Gut Rumbles

July 23, 2007

Some days are diamonds. This one wasn't.

Originally published January 23, 2002

I dreamed about my father last night. He died almost ten years ago, but I dream about him frequently and it's a rare day that passes when I don't think of him. He had a lot to do with making me the person I am today, and I'm not always certain he would be proud of that. I suppose I will wonder the rest of my life.

He never saw his grandson, and I will always regret that sad fact, not only because he missed the joy my son would have given him, but because my son missed out on the joy my father would have given him, too. I WOULD NOT have written the story the way it turned out if it were MY SCRIPT. I believe in happy endings. Sometimes, however, life just doesn't go that way.

If I appear to be in one of my down moods, it's because I am. A big shutdown was scheduled at work today and a lot of meticulous planning went into making the whole thing go smoothly. I arrived at work at 6:00 this morning and left at 8:00 tonight. The whole thing was a total goat-fuck. I am tired, I am dirty and I wish I could talk to my Dad about what happened at work. I wish I could hug my son. I wish today had been a better day.

Sometimes, however, life just doesn't go that way.

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