Gut Rumbles

March 01, 2007

Mama tried

Originally published March 4, 2005

I held her hand today, and I don't know if she really understood me or not. But I think she did.

"Mama, I've screwed up a bunch in my life..."

"I know, I know."

"...but I've always loved you and I always will."

"I know, I know."

"I'm your black sheep, the radioactive son. Dave is the good one and I'm the bad example. You raised me better than the way I turned out. I know that I've broken you heart 100 times, and I regret that deeply. I am sorry for the pain I've caused you."

"I know, I know."

"I've been a shit, a complete jerk, but I always loved you. Maybe I didn't show it the right way, but I loved you just the same."

"I know. I know."

She fell asleep then and the ambulance from Hospice came to pick her up shortly thereafter. Man, do I feel bad right now. I've followed that different drummer all of my life and he didn't always lead me down the right path. But that shit is MY fault.

Mama tried.


I have been there done that. Your Mom loves you, ;like mine did, and there's no going back and doing over. I know what you're feeling. It will still hurt in twenty years, but you won't think about it as often.

Posted by: BirdAdvocate on March 2, 2007 03:44 AM
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