Gut Rumbles
 

December 13, 2004

a blog party

Our confab in Athens wasn't exactly a blog-meet. It was something else... a prayer meeting or a summit conference or a drunken Southern orgy or... hell, who cares? I don't know exactly what it was, but a few facts were apparent to me.

#1-- Bloggers don't talk much. You have to use a tire-iron to pry a word out of their mouths. I've never seen a bunch of more stone-faced, lip-locked people in my life. Shyness ran rampant.

#2-- Bloggers don't drink much. EVERYBODY brought liquor and beer, but nobody drank any. (BWHAHAHAHAAAA!!!) I almost cried when I tossed all those still-unopened liquor bottles in the trash on Sunday morning. If those people would just loosen up a little, they might be fun to be around.

#3-- Hotels don't understand the nuances of this kind of gathering, and the staff sometimes threatens to call the gendarmes because of complaints (from tight-assed, yankee pucker-butts) about alleged noise coming from the room where everybody is being perfectly silent. We're still not a very high-tech world. Some people cannot tell the difference between "virtual" noise and the real thing.

#4-- Some female bloggers are hotties. (One gives a damn good neck massage, too.) The men are all swine, but the ladies more than take up our slack. We grow sweet magnolias down South.

#5-- If you want to hear deep thoughts and stunning wisdom, enroll in a college philosophy course. If you like a constant stream of knee-deep bullshit flowing like a lazy river, attend a blog-meet. Opinions will NEVER die of loneliness there.

#6-- Nobody is nice, everybody is an anti-social shitass, fights break out all night long and everybody ends up hating everybody else in the morning. I don't know why I bother to go to such disgraceful events. It's a just a nasty, disgusting slice off the worst face of human nature. It's ugly.

You wouldn't want your children to see you there, not after the way YOU behaved during the festivities. Blackmail pictures are a distinct possibility. I don't know why I go.

But I can't wait to do it again.

Comments

stunning wisdom,........okay,thats why EVERYTHING sucks

Posted by: ocho nueve-diez on December 13, 2004 05:35 PM

You don't get invited to blog-meets, do you, 8-9-10? If not, just shut the fuck up.

Posted by: Acidman on December 13, 2004 06:21 PM

Yeah, yeah...and while you were ogling hotties and slamming 'shine, I lay, weakly mewling, in a pool of my own vomit, blood, and pus, just right down the hall. Who you think called the cops?!?!

I kid, I kid! It was great to see everyone again - I only wish I had been able to participate in the whole thing. From the looks of that "morning after" picture, I missed the bulk of the party.

Let's do it again, SOON! And I promise to be well next time. Fightin' fit. Dancing on tabletops.

Posted by: kelley on December 13, 2004 06:21 PM

Anybody have any idea how long it takes to drive from Columbus OH, to Georgia? Just askin... I can do the Crystal Coast of Carolina in about 10.5 from here.

Posted by: RedNeck on December 13, 2004 06:51 PM

HMMM it's about 12 hours from Indy to most places in Georgia. Gotta get a vehicle in shape to make that trip. Only Mama ain't going alone this time!

Posted by: delftsman3 on December 13, 2004 06:59 PM

.. fucking hell, Kelley... that IS rough.. and the description just made me lose my interest in this pizza...

"I lay, weakly mewling, in a pool of my own vomit, blood, and pus, just right down the hall.".. ????

... damn, darling.. it was all Rob's fault, rest assured... the evil bastid... nothing like a blogmeet to cause an infection....

Posted by: Eric on December 13, 2004 07:05 PM

The hell I ain't!

Posted by: Mamamontezz on December 13, 2004 10:37 PM

"I almost cried when I tossed all those still-unopened liquor bottles in the trash on Sunday morning"

Tossed them in the trash? For the love of God WHY?

Oh, well. The maid probably appreciated them . . .

Posted by: kc on December 13, 2004 11:12 PM

I was hitting on Kelley even though she lay in that pool of vomit, blood, and pus. Or perhaps because she was. I have no shame.

Like that backrub, baby?

Posted by: Velociman on December 14, 2004 06:42 AM

See, I hate that. Now we're gonna have to have ANOTHER one next month since my girl missed the bulk of this one... ; )

Posted by: Key on December 14, 2004 02:17 PM

Okay, that does it. Let me know when the next one comes up. Looks like you Georgia crackers need a little errrr Texas discipline there.

Which I'll be happy to provide.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on December 14, 2004 03:20 PM

KC, I can tell you nothing was left unopened, and there was nothing left of anything open...except for the 850lb. cooler that Acidman and I had to haul down to the truck!!!

That's a fact.

Posted by: Sam on December 14, 2004 06:23 PM
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