Gut Rumbles

January 21, 2010

Young Jack

Originally published September 1, 2004

I meant to write about Jack earlier. He came to visit me on Sunday and spent about an hour at the Crackerbox. I can't see my son, but Jack still loves me and he never misses a chance to drop by. Go figure what kind of terrible person I am.

Jack is playing football this year and he's very excited about it. "Mr. Rob, the coach says I'm the best player on the team," he announced proudly. I KNOW Jack and he tends to exaggerate sometimes (something I would NEVER do), so I wasn't certain about this "best on the team" thing.

"What makes you the best?" I asked. Jack went off on a rant about being fast, tough and tricky, and then he said, "I did just what you told me to do. I hit people so hard that they pee their pants."

Oh. My. God. I could imagine how his mother would respond to that statement. But, that's what I told him once and that lesson must have stuck in his boyish brain. Little pitchers have big ears.

I gave Jack the nickname "Hurricane Head" a few years ago. I've washed his hair before and he has the thickest blonde locks of wire-like hair, all curled around the crown of his head, that you'll ever see. That boy's got hair like a Brillo pad. It resembles a whirlpool if you look down from the top.

He got ready to go back to "nanny's" house and I told him that I would walk with him. I like Jack a lot. He really IS like a second son to me. He put an arm around my waist and babbled the entire time we walked. I put my hand on his shoulder and enjoyed listening to a little boy BE a little boy.

I cannot believe that Jack trusts me the way he does and I am an unfit father for my own son. But that's what happens when you marry a bloodless cunt.

When Jack arrived at "nanny's" house, he went inside to play a video game. I talked with nanny for a while. She told me Jack REALLY IS the best player on his team. He's the QUARTERBACK!!! She also said that the coach was convinced that Jack had played organized football before because of how well he performed in the tryouts.

"Jack didn't know what a football was three years ago," I said.

"No, he didn't. But I watched you play with Quinton and Jack in your yard. You taught him what he knows and that's something his father never took the time to do. Jack thinks you should be in the football hall of fame."

I am proud of myself now.

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