Gut Rumbles

August 10, 2008

A quiz

Originally published March 1, 2005


1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I KNOW who the fuck I am, asshat. I am Acidman, a crazed hillbilly turned Cracker who doesn't need to explain himself to YOU.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I am a man of leasure today. I don't work. But I HAVE worked in a fast-food restaurant before, and I was good at it. Of course, I've been pretty good at everything I ever tried in life--- except staying married.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Yes, and most of it was unpleasant. Not nearly as much fun as blogging.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
No. I am functionally illiterate and I don't read at all. "Stop" signs confuse me.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Yes. I sometimes watch CNN and CBS when I feel the overpowering desire to hear lies.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Hey! We've got a GREAT talk radio host right here in Savannah, with his own show from 8:00 till noon every day on WBMQ, 630 on the AM dial. His name is Ben Bennet and I think he's headed for stardom someday. I listen to his show only when I'm driving around in my truck, but I think he's damned good. He needs to start a blog.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Acutally, I receive several such missives every day and I delete them without reading them. I have my own opinions about EVERYTHING, including where you can bite me for calling me a "parrot."

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I don't want to "silence" them. I want them dragged off and shot. I deplore stupidity.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I own a passport. It doesn't have a very good picture of me on it. I resemble a serial killer in that photo. Maybe that's why Customs always pays me extra attention when I travel.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
No. I've never left my mama's basement. I LIE about going to other countries, but it's all bullshit.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
I'm 53 fucking years old, asswipe, and I ain't in the best of shape anymore. The military wouldn't have me now if I offered to pay THEM for the privilege to serve. But I still support the war 100% and if my son ends up in it, I'll be proud of him.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
No. But I've felt my own face turn into a pile of goo after drinking moonshine whiskey.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Yes. That would be my last ex-wife, the Bloodless Cunt. That is True Goo.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!"
What's YOUR problem, numbnuts? Ya got short-term memory loss from sniffing too much model airplane glue? I already answered this question. I am ACIDMAN!!! Who the hell do you think YOU are?

I stole the quiz from here because I had nothing better to do at the time.

Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.