Gut Rumbles

December 29, 2006

Lured me with drugs

Originally published July 10, 2003

My doctor admitted today that the morphine shot to go yesterday was an attempt to make me stay in the hospital last light. "You are one of the VERY FEW who have that operation and want to go home as quickly as you did," he said.

I didn't admit that the plan almost worked. That shot knocked me ass over teakettle. If Mom hadn't pulled up right to the front door so I had to take only three steps out of the wheelchair to hit the passenger seat, I would have fallen on my Cracker ass right there in the parking lot. They gave me the good shit. I was ALL fuh-eh-duh.

I replied, "My Mom has a computer and she doesn't mind if I smoke on the back porch. You people won't let me get on the internet OR smoke."

"Oh, yeah... you're that "blogger" guy, aren't you?"

Yeah, I am that blogger guy. And THAT'S why I got the fuck out of there at 2:30 yesterday afternoon. I could blog and smoke after I escaped their evil clutches. They might have demerol and morphine, but I had drugs to go, in pill form. And Mom had a computer.

That was a no-brainer in my book. I like blogging more than I like really good drugs, especially when you have to stay in a hospital to get them. Some things are more important than getting high, especially when you can do them and get high anyway.

It makes perfect sense to me.

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