hitting me.

On the bright side, the pain and suffering she endured will probably buy us another trip to Europe. The kid lost his license and spent a week in jail.

Posted by: Mikelx on January 29, 2005 10:45 PM

Good job, Mike! Sucked the legal system for a trip to Europe on "pain and suffering.".

ALL FREE, too.... Right?

You fucking pimple.

Posted by: Acidman on January 29, 2005 10:59 PM

Who are you kidding, Acid. I've plunked down upwards of $500 and only received $50 back from the city that prosecuted the kid.

Unless you consider the claims department at Allstate the legal "system", then yeah, I guess so. I may see a lawyer to find out what we should reasonably expect from Allstate, but I ain't going to sue anyone. I don't have the energy or the desire to mess around with that.

Other than that, I reckon you were just talking out of your ass ... again.

Posted by: Mikelx on January 29, 2005 11:20 PM

I drove as a courier for the Federal Reserve for a few years. 350 miles a day, 5 days a week. I've seen WAY more than my fair share of accidents but have never been involved in one (knock on wood).

And, no, I've never CAUSED any either LOL.

Posted by: Chablis on January 30, 2005 07:27 AM

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I rear-ended a guy some years back. The insurance took care of his expenses and then some, I paid a fine, and I thought, that was that. Then he sued me for well more than my insurance. He came to court acting so fucked-up he could hardly move, with his expert witnesses and all. Trouble was, we had video of him putting up a chain link fence, using a post hole digger, and really giving it hell.

The jury saw that and decided he didn't need a trip to Europe, either.

Posted by: Ernie G on January 30, 2005 10:41 AM

The kid who hit me doesn't have any money. He called once to tell me that he could pay me back with his student loan check. He's not very smart.

If this person was older and more established, I would have sued him for punitive damages. But since I can remember being that young and dumb, I am going to cut him some slack. Remember, we are talking about my wife and I being the victims of a hit-and-run.

And just so some of you know, traveling to Europe isn't that expensive - especially when you get there using frequent flyer miles like I do. Of course, we do stay in more expensive hotels when we go to Europe. We generally spend about $5,000 when we go over there, and thus I would feel lucky if we got that much out of Allstate.

Posted by: Mikelx on January 30, 2005 10:58 AM

I've had more rear bumpers replaced on my truck than I care to remember. Always the same story: Some woman in an econobox or "sports" econobox rear ends me doing 50+ at a light because they were doing their nails or yacking on the phone. I get a crumpled bumper and some paint knocked off the hitch, and they get a write-off al la opened sardine can.

Fortunately, I've never been nailed in the car, which is a good thing as I'd be up on murder charges if someone mangled that thing.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on January 30, 2005 11:22 AM

re: your 2nd time...

Why is that the law requires us to put the kids in the backseat (to minimize injury in the inevitable accident) when we could avoid the accident altogether* by putting the kid in the front seat?

*Is "altogether / all together" on your** "chap my ass" list? I used it correctly.***

**I used "your" correctly.
***I used "correctly" correctly.

Posted by: Rob@L&R on January 31, 2005 08:24 AM

It's even more fun getting rear-ended when on a bike. That wonderful free-fall sensation while trajecting over the bars, dontcha know. Made a profit, though. State Farm hates motorcycles so much they totalled the bike for more than I paid for it, then gave me the bike, which I sold for about 1/2 what I paid for it. Fortunately my very expensive helmet worked perfectly and my head went nowhere near the ground.

Posted by: Justthisguy on January 31, 2005 03:01 PM

I got rear-ended by some clown in San Diego. I was on my motorcycle (big bad fire-breathing Suzuki 500 Titan that , NOT being sarcastic, I wish I still had), and pow! There I am laying on the ground and this asshat is standing over me . "I didn't SEEEE you har har har!"

I got out from underneat the bike, found nothing broken on me. I walked up to his still open driver's door and started swining it as hard as I could against the hinge stops. Took about 5 or 6 swings until the limiter popped and I sprung the door really GOOD. I then felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Officer Friendly, telling me I really SHOULD cease further such actions.

"Yeah? Hell! He broke my toy!"

The crowd of witnesses from the sidewalk found that to be very funny.

There was som real justice ouf ot all this: My bike was jammed in 2nd gear but I was able to ride to the repair shop under its own power. Got a new frame out of it and was riding again shortly thereafter. The car had to be towed because my book rack had gone through his radiator.

Posted by: the friendly grizzly on February 1, 2005 10:04 PM
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