Gut Rumbles

August 21, 2008

shitty gray rain

Originally PUBLISHED February 03, 2005

This has been a shitty, gray rainy day and the temperature is 46 degrees outside now. That's called "bitter weather" in southeast Georgia, and fuck all you yankees who call us wimps. I don't like it.

I've been in a pissy mood, but I was really trying to recall something humorous to write about in spite of the weather. Hell, when I was a kid I didn't like to play outside on days like this. So, memory recollection is difficult today.

But I remember Art Salter's yard. His daddy was a welder and he built one hell of a monkey-bar-swingset in his back yard. It was awesome. We played on it all the time and invented dangerous stunts to perform. That's what little boys do. Yeah, that's stupid, but you're not gonna DIE, or anything like that. Try it.

One of out biggest hits was to climb to the top of the swingset bar, stand up and walk it all the way to the end, turn around on the bar, and then do a back-flip off of it into the grass. That was a 3" piece of pipe, about 8' off the ground, so balance was important.

We were doing that stunt one day when Michael Moffet slipped about halfway across the bar. He did the waving arms thing first, then let both legs fly out in a perfect "Y". He landed on the bar nut-sack first, and grabbed it for a moment, before he slowly rolled over and fell head-first to the ground. We thought he was dead.

He wasn't. Michael was ALWAYS the one who got hurt doing shit like that, so I believe that he got tough through practice. His balls were badly injured, so we turned a water hose on him and told him to quit whining. He couldn't walk for a while, but he eventually found his way home.

Now. That's a funny story, isn't it?

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