Gut Rumbles

July 19, 2007

Just some "crackers"

Originally published May 4, 2006

* Tomorrow is my mama's birthday. If she were still alive, she'd be 76 years old. Just damn, but I miss her. It's strange, though--- I still dream about my father a lot, and he's been gone for 13 years. I don't remember dreaming about Mama since she died, just over a year ago.

* My garden may not produce a got-dam thing this year, but I have another bumper crop of blackberries growing wild around my house. I've picked a little more than three pints of berries over the past three days and I still have plenty more that aren't ripe yet.

* I killed a copperhead snake this morning. I was picking blackberries when I saw the sumbitch, curled up under the condensate drain for my home heat-pump unit, about a foot from my hand. I don't know if he was wetting his whistle or hoping for some prey to come along for a drink, and I didn't wait to find out. I used a stick to drag his ass out of the bushes and cave in his head. That little fucker was less than a foot long, but it still scared me half to death and made me hurt my shoulder beating on its head.

* Whatever is wrong with my shoulders is getting worse every day. My range of motion in both arms is pathetic now and I ache like hell, except when I forget and reach for something. Then, I get a blinding, knife-like bone-pain that makes me see stars. (And I ain't talking about Roscoe, either.) I don't see the orthopedic guy until next week, if I can last that long before I'm totally crippled.

* I haven't seen or talked to my son since January. I've been writing him letters, but I don't know if he ever sees them or not. A great sadness settles over me if I let myself think about it. I try NOT to think about it, but it happens anyway.

* Michael Crichton makes another good point in his "Author's Message" at the end of State of Fear. "The 'precautionary principle', properly applied, forbids the precautionary principle." BWHAHAHAAA! Proponents of the precautionary principle don't see the inherent contradiction, which doesn't surprise me, looking at the proponents.

* I'm an English Major and I don't do math. I sometimes don't do spelling very well, either.

* There's a got-dam BIG difference between "tolerance" and "indulgence." It's not politically-correct to notice.

* this guy has an Excel spreadsheet with 468 synonyms for "vagina." If I really tried, I think I could come up with that many synonyms for "testicles." (Balls, cojones, jewels, eggs, stones, nuts, cods, marbles...)

* I believe that I learned more science in the seventh grade than most high school graduates do today. Or COLLEGE GRADUATES, for that matter. I know what chlorophyl is. Do you?

* People who think they're gonna get something for nothing from government should remember what my daddy always said: "Rob, nobody in this world is gonna give you something for nothing except me and your mama--- and even THEN, you'd better wonder what WE get out of it."

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