Gut Rumbles

April 30, 2008

The lime

Originally published August 23, 2003

I took a big bite of lime off a Margarita when I was at Jekyll Island. The boys were drinking cherry Sprites at the tiki bar while taking a break from the water. They both made faces at me.

"Daddy, isn't that SOUR? Quinton asked.

"Yeah, it's sour," I replied. "But when I was your age, I used to peel a lemon and eat the whole thing at once. I would just pop the whole lemon in my mouth and chew. I could do it, but people puked watching me."

"I could do that with a lime," Quinton said. "So could I," promised Jack. They bugged me the rest of the stay to go to the grocery store and buy them a lime, but I never did.

Heh. They got their chances today. We went to the super Wal-Mart for necessary supplies, such as microwave popcorn and a new Playstation II game. I bought two limes while we were there. One for Quinton and one for Jack. When we got back home I peeled one.

"Okay, kiddo. Show me what you've got," I said, as I handed Quinton a peeled, juice-dripping fresh lime. He popped the entire fruit into his mouth and started to chew. He lasted two seconds.

He hit his knees, spit out the lime and made "ACK! ACK!" noises while tears ran down his tanned and freckled cheeks. The semi-masticated lime lay on the carpet between his legs while he seemed ready to die. Jack's eyes grew large. I almost choked myself to keep from laughing.

"Okay, Jack. You ready for yours?" I asked.

"No thank you, Mr. Rob. I'm not hungry right now," he said, while watching Quinton still making barf-noises and writhing on the floor at the time.

"Okay. Your loss is my gain." I peeled the second lime and popped it in my mouth whole. I chewed and grinned while the boys watched in amazement. The explosion on my tongue was wonderful enough to give me goosebumps. That was one juicy, toe-curling sour lime, and I enjoyed every bit of it with a straight face because the boys were watching. They were amazed.

"Ya'll are a couple of wussies." I told them. "I shoulda bought some more limes. I LIKE 'em."

They went off to try the new Playstation II game after that.

I'll bet that neither one EVER asks for a lime again.

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