Gut Rumbles

July 01, 2004

i always wanted a sister

I grew up in a male-dominated household and I played with boys when I was young. I thought girls had cooties and I wanted nothing to do with them until my hormones kicked in and made me a lust-crazed teenager. But by then, I had missed the boat on a whole lot of things a sister could have helped me with.

I didn't understand wimmen and they scared the shit out of me. I WANTED ONE, but I didn't know how to go about accomplishing that goal. I was tongue-tied and foolish in their presence. Asking a girl out for a date once took me three days to work up enough nerve to actually pick up the phone and call. Then, if she went out with me, I acted like a frightened asshole the entire time.

A sister could have helped me. An OLDER sister. If I had a sister when I was growing up, SHE could have familiarized me with feminine undergarments, told me that girls like sex, too, and that wimmen are just as afraid of men as men are of wimmen. Alas, I was cast adrift in those days and I had to learn all those hard lessons on my own.

Damn! I miss the sister I never had.


"i always wanted a sister"

You hear that a lot in West Virginia.

Posted by: Ogre on July 1, 2004 04:10 PM

That ain't fair, Ogre!

Posted by: Acidman on July 1, 2004 04:21 PM

So...You went from a lust-crazed teen ti a lust-crazed man...I still want you anyway! I could be the older sister you never had and teach you all I know!!

Posted by: Chelle on July 1, 2004 04:47 PM

only a man who has never had an older sister could possibly say something like "i always wanted a sister. you have no idea what my older sister put me throught before she went and joined the coast guard. you have no idea how fucked up it can be to have an older sister who played football...
as a linebacker...
at a military academy ...

next time you think about wanting a sister, gimme a call. ill give mine away for free.

Posted by: apossiblemadman on July 1, 2004 06:40 PM

I have three sisters, and No You Don't!

Posted by: wes jackson on July 1, 2004 10:44 PM

I hear ya. I coulda used a sister, too.

Posted by: Hank on July 1, 2004 11:17 PM

I should've been that kind of sister to my two baby brothers, but I was still too fucked up myself at the time.

Maybe I needed a big brother.

Posted by: shell on July 2, 2004 01:47 PM

3844 Thanks so much for all the help to buy ink cartridges

Posted by: inkjet cartridges on September 5, 2004 05:48 PM
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