December 13, 2004
a blog party
Our confab in Athens wasn't exactly a blog-meet. It was something else... a prayer meeting or a summit conference or a drunken Southern orgy or... hell, who cares? I don't know exactly what it was, but a few facts were apparent to me.
#1-- Bloggers don't talk much. You have to use a tire-iron to pry a word out of their mouths. I've never seen a bunch of more stone-faced, lip-locked people in my life. Shyness ran rampant.
#2-- Bloggers don't drink much. EVERYBODY brought liquor and beer, but nobody drank any. (BWHAHAHAHAAAA!!!) I almost cried when I tossed all those still-unopened liquor bottles in the trash on Sunday morning. If those people would just loosen up a little, they might be fun to be around.
#3-- Hotels don't understand the nuances of this kind of gathering, and the staff sometimes threatens to call the gendarmes because of complaints (from tight-assed, yankee pucker-butts) about alleged noise coming from the room where everybody is being perfectly silent. We're still not a very high-tech world. Some people cannot tell the difference between "virtual" noise and the real thing.
#4-- Some female bloggers are hotties. (One gives a damn good neck massage, too.) The men are all swine, but the ladies more than take up our slack. We grow sweet magnolias down South.
#5-- If you want to hear deep thoughts and stunning wisdom, enroll in a college philosophy course. If you like a constant stream of knee-deep bullshit flowing like a lazy river, attend a blog-meet. Opinions will NEVER die of loneliness there.
#6-- Nobody is nice, everybody is an anti-social shitass, fights break out all night long and everybody ends up hating everybody else in the morning. I don't know why I bother to go to such disgraceful events. It's a just a nasty, disgusting slice off the worst face of human nature. It's ugly.
You wouldn't want your children to see you there, not after the way YOU behaved during the festivities. Blackmail pictures are a distinct possibility. I don't know why I go.
But I can't wait to do it again.
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