Gut Rumbles
 

August 29, 2003

let's see...

I've been called nasty names, I've been called ignorant, I've been a victim of identity theft, I've been told of my propensity for child abuse and I've been accused of animal cruelty, all from people who wouldn't know me if I choke-slammed them to the ground and stole their fucking money while leaving a few good kicks in the ribs to remember me by.

Aw, shit. They'll call me a thief now.

I'm leaving for the Golden Isles of Georgia in a few minutes, where I intend to chase pussy (and I hope I catch some), work on my suntan, read a couple of good books, eat some really delicious seafood and abuse my liver at Tiki Bars for the next three days. You trolls can have a party in the comments while I'm gone.

my most excellent guest bloggers are welcome to post until i return.

Your user names and passwords are still functional, so feel free to drop by if you have the hankering. It's your call, but you have the keys to my place. C'mon in if you want to. Keep the couch warm.

Other than that, I am outta here. See you on Monday.

I hope I have grand stories to tell.

Comments

Have a good time, Rob..will miss your rantings over the next few days...:)

Posted by: Lisa on August 29, 2003 03:08 PM

jeebus! don't runa way now. dont' let these idiot trolls win. you said nobody cud make you stop blogging and now your given up??

So what, maybe it does suck being you, but no asswipe like hopkins or the other tards should make it so tough for you to give in.

you make it sound like YOU abused!! all whiny and feeling osrry for yourself. Jeebus man, where are your balls

Posted by: No Doze on August 29, 2003 03:16 PM

My balls are going to be on Jekyll Island for the next three days. If you read my blog regularly, you would know that I made reservations days ago.

Posted by: Acidman on August 29, 2003 03:28 PM

YOU ARE A PUSSY if you can't take it. You like to hand it out but poor needle- dick Acidweenie can't take it. Boo hoo.

Posted by: Sanitary Napkin on August 29, 2003 03:31 PM

At leased you kids will be safe for a few days.

Posted by: Marta on August 29, 2003 03:36 PM

Damn you mean you can lease your kids. I thought you had to buy them.

Posted by: Rick on August 29, 2003 03:40 PM

Trolls don't bother to read with comprehension; they just seize key words out of context and run [off at the mouth] with them.

Posted by: MommaBear on August 29, 2003 03:51 PM

BWHAHAHAHAAA!!

Trolls LOVE me!

Posted by: Acidman on August 29, 2003 04:03 PM

Yo, goomba, did you write this:
I've been called nasty names, I've been called ignorant, I've been a victim of identity theft, I've been told of my propensity for child abuse and I've been accused of animal cruelty, all from people who wouldn't know me if I choke-slammed them to the ground and stole their fucking money while leaving a few good kicks in the ribs to remember me by.

you reckon you could really do this? First youse have to stop whinning like a silly fat girl, and then, think of what might happen to your purse while youse was rolling the fuck down on the ground>

Posted by: Tony on August 29, 2003 04:04 PM

Have a great time. *HUGS* Trease

Posted by: Trease on August 29, 2003 04:13 PM

Damn! You know you have a good blog when you get the Trolls! LOL ;)

As for "running away"... Its labor day weekend numbnuts! I'd be hitting the beach too, if I lived anywhere close to one.

Posted by: Marc on August 29, 2003 04:54 PM

Aren't you gonna follow the Ga game>> Tide is on Espn 3:00 your time and the Aubun tiggers play USC @6:00 yur time on CBS ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!! GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: DaneBramage on August 29, 2003 05:41 PM

these trolls are some weak-ass motherfuckers.

Posted by: DaneBramage on August 29, 2003 05:42 PM

Have a great weekend!

Oh and trolls have a short term memory. By the time you return, they'll be back under the bridge playing with themselves again.

Posted by: Chablis on August 29, 2003 06:09 PM

Just when I try to get out, they pull me back in!

Posted by: Velociman on August 29, 2003 06:13 PM

Have a great time! Hopefully you come back with some great stories about the "Life of Roscoe" or you returned relaxed enough to really raise some hell with the "trolls"

Posted by: drex35 on August 29, 2003 08:31 PM

Dear Acidman -

If you are a supporter of the Iranian people, unite with other bloggers around the world and join the BLOG-IRAN grassroots campaign. If you are interested please visit http://www.activistchat.com/blogiran/

We hope to hear from you!
In Unity & Struggle,
Haleh
activistchat.com

Posted by: Haleh on August 29, 2003 08:51 PM

The only pussy A-Man has a remote chance of catching is a tomcat with 3 legs.

Posted by: BJK on August 30, 2003 08:37 AM

I've been wondering. Can Acidman get himself off with his Roscoe?

I know Bush has taken a strong stand on masturbation. His advisors claim masturbation i is more dangerous than atheism.

Doctors of a generation ago knew this, but over the course of recent Democratic administrations, and their prevailing philosophy of "if it feels good, do it" - this problem has spiralled out of control.
Myth: Masturbation is harmless.
Reality: Medical science proves that chronic masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.
Myth: There are bigger problems than masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!
Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! It is true that Onan wasn't masturbating, but the point is that God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.
Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on masturbation have come to the conclusion that masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.
Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for masturbation being outlawed.
Reality: Masturbatory devices are already illegal in President Bush's home state Texas. The police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law.
Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't masturbate.
How to stop the current epidemic of Democrat-approved self-abuse in America? We will employ precisely the same tactics, legislation, and get-tough attitude that has been so successful in the War On Drugs.
Control of Paraphernalia: Drug abuse has been slashed by the outlawing of drug accessories such as syringes and marijuana pipes. In order to get tough on masturbation, we will eliminate masturbatory paraphernalia. This means outlawing such things as:
"Personal Vibrators" and other masturbatory devices such as dildos and blow-up dolls.
ALL indecent art. This includes paintings, sculptures and photographs. We don't need the Victoria's Secret catalog! Simple, modest underwear would sell itself and minimize unGodly temptations.
Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to masturbate.

Intensive Urine Testing: Science has discovered that men produce sperm cells constantly. All that sperm has to go somewhere! If an unmarried man doesn't masturbate, all the sperm cells he produces end up in his urine. Going forward, all unmarried men will be required to submit frequent urine samples, which will be examined under a microscope. If an unmarried man has a low concentration of sperm cells in his urine, it means he has been having orgasms - and therefore is guilty of either masturbation or fornication and should will be incarcerated. Random urine testing in the War On Drugs has been a very powerful weapon. We will not hesitate to harness it for use in the War On Masturbation!
Zero Tolerance: Just as police departments seize the cars and homes of people who are caught with drugs, Operation Infinite Purity calls for the homes and SUVs of people caught masturbating to be taken away without due process and auctioned off, with all proceeds going to augmenting similar anti-masturbation law enforcement.
Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated masturbation among their women! How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a Clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. A woman who has had a Clitoridectomy is permanently cured of masturbation and other lascivious behavior, and is ready to resume her life as a decent and productive member of American society.
Furthermore, Operation Infinite Purity makes Clitoridectomies mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery isn't just for females! Castration for adult males will become the standard punitive measure for repeat masturbatory offenders.

Posted by: mommabear on August 30, 2003 12:54 PM

The one and only MommaBear, here...MB would never write drivel like that, and the readership knows it !! Pathetic little children need to have their diapers changed and be put back in their cribs.

They can have their puerile silliness; the real MB knows how to write!

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