Gut Rumbles

April 05, 2007

I know this is juvenile, but I have to do it, thanks to my national champion ex-linebacker friend Ed, who sent me the e-mail

Originally published April 23, 2002

Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimoto were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says, "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot."

Snow White said "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?"

Quasimoto agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the ugliest!"

Suddenly Snow White has an idea. "You know, guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth."

Hercules says "Great, Let's meet tomorrow and tell our tales."

Quasimoto gets up to leave and says "See you tomorrow. Boy, I'm going to find out for certain that I'm the ugliest."

The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules says, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest."

Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest."

Quasimoto has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Janet Reno?"

I always was frightened by the possibility that Janet Reno would get drunk one night, seduce Warren Christopher and produce the ugliest offspring in the history of the world. Thank goodness that never happened.

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