Gut Rumbles

August 23, 2007

Up in smoke

Originally published June 16, 2002

Just now, I lit a cigarette.

I like the way it feels between my fingers and I savor the taste of the smoke as I draw it into my lungs. It tastes good, like a cigarette should. I prefer menthol because I enjoy the slightly eucalyptus tingle it leaves on the tongue. Take a puff, itís springtime. I also prefer cigarettes with white filters, although I will smoke the brown ones if thatís all I can find. I suppose I would rather switch than fight. Regardless of the brand Iím smoking at the time, I find them all outstandingÖ and they are mild. I enjoy cigarettes so much that I wish they were all just one silly millimeter longer.

As I watch the delicate curls of smoke swirl like caressing fingers around this computer monitor, I wonder how anybody can hate my ever-loving guts for enjoying this personal pleasure of mine. If I were a heroin addict, a serial rapist, a pederast, someone who desired to marry a goat, or a liberal democrat, all of whom are people that I believe need serious reprogramming, I could find a support group of some kind to be on my side and protect my civil rights.

But I smoke, and everybody on the anti-smoking bandwagon not only hates me, but is regarded as a righteous citizen for doing so. I donít understand it. The same people who preach tolerence for a lot downright bizarre behavior in society are the first to go absolutely hydrophobic in their persecution of smokers. Isn't that just a tad hypocritical? Oh, it's not? Because they're SAVING THE CHILDREN?

No, they're not. That excuse is the cloaking device they use to disguise their true mission. They just want to bully people, and they know that our tolerant nation tolerates intolerance when it is directed at a demonized minority. Smokers are a good target today. Anti-smokers and Islamist nutballs have more in common than most people realize. Both are motivated by hatred. Both think they know the ONE TRUE WAY everyone should live. Both despise the concept of personal freedom.

Both are flaming assholes.

And most people won't recognize all the advertising blurbs in the first paragraph, from cigarette commercials I saw on television as a child. Yes, youngsters! Many, many years ago, cigarettes were advertised on TV. One of these days, you can tell YOUR children about seeing BILLBOARDS containing cigarette advertisements. Then they can tell THEIR children about LEGAL cigarettes, after they are banned and the government WAR ON DRUGS has a brand new target of opportunity.

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