Gut Rumbles

September 08, 2008

Be careful what you wish for

Originally published January 3, 2002

If you don't believe that you can have too much of a good thing, let me tell you a story.

After being completely impotent for 11 weeks following prostate surgery, I was delighted that the miracles of modern medicine included a "Fix a Flat" kit that would solve all my problems, as long as I was willing to stick myself in the dick with a hypodermic needle to get there. That may sound awfully desperate to some people, but when you want something badly enough, you'll be surprised at what you are willing to do. I was a desperate man.

I had a chance to try it in action for the first time a few nights ago, and I used the reduced dosage the doctor recommended after my first experience in his office resulted in an excruciatingly painful erection that made me think of the first "Alien" movie, when that creature tore out of the guy's chest and then ran around the ship terrorizing the crew. I thought that was going to happen to me, right there in the doctor's office, with the creature tearing out from somewhere else. And it seemed fully capable of running around a spaceship and terrorizing a crew.

So, I didn't use nearly as much of the magic potion and I didn't achieve nearly the same results when I did it myself the first time. Everything went okay, but I was somewhat disappointed. That's why I decided to increase the dosage just slightly last night, then throw in a Viaga pill to see if that would enhance the effects. And it worked! And worked! And continued to work, long after she had rolled off me and gone to sleep, making contented little kitten noises.

I found myself sitting on my sofa with an ice pack on the damned thing at 12:00 midnight, praying for it to go away. At around 1:00, it became fairly horizontal instead of damned near vertical, as it had been for about four hours. I finally was able to stagger off to bed and go to sleep, thankful that I wouldn't have to call in sick to work today with a terminal hard-on. When I woke up this morning, it was gone, thank God.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.


Originally published January 4, 2002

I don't know if I can stand another experience like last night..... but....

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