Gut Rumbles

February 09, 2007

Never again

Originally published October 25, 2003

I am NOT feeding Quinton and Jack McDonald's fast food and allowing them to drink Mountain Dew EVER again. Boy, did they get a case of ants in their pants after the football game today. I finally got them quieted down and asleep without the use of a baseball bat to the head, but it was nip and tuck for a while there.

Quinton tried to steal MY SEAT on the couch and I ran his little ass off of it. I put a tickle attack and a Wet Willie on him. He surrended to the Tall Dog and I got my seat back. He ended up wrapped in a blanket and hugging me while Jack sat on the floor and played with magnets.

I felt sorry for Jack. "You wanna get up here, too?" I asked.

"Are you going to tickle me, Mr. Rob?"

"That's for ME to know and YOU to find out, Jack. Do you want to get on the couch with Quinton and me?"

"Okay," he replied, and up he jumped. All was quiet for about 30 seconds and then Jack laid a juicy Wet Willie in my ear. As I was laying the Death of 1,000 Tickles on HIM, Quinton hit me from behind and juiced me AGAIN in the ear with another Wet Willie. Goddam! I was surrounded!

I had to subdue both of those hyper-caffeineated young men, sit on them and tickle until they both cried "UNCLE!" and then go find a dishrag to wipe the slobber out of my ears. Thank Bejus they finally fell asleep. I hope that they are not playing possum on me.

I am too old for this shit.

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