Gut Rumbles

April 30, 2011

jack is pissed at me

Originally published October 1, 2003

I didn't ask for this. Fate thrust it upon me.

The school kids are out selling cookie-dough again. (By the way, those goddam honest Boy Scouts never delivered my popcorn!) Jack's sister Hailie hit my house first. She's a scheming little mercenery, but I like her. She is nine years old now and will be a beautiful woman when she grows up. She has all the right physical attributes and she already knows how to charm a man.

"Mr. Rob, you KNOW you want to buy some cookie dough from ME, don't you?" she said, with a white toothed smile and a swaying behind, typical weapons wimmen deploy on me. AND SHE'S ONLY NINE YEARS OLD. Goddam it, they learn it in the cradle. ARRRGGGHHH!

I was out $24 before I knew what was happening.

Then Jack showed up while I was writing a check for his sister. He was highly pissed at me and went stomping off in a huff. I was supposed to be his gold mine. Instead, I spent $24 on the one who got to my front door first.

I would have bought something from him, too, but his temper made him spiteful, kinda like I get sometimes. Maybe Jack can learn a lesson from this.

NEVER trust a woman.

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