Gut Rumbles

January 31, 2004

blog meet

My birthday is February 16. That's a Monday and it sucks for a blog-meet. February 14, however, is a Friday and I see and excellent opportunity there. If enough people are interested, I'll set it up.

Just let me know.

another reason that I don't hunt.

Some people get killed in the woods and it's no accident.

Lying on the ground bleeding was Bruce Dodson, 48, with an orange hunting vest at his side. His wife of three months, Janice, was screaming for help. "I picked up the orange vest and was just screaming at him: 'Why didn't you have your vest on?' " Janice said.

Sumbitch should have been wearing that vest. He's a clear case of death by dumbass.

Bruce was beyond help. He seemed destined to be yet another victim of a hunting accident, mistaken for game — a mistake that would repeat itself more than 100 times that year. But the day after, an autopsy revealed Bruce hadn't taken just a single bullet, but three. Bill Booth, an investigator for the district attorney's office, said he started to believe this was homicide.

Three shots, huh? That does sound kind of of fishy.

Booth says he thinks Bruce then took off his vest to wave it around, and started yelling to tell people he was not a deer. But then Bruce was shot in the chest, and as he was falling, he was hit once more in the back, Booth says.

The third bullet struck a fence post before it hit Bruce. Investigators traced the bullet's path to what they believed was the assassin's nest, where they found a spent cartridge from a .308-caliber bullet. Neither Bruce nor Janice were hunting with such a weapon.

But investigators soon discovered that Janice Dodson's ex-husband, J.C. Lee, was camped just three-quarters of a mile away. Just the day before the murder, Lee had reported a .308-rifle stolen.

Coincidence is an amazing thing, isn't it?

She'd taken out three insurance policies, she made sure to get wills done," Daniels said. "Bruce owned two homes. She had the property put into both their names during this three months since they were married."

I think we've got a Black Widow here.

January 30, 2004

i did it again

For those of you who accuse me of recycling the samw onle bilge of this blog, you've got me again right here. Fuck those crazy, treee-hugging greens.

Frontpage Interview: Mr. Driessen, welcome to Frontpage Interview. In your book, you show that the green agenda actually fuels the impoverishment of many poor people in developing nations. Could you tell our readers briefly how the environmentalists do this in the name of “corporate social responsibility” and “saving the planet”?

Driessen: Radical greens are masters at devising exaggerated, imaginary and bogus eco-catastrophes – then imposing policies that give them unprecedented power, deprive other people of their freedoms and opportunities, impoverish entire nations, and cause not just impoverishment, but incalculable misery, disease and death. Of course, they claim their actions are motivated by concern for people, animals and the planet. However, the ecological benefits are often minimal to existent, the human toll is profound, and the absence of real compassion, ethics or social responsibility is glaring

Environmentalism isn't a philosophy. It's a goddman religion, and it ain't a good one. I'll believe that way until I see change changing and they aren't right now.

oogly boogly

I once witnessed a scene similiar ro this one a long time ago. It happened in my bedroom after one two many Krystal cheeseburgers and a bottle of peppermint schnapps.

I knew that she was hot to trot, but I didn't realize that she was about to go nuclear. Man, that shit ran my dog off for three days and ruined my waterbed. We had to tug the carcass out of the house using a chain a and 4-wheel drive druck.

I let some of my crabber friends cut all they wantd for bait, and the local wildlife got in a nibble ot two, also. But that thing was getting awfully funky after three days. Flies came from miles around to enjoy the show. We had to put a stop to this.

We bought a bucket of fuel oil and collected a truckload of sticks from the woods. We built a raging pyre on his ass and cooked him down to bones. By then, we dug a whole deep enough with shovels in to bury him in the yard.

That was ugly work and the place stuck like dead fish for a month.

blog meet

I can't get tallies to work of the post, so I'll make a suggestion. Chruchill's Pub, 9 Drayton Street, Savannah,

Wednesday, Feb 18, 2009. commencing at 7:00 PM. If you would rather Make it a Friday or a Saturday, just let me know. We have enough bloggers within 50 miles to put on a good show, and if some on the Atlanta and Jacksonville and honory Jawja Bloggers want to come, we should have a hoot.
A couple of you can even stay at the Crackerbox if you don't lind a modicum of filth.

he would lose in a landslide

I don't expect to see such a candidate in my lifetime, it but would be nice to hear a President say, "People, we can't aford any more spending. We've already overtaxed, nothing but IOUs exist in the Sccial Scecruty Trust Fund, so that leaves a simple decision. We've got to cut spending."

Voters would lynch him. They want their pie from the sky and they don't care how it gets here.

Bush's new budget will also estimate this year's budget deficit at about $520 billion, the congressional sources said. That would easily surpass the $375 billion shortfall of last year, the highest deficit ever in dollar terms.

Just Monday, the Congressional Budget Office projected this year's red ink would total $477 billion.

The new estimate comes as Bush braces for a difficult election-season fight with Congress over spending - after a budget year that he can hardly expect to top.

Although Bush sends his 2005 budget to Congress next week, lawmakers only last week completed their spending work for 2004. That process saw Bush win virtually all his major priorities including a tax cut, new Medicare prescription drug coverage, funds to fight a war with Iraq, and overall spending restraint.

Thank Bejus for all that spending restraint Bush has shown. The era of big government never ended and it never will. It's just going to grow like cancer, consume more of our money and steal our rights. Nobody is going to stop it or even slow it down.

Vested interests will see to that fact.

January 29, 2004


I dreamed that I was back in Jamaica last night. I had a good time on that trip.I did more drugs in 24 hours than I did in the lst 24 years. As I told my partner, I don't usually get fucked up like this. But I was enjoying myelf and she didn't seem to mind. "You're on vacation she said. Go for it." We were drinking rum and tequila. That stuff helped my mind a great deal.
I finally staggered off to bed and slept until alsmost 9:30 in the morning.

She wanted to go for a walk on the beach and I wanted a shower. I told her that we would meet at the breakfast bar in 30 minutes. I got there first and managed to sneak a Bloody Mary on the tab. My partner arrived shortly thereafter and ordered everything in the menu. For a slender woman, she can eat like a horse. We bought lobster tail, bammi and acki, just so the resteaurant would cook it for us. When in Jamaica, eat Jamacian.

I learned two things about my woman on that trip. She can pee outdoors with the best of them and there's not a shy bone in her body. I believe that like like pagan wimmen. They remind me of me.

That's for the trip, pattner. I thouroughly enjoyed it. Wanna do it again sometime?

blog meet

These things always get cancelled because we can't manage to get 5 blogggers together in Savannah. I know that that's's a got-dam lie beause I already know more than 5 Jawja bloggers from this vicinity, plus a few others who would not mind making a short ride to get here.

We'll meet at Chucrhill's pub, eat. drink and be merry, then retire to a hospilitaty suite at a local hotel, where titty-flashing and guitar music may proceed at leasure. I'll even show off the Bionic Roscoe as my science fair project. That'll give you ladies something to think about.

Anyway, if you people would like to get together again, let me know. I'm good at handling logiticics. And I think ii woul be a hoot, even better than the last time.

If you're interested, email me at

January 28, 2004


I put my truck in the ditch yesterday. Yes, I was riding that most wel-maintined dirt road in Effingham county when that wet sumbitch caves in on me. The edge of the road feli off and I went up the the gunnels in my truck.

I was standing the side of the road smoking a cigarette.

A guy diving a 4-wheel-drive Dodge Dualie then pulls out and stops. " Mr, do you meed a pull?"

"Sir, I believe that I do unless I intend NOT to do.spend the night in the ditch on the got-damned dirt road in the middle of nowhere,"

"Don't worry, buddy. I'll get you out.'

He did, too. I tried to tip him $20 when we were unhooking the chain, but he wouldn't take it. "Just remember that it drives better on the road next time you're out here."

Those are the people I live with in Effingham County.


Really. You guys ought to try this.

Next time any of you decide to throw a pity party, I'll give you the name of my caterer. I got da blue pills, da red pills, da smokie-smokie, da drinkie-drinkie, the list goes on.

Don't tell me how to live my life. I'm mellow, and I'm happy. Who gives a fuck if I've bathed or dressed today?

Okay, so intellect and proper grammar were once important to me. How anal was I?

Yeah, I like this guy better. If you want to feed me some sympathy, feel free. I eat that shit up, but truthfully, I'm quite pleased with myself.

This way I don't have to think about my past, which I can't seem to separate myself from. And I don't have to think about my future and the future of my son, for which I should be spending a considerable portion of my days planning.

Don't call me a fucking hypocrite. I can whine over the lost talent in Arlington Cemetary while pissing away my own.

What of it?

too much truth this morning.

I enjoy laughing at people who actually believe in fairness. Do you know what's really fair? It's whatever you can get your ass away with.

Fair will be angel on your shoulder sometimes, and then it will tun right around and slap the dog-shit out of you. That's what you get from playing fair. I still try to play fair but I'll let the othter person set the rules. If he wants to be fair, I'll be fair. But if he wants to cheat like a rat at my neck, we'll just have to decide who the biger rat. I have no problem playing by your rules.

But that's why I could never be a politician. I have no problem being a rat when the situation requires it.

Polilitcs, just makes a rat too much off being my ambition., leaves me old. A rat is not my political ambition. I just want to be left anione.

Politicians can't do that. They are men full of ambition and bullshit The idea of leaving people alone never enters into their thinking.


just pick one

John Kerry appears to be riding high in the polls now, which I believe is a really good thing. That French-looking , Herman Munster concoction stands about as much chance of beating Bush as a snowball has of surviving in hell. Yeah, let's sent a ketchup-rich asshole to complete in the South. He'll die in a landslide.

I'll give you a secret hint to about the South. We like our crooked polictians. We admire their abiility to lie like dogs,.We admire their ability to lie with pretty hair. But you let a french-looking Massachusettes pinheads try tht shit HERE and see what happens. He'll be hide out of here so fast on a pine rail that he won't have a chance to count the tar and feathers trailing behind him.

John Kerry is not going to impress American voters. He'll get the Taxachusettes voters and their Ben and Jerry chohorts, but he can't win this country. He's just too fuked up.

So, I thinksthe Dems are well on their was to picking a prize looser.

January 27, 2004


The idea of paying reparations to descendents of slaves in this country is absoluely repugnant to me. Deny the fact if you wish, but slaves brought to this country got the best break they ever had in thier lives. Yeah, they suffered slavery, Jim Crow, segregation and many other woes during their history, but they survived snd prospered. Among all the petty bitching that occurs today. not many people believe that blacks have it worse in this country than anywhere else in the world.

They don't, and they don't quit the moonbartking about what they are "owed." The pure act of whining "gimme something for nothing," does not mean that you are owed got-dam thing. Think about 600,000 dead troops who fought over slavery.

Kiss my Cracker ass. Get off your wide-assed bootie and get a job, you greedy assrats.

While this case bites the dust,it won't be the last one. I fear that eventually, some compassion-bloated nitwit will get these reparations to pass. The real reason for doing so will be just to "shut those whining bastards up," which is a truly great reason for passing stupid legislation.

It's a stupid idea. but its time is coming soon. Just wait and see.

January 26, 2004

lit up

Smashed, blitzed, hammered, shit-face, wrecked, wasted, knee-crawling, drunker'n a pissant, fucked- up, whacked, slammed, and all way to "That'd be a wonderful idea. Do your people have nice jails here?"

My head has not been right since last Thursday. AND I DIDN'T SMUGGLE ANYTHING. I'm too old for that shit and I don't run as fast anymore.

I was beginning to worry about myself. I could still walk, broken foot and all, but I started thinking like a burnt-out old hippie. I recognized the symptoms and quickly banged my head into a cinder block wall 30' away. Once I regained consciousnes, I was all better.

what? we're being told lies?

With our tireless watchdog media out there diligently seprating fact from fictiom for 24 hours every day, how can we still be so full of shit in that we believe? Either the watchdogs aren't doing their jobs, ot else were're just plain stupid.

Myth No. 6 — Republicans Shrink the Government

Republicans always trot out the slogan that they oppose big government and want to shrink the federal payroll. President Bush tells us that "big government is not the answer." President Reagan told us, "Our government is too big and it spends too much."

But for more than 75 years, no Republican administration has cut the size of government. Since George W. Bush became president, government spending has risen nearly 25 percent.

And the spending increase isn't just tied to the war on terrorism. The Office of Management and Budget says spending at the Environmental Protection Agency is up 12 percent, it's up 14 percent at the Agriculture Department, 30 percent at the Department of the Interior, 64 percent at the Department of Labor, and 70 percent at the Department of Education.

And the pork keeps pouring out. Even the Peanut Festival in Dothan, Ala., got $200,000. Republican congressman Terry Everett got them the money. He wouldn't talk to us about it. But the locals said they like getting your money. "I think it's a waste of money, but if they're going to waste money, I guess it's better to waste it here than anywhere else," one man told me.

Economist Stephen Moore, a Republican, says, "We fought a war against big government and you know what? Big government won."

He noted, "You look at what's happened to the government in the 10 years since the Republicans took control of Congress, the government is twice as big."

Thta's one of my favorites, but there are a lot more.