Gut Rumbles

September 13, 2008

Off to a good start

Originally published December 31, 2001

One thing I forgot to mention about my buddy from South Carolina is the fact that he finally made a legitimate woman out of his partner for the past 25 years by marrying her, naked in Key West. They have two sets of wedding pictures that record the blessed occasion. One set is for the family and not-so-close friends. In these pictures, they have their clothes on. The other set, however, which I have seen and begged for copies so that I could start my very own internet porno site, feature them both, along with the ushers and bridesmaids, butt-ass naked under a bright Florida sun. I wish I had been there.

His finally-legitimate wife is at Lake Tahoe now, visiting her daughter, which is why my friend is spending the night with me. He ate up all the food in his house and had to find another place to graze until his wife returned. She called last night to inform us that she lost $30 playing the slots at Harrah's Casino in Stateline, Nevada. She also said it was one hell of a good deal, because she consumed enough free liquor while gambling to more than cover a $30 bar tab. We told her not to fall asleep in a Nevada snowbank, have a good trip home, and check everyone's shoes before she boarded an airplane.

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