Gut Rumbles

June 13, 2006

tomfoolery of our time

* I shop for groceries at a local Kroger's store. They have an ENTIRE AISLE dedicated to "organic food," and that doesn't count the shit in the produce department veggie bins labeled "organic," which look like crap but cost twice what regular food does. I don't buy much "organic" food, except for the blue corn tortilla chips. I LIKE those, but I don't purchase organic salsa to eat with them. Organic, my ass.

* "Tolerance" is supposed to be a high virtue today. I don't get the idea, I don't buy it and I damn sure ain't gonna change my ways to be politicallly correct. Some things are INTOLERABLE and if you're arfaid to call 'em that, you need to be dragged off and shot.

* "The Poor." Bejus! Don't even get me started. When some overweight, big-titted woman with six illegitimate children, all living in a house with cable TV and air conditioning, prance around in designer tennis shoes and start whining about being "poor," I ain't listening to that crap. I've stood behind those people in a line at a Kroger's checkout counter and watched them buy ground chuck to feed a DOG because food stamps can't be used to buy Purina chow, and I've seen them be very careful when pulling out their Welfare Insta-banker cards, to keep from breaking the expensive French-look, manicured fingernails they sported.

* Politicians are NOT "leaders" anymore. They are the scum of the earth. The only full set of testicles you'll find in Washington DC today are dangling from Hillary Clinton, who sports them because she is shameless, not macho. THAT'S a sad state of affairs.

* Ask someone... hell... ask ANYONE you know to name the Bill of Rights. Half the people you ask won't know what in the hell you're talking about. The other half MAY know one or two, especially that one about "separation of church and state," which doesn't exist. Totally ignorant people cannot live free.

* How many people do YOU know who can name BOTH of their senators and their congressman?

* How many people do YOU know who dance a merry jig when they receive an income tax REFUND but never realize that it was THEIR MONEY to begin with?

* If you see an "environmentalist" riding in a limosine, does that make you wanna cry BULLSHIT!!!??

* I was born in 1952. Dwight Eisenhower was President at the time. Since then, I've seen JFK, LBJ, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmah Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush I, Bill Clinton and George The Second hold that office. Ask someone else my age to name the Presidents they've seen in THEIR lives. Fewer than one in ten can do it, but they ALL vote.

* True "Democracy" is mob rule. We DO NOT live in a democracy, even though a lot of people think we do, and the mob appears to be taking over today.

* My daddy once told me that those who CAN DO, do. Those who CAN'T DO, teach. And those who can't DO or TEACH go into politics. My daddy was a wise man.



By damn, I can name my senators and congressman:
Shemp, Larry and Moe, often simply referred to as Fuckwit 1, Fuckwit 2 and Fuckwit 3. I've managed to live through all those presidents plus Roosevelt and Truman. And, I thank whatever gods may be that none of my children grew up to be lawyers or politicians - I couldn't have stood the shame. Keep after 'em, GRumbles.

Posted by: Ol' Lurker on June 13, 2006 11:59 AM

Curly, Larry and Moe.

Posted by: Catfish on June 13, 2006 12:19 PM

What I've never understood is where they get the money for their hair weaves and their fancy nails... anyone got a clue?

Posted by: anon on June 13, 2006 12:34 PM

Organic CORN is WONDERFUL. My peeps won't have nothing but the organic fruits and veggies and they don't care HOW much I spend on it. It's because it's grown with no preservatives and pesticides..pure food.

Posted by: Kelly on June 13, 2006 01:08 PM

Yeah but the ones who are too lcan't do, can't teach, and are too gotdam crooked for politics preach or become lawyers.

Posted by: GUYK on June 13, 2006 01:18 PM

Rob dear,

If one cannot DO, one cannot teach.

That may be the problem in some of the schools. I've seen waaaay to many young teachers who can't DO or TEACH.

But!! they look nice, keep the parents happy and the kids quiet, so they get very high reviews.

More and more, I'm thinking I got out just in time.

Posted by: Nancy on June 13, 2006 01:35 PM

Shemp (Moe's brother) was one of the original Stooges. Curley ( Moe's and Shemp's brother) joined after Shemp left to do other things. So, I guess we're both right. But, I guess only us older, more mature types would know this. Heh.

Posted by: Ol' Lurker on June 13, 2006 03:25 PM

My wife teaches history and is damned good at it. So, how would one "do" history? For that matter, how would an English major "do" English? Please enlighten us. And don't tell us writing is "doing" English - writing is "doing" writing.

Posted by: Liam on June 13, 2006 03:32 PM

Acidman, you're starting to get really funny again. That was an excellent post! (tomfoolery)

Posted by: Phil on June 13, 2006 03:35 PM

If you was born in 1952, Truman was president. Eisenhower was elected in 1952 but inaugurated in 1953.

Posted by: dom on June 13, 2006 07:05 PM

Ya got me, Dom. Truman WAS President when I was born. Eisenhower was ELECTED in 1952. I was damn near a year old before he was inagurated.

Thank you for reminding me what an old fart I am...

Posted by: Acidman on June 13, 2006 07:33 PM

You really are full of it, but it's fun to read.

Posted by: Kevin on June 13, 2006 07:39 PM

Well, I was a Regan baby, and I know the presidents since then. I actually had a history teacher make us memorize ALL the presidents, their years of service, and know a little about this. Anyone wanna venture how boring Millard Fillmore is? She also made us memorize not only the Bill of Rights, but all 27 ammenments. And as a shame I don't know my reps now, but she made us write biographies of current reps/senators AND write them a letter about something that was bugging us.

Now, teachers like that we need more of them. I actually hated the woman in school, but now I have an urge to call her up and thank her.


Posted by: Steph on June 14, 2006 12:49 AM

Organic? That just means they grew it with turds instead of good old 12-12-12.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on June 14, 2006 06:16 AM

I'll listen as soon as I get an organic cell phone.

Posted by: Acidman on June 14, 2006 10:39 PM
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