Gut Rumbles

May 31, 2003

thanks for the memories

I may write again on this blog, or I may not. Either way, it won't be anytime soon. I don't like what I see happening in blogdom now, where marketing is more important than your soul, and I am just sick and tired of writing on this site every day when I don't market it correctly. I never expected to be a salesman when I started writing, and I don't expect to be a salesman now.

I AM NOT a salesman.

Take it away, Venomous Kate. You know all the chords.

stick a fork in me

I'm done, folks. I decided to delete EVERYBODY from my blogroll.

ritual de-linking

The voting confused me. I don't know which way to turn. It's either Dawn Olsen or all of the above. Or it could be an indication that I have blogged long enough and I should just quit this crap.

I started this project because my blogroll was getting too long and now it's longer than ever. Hell, I was about to add some more before I came to my senses.

I think I might delete me.

acidman on golf

That dickwitted woman who excoriated me for being "physically and mentally unattractive" (she also called patrick ruffini a "sophomoric blogger," just so you understand how sophisticated she is) wants Annika Storenstam to play again on the men's PGA tour. Annika doesn't want to.

Annika learned her lesson. There is a HUGE difference between what the men do every week and what the ladies do on the LPGA tour. I've read other bloggers (it's in there. I just didn't bother to go find the exact post) belittle golf as a game that's not very physical. People who say that are wrong.

I once was a pretty fair golfer. I have no doubt that I could drag my dusty clubs out of the garage today and break 90 on a local course. I have enough muscle memory to handle that job.

But I'm talking about a LOCAL COURSE, one that I've played over and over, so that I know where to hit my shots with what club and where NOT to miss. That's a course where I know the greens and how the putts break.

The PGA pros play a different course every week and they don't have a lot of time to learn the tricks. Plus, they walk all eighteen holes. That may not sound like much to anyone who has never walked eighteen holes at Augusta National (I didn't play there, but I walked it), but those hills are killers. Golf is more physical for the pros than most people realize.

And it's a mental killer. The pros don't ride around drinking beer in a golf cart the way I do. Every shot is a money shot to them. That's what they do for a living, and when one bogey can cost you $90,000, the pressure is intense.

I played golf with a PGA professional once in my life. I thought I was a hot-shot at the time. We played from the blue tees (long for me, short for him) and I knew on the second hole that he was in another dimension from me. The hole is a par four with a big canal about 275 yards from the tee. If I hit my driver well, I could be on the edge of the canal and have a 9-iron to the green.

He flew the canal with his drive and ended up on the fringe of the green, 340 yards away. He sank a 20-foot putt from there and eagled the hole.

That's what Annika Storenstam was up against. And she could not compete any better than I could.

She worked out for six months to get ready for that tournament, and she still couldn't run with the Tall Dogs. Most men can't. NO WOMAN can.

That's one of those unpleasant facts of life that some people, usually lefty butt-wipes, refuse to understand. Everybody can't be that good. It is a Chosen Few who play golf for money and get rich at it. They have the talent, the strength and the mental toughness to do it. Not many people have all of that in one package. You don't make things better by lowering the standards.

Anybody who believes that Annika had a chance to do more than make the cut on the shortest course the men play all year is delusional. But I believe I said that already. She never had a chance.

The GUYS are too good.

veil off, veil on


Yeah, she needs a driver's license. And a bumper sticker that says "Fuck-Knuckle At The Wheel." If a Florida court takes this lawsuit seriously, a judge needs to be dragged off and shot. Why didn't she sue the cops over the arrest picture, for crying out loud?

The woman is a nutball. Period. She should move to San Francisco and live among her own kind.

(Pictures shamelessly stolen from the dog-snot diaries, who shamelessly stole them from somewhere else.)

i think she likes me

Whoo-hoo! I found a lefty, delusional asswipe (she posts on Blogshit, so just scroll down if you want to waste some valuable time you could spend sleeping) in my referrals this morning! She had THIS to say about me:

The physically and mentally unattractive blogger at Gut Rumbles, Rob, has quite a few things to say about women bloggers, and women in general.

Yes, I do. But I prefer to be called "Acidman" on my blog. That asshole "Rob" is the guy who goes to work every day and pays child support to a fornicating, adulterous ex-wife. (Hell, as long as we're talking about my opinion of women, I thought I would throw in that little factoid.) Rob keeps his mouth shut and does what the judge told him to do. Acidman rants about it.

Ladies, this one doesn't qualify to take out our garbage.

And you don't qualify to kiss my Cracker ass, because YOU are the garbage that I would NEVER take out. Listen to yourself here, asswipe:

After playing well the first day, Annika Sorenstam failed to make the cut for the PGA. Afterward, chastened, she said something I hope she will recant.

"It was a great week but I've got to go back to my tour, where I belong," Sorenstam said. "I'm glad I did it, but this is way over my head."

Maybe so. Maybe not. It is doubtful she can tell after one attempt under trying circumstances. I believe she should try again.

Farthead, the PGA tour is way over MOST MEN'S HEADS! You believe she should try again? Why? Are you stuck in that "I am woman, I am strong" horseshit from the 70s? It don't work that way on the PGA Tour, sweetie, and Annika knows it.

You want the best woman golfer in the world to suffer MORE humiliation? She'll get her ass beat like a drum every week if she goes out with the men on a course a LOT more difficult than the one she picked to play.

Oh... I know the solution to that problem. We need to "gender-norm" that prejudical game, let her play from the women's tees, institute a "no three-putt" rule for her and spot her two strokes per side. Then, maybe, she can be a "champion" on the men's tour.

People like you make me want to puke. People like you give us crap like this.

Politically-correct numbskull. Holier-than-thou fucktard. Ignorant dumbfuck. Walking piece of shit-for-brains. Ugly bag of mostly crap. Go take a douche and put the tube in you ear. Maybe you'll disinfect what passes for a brain in your empty head.

Now, you may insult me at your leasure, since you weren't MAN ENOUGH to do it to my face, you whimpering, sniveling pussy. Go suck Atrious. And fuck yourself while you're at it.

It's personal now, asswipe.

Read the origin of her page name.

There is a rural legend that poor, semi-literate African-Americans misunderstood what was being said when civil rights workers came to register them to vote in the Deep South during the 1950s and '60s. They said they wanted their 'silver rights.' I don't know if the legend is true, but I like the phrase.

Yeah... weren't the ignorant darkies so CUTE? Bejus, you condescending lefties chap my ass.

May 30, 2003

thank you

I asked 20 people to follow the link to the blog contest last night. If you check right wing news, who DOES NOT hide his stats, you'll discover that I have 46 refurrals from "Gut Rumbles" and I had 12 more today from my old URL which has now vanished off his list.

I asked for twenty and received triple that number in less than 24 hours. I would say something smarmy, such as "You LIKE ME! You really LIKE ME!" but I'm not going to do that.

I am Acidman. I don't give a shit whether you like me or not.

But I thank everyone who went to John's place so quickly. I mean that.


makes sense to me

I totally agree with right wing news with this take on Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction.

I Still Expect To Find WMD In Iraq: I have to admit that I was surprised that we didn't almost immediately find with Weapons of Mass Destruction after we took Iraq. After all, you don't refuse to tell how you destroyed your WMD, have thousands of chem protection suits made for your soldiers, refuse to cooperate with inspectors, build rockets that can carry WMD, keep your scientists from talking to inspectors, have bioweapon labs made, & take tens of billions of dollars in sanctions losses if you don't have a WMD program. Hell, the inspectors even found a previously disclosed artillery shell filled with mustard gas that the Iraqis hadn't destroyed well before the war started. So given all that, it's hard to come up with a scenario that would explain why all those things were going on if Saddam didn't have WMD.

I believe that they are in Iraq, just well-hidden. Iraq is a big country with a lot of good hiding places for things that don't require a lot of room to hide. We'll stumble across them, eventually.

That's why I would be very hesitant to jump on the leftist bandwagon and decry the war as absolute bullshit right now. If we bring peace and freedom to Iraq, you'll look like a goddamned idiot in 2004 for taking that stance. If we bring peace and freedom to Iraq and also find weapons of mass destruction, you'll look like ten times an idiot.

The "truth" is not what the New York Times decides to print (or not to print) anymore. This is the era of the Internet, and what you do now can be Googled up to haunt you later. I would be very careful about what I said, if I were one of those envy-driven, power-hungry Democrats jockying for position right now.

You people are setting yourself up for a Scarlet Letter ("A" for asshole) if things don't play out exactly your way. I would be respectful of the consequences of being wrong.

But that's just MY humble opinion.

a horrible confession

I have Quinton and Young Jack again this weekend. After we cleaned out a pizza for supper, I rented the movie Jackass on Dish network. It is a horrible, low-rent, disgustingly idiotic movie.

The three of us laughed our asses off at it.

There is a place in this world for horrible, low-rent, disgustingly idiotic things. Just look at my blog.

friday five

1. What do you most want to be remembered for?

I hope that I eventually write something that people read for a long time after I'm gone. Life is short, but good words live long lives.

2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?

"Who knows? Who cares? Why bother?"

3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?

Not killing myself when I contemplated doing it soooo many times. I am NOT a happy camper.

4. What about the past ten years?

Everything I was proud of for ten years is gone. I live on scraps and memories now. I'm not proud of a goddam thing except my son anymore.

5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?

Don't do what I did with YOUR life.

Now there's a Friday Five that fits me.

a sex tutorial

He won't eat grits, but lionel mandrake seems to be perfectly comfortable gnawing on Bearded Conch. Hell, so am I, but I eat grits, too.

By the way, I prefer nipples that resemble .45 caliber bullets.

I agree

In MY humble opinion, The Wild Bunch is the best western ever made. I've watched it at least 40 times and I'm still not tired of it. Bishop Pike, Lyle and Tector Gorch, Angel and Dutch. Whatta bunch. Here are my favorite quotes from that movie:

#1) "It ain't your WORD that COUNTS! It's WHO you give it to!"

#2) "Why NOT?"

#3) "Start the ball, Tector."

#4) "Kiss my mama's black cat's ass."

#5) "Mexico lindo." "I don't see nothin' so 'lindo' about it. Just looks like more of Texas to me."

If you've never seen the movie, the quotes won't make any sense to you, and you deserve to be dragged off and shot. That's why I liked the fact that a man from the land of Oz posted this idea on his blog:

Movie crossover I'd like to see:

Young Guns vs. The Wild Bunch

Pike, Dutch and the Gorch brothers would have turned those whiny, pansy-assed brat-packers into fertilizer.

Heh! He's right.

UPDATE: Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about, just look at the Wild Bunch cast:

Bishop Pike-- played by William Holden
Tector Gorch-- played by Warren Oates
Lyle Gorch-- played by Ben Johnson
Dutch-- played by Ernest Borgnine

Bit parts were played by Strother Martin, L.Q. Jones, Robert Reed and they all were directed by Sam Peckinpah. You not only see and hear that movie... you SMELL