Gut Rumbles

July 26, 2008

My first supervisory act

Originally published July 2, 2004

As long as I'm pontificating on the subject of football, I want to tell a story. I don't remember who we were playing at the time, but they had a fourth and one on our thirty yard-line. I was defensive captain and I called the signals. We huddled and I announced ""6-5 spread."

I got a protest from that asshole Billy Holland, who always thought that he should be team captain. "6-5 SPREAD? That's crazy! We oughta to run the pinch. They need less than a yard."

I said, "Billy, shut up in my huddle or I'm getting you out of this game. We're gonna run a 6-5 spread."

"You can't get me out of this game. Only coach can do that."

I stepped from the huddle and called a time out. I jogged to the sidelines and told my coach, "Either you take Billy out of the game right now, or you take ME out. He's causing dissention in my huddle and I'm not gonna put up with that."

Coach took Billy out of the game. I still remember the stunned look on his face when that happened.

I went back to the huddle and called a 6-5 spread again. "Anybody got any questions?" I asked. Nobody did.

We ran the spread, the other team tried a sweep, the way I expected, and I tackled their all-state 230-pound tailback for a three-yard loss. Billy Holland never lined up in my huddle again after that.

That was my first act as a supervisor.

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