Gut Rumbles

May 28, 2007

Great brain-farts of our time

Originally published June 16, 2006

* The Alternative Minimum Tax. Remember how that fart popped out when Jimmah Carter convinced people that oil companies were making "windfall profits" and "the rich" weren't paying enough taxes because of "loopholes?" (That was right around the time Jimmah himself owed NO federal income taxes on $600,000 worth of peanut-farming profits, but he graciously agreed to pay $6,000 that year, just because everybody needed to contribute their "fair share" to government. ONE PERCENT!!!??? I would stop bitching about income taxes if I could get away with that kinda generosity today. Looking at the note I got from the IRS today, I donated 40% of MY income to them in 2003, and that wasn't enough, so I NOW owe another $60,000--- more than 150% of what I earned over the past three years.)

Anyway, government brain-farted the "Alternative Minimum Tax", to KEEP tax-dodging scroundrels from doing exactly what Jimmah did, and it has become a got-dam pod-creature, sucking the souls from a LOT of people today. Congress keeps promising to "look into it," which Congress may actually do someday--- when pigs fly.

* Richard Nixon. Okay, electing him was a brain-fart--- but it didn't smell so bad when you looked at George McGovern as an alternative. Most people remember him because of Watergate and his confidence-inspiring declaration, "I am NOT a crook!" Unfortunately, people forget about wage & price controls, "Peace with Honor" in Vietnam, the creation of the EPA, the Endangered Species Act, his focus on government-controlled education and several other absolute, wallpaper-curling brain-farts THAT MAN unleashed from the Oval Office. I was going to name them all as individual brain-farts, but since he hatched them, I simply credited the source.

* Silent Spring. Ask me to name the top 10 bloodiest mass-murderers of my lifetime, and Rachael Carson will make my top five. She is the perverted Mommie Dearest of the modern environmentalist movement and is PERSONALLY responsible for the ban on DDT, which has cost MILLIONS (if not BILLIONS) of lives over the years. When you consider the number of people, mostly poor, black children, who have died from malaria since she wrote her infamous book, she makes Joe Stalin, Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein look like pikers.

* School busing. In the late 1950s and all through the 1960s I received a decent education in public, though segregated schools. The situation was racist, deplorable and downright un-American, according to compassionate "experts." Politicians brain-farted mandatory integration of ALL public schools, which resulted in three wonderful results. First, horrible race riots in schools all over the country. Second, a tremendous dumbing-down of expectations because blacks couldn't compete. Third, the extinction of neighborhood schools, which went from being a part of a community to becoming forbidden zones by a faceless, disinterested bureaucracy. There's also a #4 result which is politically-incorrect to mention--- and that's the Balkanization that occurred in "intergrated" schools when kids divided themselves along racial lines on their own, which isn't surprising if you understand human nature. You can't make people less race-conscious when they know the only reason they are forced to go to the schools they are forced to attend is because of race.

* Affirmative Action. One of the most disgusting, boiled egg and cooked cabbage brain-farts ever ripped out of an unwashed anus. Animal Farm come to life. I'll NEVER understand how anyone can preach equality when their basic philosophy is that some people are more "equal" than others.

* Prohibition. Okay, that was long before my time, but I include it here to prove that people NEVER LEARN from stupid mistakes. Prohibition DID NOT stop people from drinking alcohol, but it DID give rise to the "Roaring Twenties" and financed a seriously organized crime syndacate that still exists today. In a brief moment of sanity, we repealed the Eighteenth Amendment, but we didn't learn diddy-squat from the Prohibition mistake. We turned right around a generation or so later and declared a WAR ON (some) DRUGS, which has had EXACTLY the same results. Like death and taxes, brain-farts ALWAYS will be with us.

* Roe v Wade. In MY humble opinion, abortion never should have been illegal in the first place. But when we "legalized" it with a Roe v Wade Supreme Brainfart, we created a lot more problems, ones that went FAR beyond abortion, that I'm not convinced we can EVER cure now. That case is the most obvious example of the black-robed witch doctors of our justice system suddenly discovering "penumbras" and "divinations" in the US Constitution that aren't obvious to sane folks. It's also amazing to me how once justices decided that the Constitution was a "living" document, it was okay to KILL babies. Bejus! 'Splain THAT one to me, Lucy!

* Marriage Amendment. I'll offer TWO suggestions on this subject. First, I don't believe that we have a got-dam politician alive today who is intelligent enough to amend the Constitution. Good parents don't allow their kids to play with matches, and we shouldn't let ANY of those sanctimonious gasbags in DC today "play" with the Constitution. We'll ALL end up getting burned.

Second, here is where we finally can stand up and yell, "CUT THE SHIT!" to posturing politicians. We've got enough serious problems in this country today that if our elected clowns were actually doing their jobs, they wouldn't have time to worry about something so insignificant. This issue falls right into the Flag Burning category to me. Nobody changes MY mind about who I am and whether or not I love my country by burning a flag. I don't LIKE IT, and I think only a retarded sumbitch does it, but would much rather see some unwashed, ex-hippy burning a flag that hear John McCain propose another law. One can't hurt ME. The other can.

And I could give a rat's ass about who screws who or what they like to do together in bed. That crap ain't none of my business. And it ain't the government's business, either. But that's the problem today--- EVERYTHING is government's business anymore.

And that's the biggest brain-fart of all.

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