Gut Rumbles

July 25, 2009

revenge ain't sweet

Originally PUBLISHED March 04, 2006

I had breakfast at my hotel (the "Jaco Festival") and walked into town afterward. That was two days ago, I think. I bought some cigarettes and shopped for a few souvenirs I want to bring home and send to a few special people. I started to go by the scuba diving place and see what the lessons cost, but suddenly, I wasn't feeling well.

I broke out in a sweat. My belly started to puff up as if I were about six months pregnant. I felt achy all over. I decided to go back to my room and rest for a spell.

That "spell" lasted about 36 hours. Holy Bejus!!! After all the trips I've made here and all the different food I've eaten with no problem at all, Montezuma finally got his revenge on me this time. I was one sick puppy. You don't want the gory details, because that's a story I prefer not to tell, although I could make a couple of REALLY GOOD shit-blogs about it. Maybe even start a trend in vomit-blogging, too...

I've been wondering what got me. I don't think it was the water, because I've drunk the agua all over the country before and it's never bothered me. Maybe it was the fruit I bought off a street vendor when I first arrived in Jaco. Pears and plums with a nearly lethal after-effect? Maybe the hotel poisoned me so that I won't pig out on all the free stuff I get to eat and drink here. Who knows?

Whatever it was, I don't want any more of it. I finally know what it's like to be fricking MISERABLE in Costa Rica. I didn't even make it to the beach yesterday. Instead, I became intimate friends with the commode in my room. It was UGLY, folks... mighty UGLY.

I was able to eat some soup last night and I slept for about 12 hours after that "meal," which was the only food I've been able to tolerate since my affliction struck. I feel okay today. In fact, I'm hungry. But damn if I didn't shoot the last two days square in the ass.

I still wonder what it was that got me...

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