Gut Rumbles

July 01, 2004

i've wanted to do that

Yes, I'll admit it. I have wanted to murder Chuck E. Cheese, the fucking rat, with my bare hands more than once. Kids may like the place, but I don't. To me, it is a loud, rambunctious, out-of-control Thunderdome for the young that makes really shitty pizza.

The only redeeming quality about the one in Savannah is that they serve beer, too, so I can get quietly tanked while watching otherwise civilized children run amok all over the place. I can take such an experience only in small, occasional doses.

You can drop a lot of money in that place and end up with nothing more than a car full of hyper-activated children, screaming and fighting while clutching cheap, plastic toys in their hands, thanks to all the coupons they "won" playing arcade games. Most of those toys last about two days and then end up in pieces clogging the intake of your vacuum cleaner.

Yeah, I am convinced. Chuck E. Cheese should DIE!!!

But I like this line from the story:

Chuck E. Cheese's is a nationwide chain of pizza restaurants that caters to small children and the parents they bring along. Its namesake, mascot and main attraction is a friendly man-sized rat wearing a baseball cap.

Sounds a lot like Michael Moore to me.


I've been Chuck E. when I was just getting my feet wet in the job world. First job in fact. I eventually got booted outa the kitchen crew into full time Mouse patrol becasue I was the only one that didn't bitch whine and moan about being in the f*cking suit.

Posted by: GT on July 1, 2004 03:48 PM

I think you meant "Rat Bastard"

Posted by: Ken on July 1, 2004 05:38 PM

Naw, couldn't be Moore. The "friendly" part disqualifies him...

Posted by: Steve Gigl on July 1, 2004 05:52 PM

Chuck's offense? Not paying enough attention to the woman's child

Ah, so they changed the name to "Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza & Daycare" since the days that I visited such establishments as a wee tike.

Oh, wait -- they haven't?

Then that bitch mom can cram it up her ass.

Anyway, I was more of a fan of "Showbiz Pizza" than "Chuck E. Cheese" back in the ol' days. And even as a small child I didn't care about the lame animatronic shit; I just wanted to blow some tokens on video games.

Ooh, anyone remember the coin-op keyboard-driven multi-purpose thing that could, among other things, covert text to speech? Tee hee, what fun it was to spell obscenities in various phonetic forms in order to avoid the dreaded, "Billy Bob won't say that word" notice of word filtration. For some reason, Rob, I'm guessing that if you were around that you would've been all too happy to give me such phonetical suggestions. "Try typing in 'phuwk u'. No? Okay, try 'phawk u'. All right! Paydirt!"

Posted by: D.J. M.B. on July 1, 2004 06:00 PM

Man-sized? Hell, Moore's twice the man I am! Maybe three or four times...

Posted by: jim on July 1, 2004 09:25 PM

Ah, the joy of being childless.

Posted by: Juliette on July 2, 2004 01:23 AM

CEC is a great place to go if you want a head ache.

Posted by: FloridaBill on July 2, 2004 08:05 AM

What always freaks me out is how the animatronic things twitch in between sets.
It's creepy.

Posted by: Graumagus on July 2, 2004 12:22 PM

Naaah, Chuck E. Cheese the Rat is a lot better looking than Michael the Fat

Posted by: Rivrdog on July 2, 2004 11:26 PM

i actually work at chuck e. cheese's. i gotta say its a fucking headache to hear the kids screaming all day. i dread going to work each day. and let me tell you, the mouse suit is hot as hell. but u guys should keep up to date on your facts, theres no more animatron action except for one of chuck e. plus, ive never heard of anyone complaining about the pizza, on the contrary, most people love it. i guess i wouldnt either if i was busy sucking cock all day like trackback. but hes right, the prizes suck balls. and its a rip-off, you can buy the prizes if you wish, 1 ticket=1 dollar, say you had 500 tickets, youd actually end up using twenty dollars in tokens. overall, the only good thing there is the food. the bad is the poor white trash conservative hillbilies, not unlike yourselves...

Posted by: ben ben on September 8, 2004 06:37 AM

took a job as a Tech. Manager at Chuckie E. Cheeses, hoping for a nice quite job, what the hell happened? With in the first weeks of this job, I got the flu, momo, and a server staph infection. The workers comp lady came to see me in the hospital and ask me very personal questions, like what I did I do in the military and was I sexual active, and how old was my son?
I did some checking and these restaurants have been sighted for many, many health violations. I did not have ax to grind with the Chuck but when the GM came in and said to a cast member who had acne bad, you need to shave! I went off! The GM told me that nice guys finish last, and this is a place to take the kids?
Go ahead violate the I-9 forms, while the real Americans stand in line at the employment office.
I use to take my son to the chuck and cut him loose, now, Oh no; we will go to the park, fly a kit before I take him the cesspool of bacteria/virus at the Chuckie….

Another lady told me this:I would never take my daughter here again. This place is not clean and the people that work here are young kids trying to make a couple of dollars and they do not care. I think that this place can be better if they did a re organization. My friend took her kid here as well and got sick from another kid because that kid had pink eye.
Do not take your kids here!

Check the DPH web site before you go to any chuckie cheeses, and I feel you will make another choice.

Posted by: Steve on December 28, 2005 10:00 AM
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