Gut Rumbles
 

December 13, 2004

cute

I don't like the word "cute." In fact, I believe that is one of the most foul, useless words in the English language. It's just such a SHITTY description of anything.

"Awww... that's so CUTE!"

What image pops into your mind when you read those words? An infant, stinking to high heaven, in a crap-filled diaper with dried baby-food and puke on it's face? A puppy chewing up one of your favorite shoes? A cat clawing your sofa to shreds? Brad Pitt? A pink, self-lubricating, solar-powered vibrating butt-plug?

Yeah, they're ALL "cute," when described by a woman. "Cute" is a feminine word, and I want to bitch-slap any man I hear use it, unless he says, "Oh, THAT was cute," right before he punches you in the nose for being an asshole. Guys don't like "cute."

Wimmen don't like specifics, because that gets in the way of all their feelings, so "cute" is the perfect way to avoid actually describing anything. It's a one-size-fits-all word that can be used on any occasion and all wimmen hearing it will nod in agreement.

Yes, cute is good. It's non-confrontational and warm, fuzzy and comfortable. Cute. Comfortable. Sweet.

My ass. I would rather be dead than "cute."

Comments

You would then, no doubt, be offended that my wife described you as "cute" when she saw your picture in a recent posting.

Posted by: DocJeff on December 13, 2004 01:40 PM

Cute works for me.. I use it a lot.. but then again, I deal with children all the time..

Posted by: Kate on December 13, 2004 02:01 PM

Awwwww... you're so cute when you're talking about baby shit and butt plugs.

Posted by: Dash on December 13, 2004 02:20 PM

Got to argue with you here. I've seen a number fo women for whom 'pretty' just wasn't the right word. But 'cute' fit real well.

Posted by: Mark on December 13, 2004 02:31 PM

I have to agree with Mark on that one.

Posted by: Sam on December 13, 2004 03:29 PM

Rob, not to worry. "Cute" is the last fucking adjective I think of when I think of you. You're kinda the "Anti-Cute." And I mean that in a good way.

Posted by: Steve on December 13, 2004 03:30 PM

It is the PERFECT reply to a smartass comment. I like it for that. ; )

Posted by: Key on December 13, 2004 03:43 PM

Somebody's just begging for a cute-bombing.

Me, I'd never rant about that word, because I know what would happen.

Posted by: McGehee on December 13, 2004 04:07 PM

Rob, not to worry. "Cute" is the last fucking adjective I think of when I think of you........and you always look shit-faced

Posted by: ocho nueve-diez on December 13, 2004 05:03 PM

This kind of thing is why I like Acidman and the comments: they expicate, cutely, real concepts in a philosophico-realistico way. More fist sandwiches for me, please.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on December 13, 2004 05:05 PM

...Yeah, but.... I'll bet at least Roscoe is cute!

Posted by: Alaska Kim on December 13, 2004 05:25 PM

yes alaska kim........show us your pic!!!!!!

Posted by: ocho nueve-diez on December 13, 2004 05:37 PM

You crazy mexican... I don't have a pic. If you read it again, I said "I'll bet"....

Posted by: Alaska Kim on December 13, 2004 05:41 PM

For what it's worth, never Never NEVER, when your girlfriend asks you how she looks, should you think of responding with "Cute". Should you manage to retain your testicles afterwards, it won't matter, 'cause they won't be put to use with her for quite a while.

She don't wanna be cute! Especially if she IS cute! Just go ahead and lie your ass off. Use a thesaurus set to "Stunning".

I guarantee, you'll never make that mistake twice with the same woman!

Posted by: El Capitan on December 13, 2004 06:18 PM

Don't make Cat shoot you.

Posted by: Velociman on December 14, 2004 06:43 AM

I particularly hate the application of this absurd word to adults. In our usual contemporary fashion of intellectual dishonesty, it disguises lust as innocence.

Posted by: Brett on December 14, 2004 08:49 AM

does cute refer to looks or personality? cuz i been called cute lots of times by guys that don't even know me..? btw..i hate the fucking word..it def should only be used for little kids

Posted by: lauren on April 14, 2005 07:18 PM
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