Gut Rumbles

June 10, 2007

The pink letter

Originally published December 20, 2004

I do not believe that a skilled carpenter could take a belt sander to my ass and make me any more chapped than I am right now. I've been in a piss-fight with MCI ever since I cancelled my long-distance account with them months ago. MCI now has turned my "delinquent" account over to a collection agency and I received my first Pink Notice of Impending Death today.

What started this feud was MCI attempting to charge me more than $50 for less than $15 worth of long-distance calls. When I called to protest, they said that I didn't say "NO!" to the offer, so they signed me up for a money-saving plan where I paid $50 per month as a flat fee instead of hassling with those petty 32-cent phone calls I usually make.

Somehow, a bill with less than $15 worth of calls on it now amounts to $400 dollars in the gimlet eyes of MCI. I KNEW that company was fucked-up when they hired Danny Glover as their spokesman. I TOLD them that I would pay for the phone calls I made, but they could stick that $50 fee right up their ass.

Now, some faceless entity is threatening to "ruin my credit" unless I cough up the bucks. BWHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I've got money in the bank, but I have NO INCOME, so my credit already sucks, on paper at least. These people scare the shit out of me.

I changed my long distance service to Alltel months ago, and for curiousity's sake, I dug out my bills for the last FOUR MONTHS. During that time, I made a grand total of $4.32 worth of long-distance calls. That's typical for me, because I seldom make long-distance calls and when I do, it's usually to Recondo and Georgia. Those calls cost next to nothing because I don't stay on the phone long.

MCI wants me to pay them more than $400 in "fees" I don't owe them? I don't think so. And if they keep up their shit, I'm gonna stiff them on what I DO owe them and chalk it up as the cost of MY pain and suffering from this dickheaded harassment they're giving me. They've caused me to lie awake at night worrying about my credit rating.

If you have an MCI account, cancel it. The bastards are lying, devious crooks and their customer service SUCKS.

Fuck 'em.

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