Gut Rumbles

August 19, 2004

things I like about the south

* Pretty wimmen with red toenails wearing sandals and skimpy shorts.

* Old people who are good story-tellers. They tell the same stories over and over, but the stories are good enough that you never get tired of listening to them.

* Iced tea made a gallon at a time and kept in the refrigerator so that when you come inside all sweaty, it's there for the taking.

* Pickup trucks with dog-boxes in the back and good ole boys who own guns. Yankees call those people "Rednecks," but I call some of them my good friends.
I like 'em better than I do yankees.

* Hot days and summer thunderstorms that put on a light show that's impressive as hell to watch.

* No snow.

* Even hurricanes are better than snow. I'd rather have the roof blow off my house than live in Buffalo, New York. A hurricane is a bad accident. Buffalo gets snow EVERY WINTER.

* Friendly people who don't speak with an accent any different from mine. People in the South believe in hospitality. Wimmen call you "honey" and they don't mind when you call them "darlin.'"

* The best food you'll ever eat. Cornbread baked in a cast-iron skillet, fried okra, grits and sawmill gravy, southern-fried chicken and some things that even the person who cooked it can't duplicate. It's a wonder that I'm not fat. I love that food.

* No such thing as ice-fishing. I've always thought that was crazy as hell and we don't do that bullshit down South. We don't have things freeze outside.

* People with manners. Old farts like ME who say "yes, ma'am" to somebody half my age and kids who always call you "Mister." Parents who ain't afraid to tear up a child's ass when he forgets his manners. They'll learn him right.

I wouldn't choose to live anywhere else in the world. It's hot, we have mosquitoes and some places are more beautiful, but I like it right where I am. I love the South, pure and simple, much like the way Southerners look at life. Pure and simple.

I was blessed to grow up here.


I was born in Savannah Georgia and I am proud to be a Rebel. The South will Rise Again. I have been to many places and even the Yankees that have moved here say, these are the best people in the world. That makes me proud. We were taught well, be nice and treat people, the way you would want them to treat you. I taught my four children, the same.

Posted by: Catfish on August 19, 2004 02:27 PM

Not all Yankees are bad. Of course my roots (and kin) are in the south.

Posted by: Ronda on August 19, 2004 03:09 PM

I was blessed as well.

Posted by: Sam on August 19, 2004 03:36 PM

I think you need to qualify that Yankees label you always toss around. Asshole Yankees are the JFKerry's, the Upper-West-Side Manhattan dwellers, and the northern California nitwits.

Regular Yankees are nothing of the sort. And the special hybrid Yankee Rednecks such as myself could probably move in next to you and you'd never know it, short of the accent.

The south is a great place, but don't make me remind you that you're responsible for Jimmy Carter.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on August 19, 2004 04:11 PM

I NEVER VOTED FOR JIMMY CARTER!!! Not for Governor and not for President. Don't tell me that I'M RESPONSIBLE for that dickweed.

You fucking yankees voted for him. Not me.

Posted by: Acidman on August 19, 2004 04:19 PM

YOU might not have, but a whole lot of crackers down there did, which is why the piece of crap got into office in the first place.

Point being: Don't paint with such a broad brush.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on August 19, 2004 04:21 PM

After Nixon got caught, any Democrat, that ran, would have won. Peanut Carter did suck. He was one of the worst, we ever had. I always vote Republican, I want to keep some of my money, not give it away to everyone.

Posted by: Catfish on August 19, 2004 04:29 PM

Unfortunately, MR. Lion is right. If we use politicians as our gauge, us southerners don't exactly come out smelling of roses. I will only point out that Jimmah was indeed a product of Georgia, and Billy Clintoon was a product of Arkansas.

We Kentuckians have nothing to brag about either, The last time two of our native sons rose to Presidential level, it was Abe Lincoln and Jeff Davis. There was some unpleasantness associated with those two if I recall correctly.

Southern politicians, however, can be quite entertaining on the local level.


Posted by: Roy Greenwell on August 19, 2004 07:27 PM


- WAFFLE HOUSE: Need I say more???
- The fact that at any given moment, you may see a horse, tractor, or sometype of farm machinery on a busy street....

more later

Posted by: Irv on April 5, 2005 01:28 PM

I am a native-born son of the red clay hills. First generation born of the hard-clay-hillside farm...and trying like hades to get back there.
I love MY south. It God...about where you were born. It is the most wonderful place to live.

Posted by: Hikingonthru on July 2, 2009 10:14 AM
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